Consequences
by Laoise Potter
Summary: Set after Season 2 finale. The repercussions of the shooting take a toll on everybody, especially Jane. She has to make one of the toughest choices of her life in the weeks following and can only hope that one road leads back to Maura. Eventual Rizzles.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **So. The finale. … *picks up dictionary and drops it at your feet* Take the words. Take all of them. Too many emotions to name, my friends. Too many.

Well, this fic is going to be my take on what happens next. It's gonna be angsty, difficult to the core, and as realistic as I can possibly make it, but I hope you stick with me. Trust me, I want this all fixed as much as you do, so it will have a happy ending. We've just got a few…bumps to get over before we get there. Review and let me know what you think!

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><p>"<em>Maura! Maura…"<em>

"_No, don't touch him!"_

"…_Maura—"_

"_No, I mean it! Don't you dare touch him."_

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><p><em>3 weeks later<em>

Jane followed Frost, Frankie and Korsak silently into the conference room. She didn't look up, down or sideways: just stared numbly into the distance. Whatever Commander Cavanaugh said was going to change her life. She had made that decision the second Paddy Doyle started breathing again at the hands of the EMTs. Whatever news he had to bring…it would shape her entire future.

The four of them sat down at the table and didn't speak to one another. Frost, Korsak and Frankie alternated between looking at each other and at Jane, who now had her head down and her hands folded, looking very small indeed. She barely even flinched when Cavanaugh entered the room and dropped an enormous pile of manila folders onto the table.

"We have enough files here to put Doyle away for six lifetimes," the commander said with grim satisfaction, leaning on his knuckles. "The moment the doctors say he's well enough to sit up by himself, we get him into court and bring this whole mess to a close. Until then"—he rapped his fingers on the foot-high stack of folders—"I want all of you sifting through this. Take the big details and put together an airtight prosecution. We'll have this thing wrapped up in no time." Cavanaugh straightened and stared seriously at everybody. "Each and every one of you is going to testify, so pull together your own stories as well."

Korsak looked up as his superior headed for the door. "Sir…" He hesitated, swallowed and his gaze darted briefly to Jane. "What about…"

Cavanaugh paid no mind when the sergeant trailed off. "I had to go through a couple of people, but Dr. Isles won't be testifying at all. Her involvement in the situation is far too complicated."

Korsak nodded simply. The commander took one more look around the room, said "Get started, people. We've still got a ways to go," and left.

Everybody was silent for a few moments, thinking. Jane hadn't moved at all, save for some idle tangling and disentangling of her fingers. Cavanaugh's words were still ringing in her ears. They were so simple, so procedural…and yet, so life-changing.

Jane Rizzoli wasn't a coward. She wasn't going to run. She had dug her grave, and now it was time to lie in it. Quietly, unnoticeably, she let out a sigh and unwound her entwined fingers.

"I guess we should get started," Frost offered once the quiet got to him, and he reached for a file. He glanced at his partner uneasily. "Um…Jane?"

The female detective met his gaze. With despair, Frost noted the heavy emptiness in her dark eyes that had become normal within the past few weeks. "Are you going to be able to get through this?" he asked gently.

Pause. Nobody moved for a solid sixty seconds. Then Jane, very slowly, pushed her unruly hair off her face and stood up. "I need to go home," she said. "I need to think."

"Take all the time you need, Jane," Korsak said, concern etched across his face. The elder Rizzoli didn't take a single day off after the shooting. She came in to and left work like clockwork, making her way mechanically through the days. Her old partner could tell that something had snapped and he wished she'd take time to recover from whatever it was.

"I'll be back in tomorrow," Jane said curtly. Robotically, she tucked her chair against the table, but for a split second, human emotion showed as she gripped the wood as tight as she could, her knuckles turning white. She was scared. She was angry. She was overwhelmed.

Then the moment was gone, and the detective left without another word. The three men remaining in the conference room exchanged glances, each one more discouraged than the last.

Back in her apartment, Jane dug up an old laundry bag from the back of her closet. She studied it thoroughly and determined it plain, pocketless, truly-too-small-for-laundry and perfect. Emotionlessly, the detective hung it behind her bedroom door and went out to the kitchen. Jo Friday was there, staring curiously up at her master, but Jane paid her no mind as she approached the calendar on her refrigerator and started to count time. From her experience with suspects and victims alike, she figured it could be anywhere between three to eight weeks before Doyle was well enough to try in court. With a red marker she circled the day exactly three weeks away and exactly eight weeks away, and in her mind the days in between turned red as well. She looked down at her dog, who continued to stare in wonderment, and let out a cynical sniff of laughter. She tapped the calendar with the marker.

"See these days, Jo? All these days? Well, one of them…" Jane swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. She didn't want to finish, but she forced herself to whisper on. She had to accept it for what it was. It was her punishment, and she was going to take it.

"One of these days, Jo…I'm going to prison."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Oh my goodness, thank you all so much for your reviews and story alerts! I was quite surprised at the amount- so many people are doing post-finale fics, I thought mine was going to get lost in the shuffle. It's great to know that people are enjoying this story! I'm going to try to get a new one up every day, or at least once every two days, because this story is positively bursting out of me.

P.S. This chapter is from Maura's POV. I'm definitely more of a Jane writer, but I wanted Maura's side of the story to be told as well, so let me know how I'm doing with Doctor Isles!

**Disclaimer**: They belong to Tess, Janet and the wonderful people at TNT.

Raven Vongola: Here's your update! And I promise I won't leave you on edge about Jane for too much longer!

skd: I'm glad it makes you feel better :) it'll be a trip, but we'll definitely get there!

Anna: Thank you! Next chapter is back to Jane, I promise!

megmeyer: Thank you! I promise I'll update fast.

thetamarine: You'll just have to wait and see ;) Thanks for reviewing!

LOCISVU: You'll see soon enough! Thank you for reading!

KerraDelvin: …I'm not sure what to say. Your words were so touching and inspirational! It was the most amazing review I have ever received, bar none. Thank you so, so much for your kindness. Your opinion counts a lot, in my eyes! I'm so happy to have you on board for this story, and all my others, as well! I look forward to hearing from you in the future. :)

vanillalondon tumblr: We're progressing now! We'll see more of what's happening with Jane in the next chapter. Thanks for reviewing!

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><p>The timepiece on the autopsy room wall ticked the seconds steadily by as Maura washed her instruments in the sink. Another routine autopsy had left her feeling slow, almost fixed, and she unwittingly reflected on how many other times she's felt that way in the past few weeks. No matter what, though, the clock moved on. <em>Time doesn't stop when your world does<em>, she thought cynically.

A noise in the hall caused the medical examiner to look up, and a smile quirked her lips when she saw Frost making his way to the morgue's glass doors. This had become a regular occurrence over the past month—the young detective would stop by the basement a few times a week to talk with Maura; sometimes about a case, but sometimes about nothing at all. It made them both feel good to just get away for a while, and Maura's mood always lightened when the detective entered the autopsy room and raise his eyebrows in greeting.

"Doctor Isles," Frost said as he did so today. Maura nodded in his direction.

"How are you, Detective Frost?" Things between the two always began like this. Neither of them minded—at some point in the conversation, the formalities slipped away and Maura and Barry were able to talk to each other as candidly as any old friends. Their talks were a comfort; each person filled a little bit of the void Jane left in the other. Neither of them acknowledged that fact out loud, of course.

"I'm doing fine." Frost leaned against the counter next to Maura and gestured towards the instruments. "You packing up for the day?"

"I just need to finish cleaning these, then complete a report and I'll be good to go." The ME carefully picked up a scalpel and scrubbed it from the blunt side. "Oh, I have the paperwork for the Anderson case completed as well, I can give it to you in just a few minutes."

"Good." He sounded a bit disconnected, and, if Maura was looking, she probably would have seen a bit of an internal struggle reflected on his face. After a few moments of silence, Frost's shoulders slumped a little, as if he had given up on something. Reluctantly, the detective raised his eyes to Maura's face. "Commander Cavanaugh met with us today…Doyle's case is going on trial as soon as he's well enough to sit in a courtroom."

The room went quiet again, briefly. Straightening slightly, Maura sighed and picked up a towel to dry the scalpel. "I was wondering when the news would come."

"He said you wouldn't be testifying when the time came…" Frost shifted uncomfortably. "I'm assuming he hasn't told you so?"

The ME hesitated in the act of placing the scalpel with the rest of the instruments as she let the news sink in, but then she shook her head and picked up the tray of silver tools. "It's nothing less than I expected. I'm too involved from both sides to have a clear standing point on the issue. But thank you for telling me, Detective."

Frost watched grimly as Maura crossed the room with the tray. Pinching his lips together, he gave himself a quick mental pep-talk and opened his mouth again.

"She's not doing so well, Doc."

Maura tensed immediately. The subject of Jane Rizzoli had been dutifully avoided and omitted whenever they spoke to each other, it being such a sensitive topic with the doctor. She had not seen nor heard from Jane personally since the shooting and she wasn't sure if she was ready to talk about it. Setting the tray down with a little more force than intended, Maura curtly responded, "In case you hadn't noticed, Detective Frost, I'm not doing so well either."

Her reply was met with silence. Immediately berating herself for being so bluntly impolite, Maura sighed internally and slowly turned around to face her friend. "I'm sorry. Please continue."

Frost saw the same emptiness that haunted his partner's gaze reflecting in the doctor's eyes, and he grimly shook his head. "Maura, I don't want to make you—"

"No, please," she interrupted, holding out a hand. She was angry. She was sad. But Jane was her best friend, and things like that weren't easily forgotten. "I…I want to know how she is."

The weakness in her voice made Frost hesitate before answering. "She's been…" He swallowed hard, giving the doctor an opportunity to interrupt, but when she didn't, he proceeded. "She's been vacant. Distant. She does her job, she gets it all done, but you can see it on her face…she doesn't care as much anymore."

Maura didn't react. Frost looked at her for a couple of seconds before continuing. "After Cavanaugh was done talking to us about the prosecution, I looked up at her and saw…something else. Her eyes weren't just empty anymore. She looked…defeated. Like something he had said made her feel…beaten."

"Well…it was all routine matters discussed, wasn't it?" Maura asked slowly, still not sure if she wanted to talk about this. "The prosecution, the testimonials…"

"Exactly, so…I don't know what went wrong." Frost absentmindedly cracked his knuckles. "She left early. Said she needed to think, and that she'd be back in the morning." He thought for a few moments. "I can't help but feel like something bad is going to happen."

Maura shook her head vaguely, but couldn't think of a verbal response. The two of them stood silently at opposite ends of the autopsy room, each one involved in his or her own thoughts, until Frost glanced at the clock and pushed himself away from the counter.

"I should be getting back. Frankie and Korsak are still working on…things."

Maura knew what he was talking about. Doyle's trial. "Of course." She watched as Frost made his way to the door. "Um…Barry?"

Frost turned around, his hand on the door handle. "Yeah?"

"Thank you for telling me the truth. I really do appreciate it."

The detective gave her a half-smile, all he could muster. "Anytime, Doc."

Once he was gone, Maura retired to her office and sat down in her chair. She vaguely acknowledged the Anderson paperwork still sitting on her desk and made a mental note to send one of her staff to deliver it tomorrow. _But right now_…she sat back and rubbed her eyes. Right now, she needed to think. _Just like Jane_.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Here's another update! Sorry I didn't get it up yesterday; I was feeling kind of down and decided to do something to cheer me up. If you search "Rizzoli and Isles- The Man Who Chose To Smile" on YouTube, you'll see the fruits of my labor. :) Happy New Year and happy reading!

**Disclaimer**: They belong to Tess, Janet and the wonderful people at TNT.

LittleSpooky: Hahaha, thank you so much for reading!

AliasSpyCrazy: Yes, it was a very…inspirational?...ending to the season. Thank you for reading!

KerraDelvin: Thank you so much, again! This chapter has a bit of Frankie perspective, I hope I do him justice as well.

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><p>Jane was not conscious. It was past nine in the morning on the Wednesday after Cavanaugh's announcement, and Detective Rizzoli was dead asleep on her couch, fully clothed in yesterday's black pants and button-down, curled up in a tight ball. Three beer bottles sat on the coffee table and another two lay under it, not a drop of liquid left in any of them. Jane's computer was open next to the beer bottles but the screen had long since gone blank. Jo Friday was asleep under Jane's calendar. A single blanket lay haphazardly over the snoozing human on the couch, and the rest of the apartment echoed the silent, messy state of the living room.<p>

Frankie was not amused.

He clipped his keys back onto his belt and shut the apartment door, paying no mind to the amount of noise it made. Bending down, he lifted the calendar off of Jo Friday, who woke up immediately and jumped to her feet with a growl.

"Shh, Jo, it's just me," Frankie whispered, holding his palm in front of her nose. She sniffed it a few times, then gave it a satisfied lick, telling him that she'd be quiet. "Good girl."

Frankie straightened and lifted the calendar to eye-level. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "The hell is this?" he muttered to himself, one finger tracing the X's marked on the six days previous. He glanced up at his sister, who was still quite dead to the world, and remembered his mission. Removing his hat, Frankie walked over to the couch and gave Jane a nudge on the shoulder. "Janie?"

No response. He shook her arm. "Jane, you have to wake up, you're late for work."

Still nothing. A little nervous, Frankie hovered his hand near her mouth and was reassured when he felt her hot breath on his fingers. She wasn't dead—she was just thoroughly unconscious. The little brother in him kicked in and he flicked her nose, hard. "_Jane_!"

The snap against her cartilage, combined with Frankie's shout, startled her awake. "Holy—" She twisted out of the blanket in a moment of panic, knocked her computer to the ground, and promptly fell to the floor.

"Graceful, Detective, real graceful," Frankie quipped, straightening.

Jane moaned and a hand flew to her head. "Dammit, Frank, what the hell?" she growled, struggling to sit up. "Augh, that hurt…what time is it?"

"Almost nine thirty. Frost and Korsak were expecting you two hours ago, we were supposed to start wrapping thing up in the Doyle prosecution."

If it was any other normal day, Jane probably would've jumped right up and made her way to work as fast as she could, swearing the entire time. But this wasn't a normal day. She was hung over, she was pissed, and most surprisingly, she didn't give half a damn about work. That became apparent to Frankie when his sister dropped her head into her hands and moaned "Screw the Doyle case, I just want to sleep."

That didn't settle well with the younger Rizzoli. "Screw the Doyle case? Jane…" He was stumped. "What the hell's happened to you?"

"What's happened to me? I'll tell you what's happened to me. I'm tired, I'm hung over, some _idiot _with the maturity of a six-year-old just woke me up, and I'm sitting on the goddamn floor. None of these were my choices. And I'm pretty freaking sick of that happening, if you really want to know."

Frankie looked down at Jane quietly for a few moments, watching her run her hands slowly through her tangled hair. He knew there was more wrong with her, but decided to wait until after she had something to eat to press the matter further. "Here," he said, offering her his hand. "I'll call Korsak and let him know you're alive. But right now, let's get some coffee into you."

Jane grabbed his hand and let him pull her unsteadily to her feet. "That's probably the best decision you've made since you came in here," she muttered, not ungratefully, and slouched towards the kitchen.

Fifteen minutes and two quickly drained mugs of coffee later, Jane was able to prop her head up off the counter as Frankie slid a pile of eggs in front of her. She looked up at him in wordless thanks before digging in, her fork tapping lightly against the ceramic plate. It was the only sound that broke the silence for a few minutes. Frankie couldn't figure out what he wanted to say. He needed to get to her, to reach inside her, to find that old Jane and bring her out again.

He studied his sister: her poor posture, her hanging head, the way she started pushing the eggs around the plate after only a few bites—they were only surface details, but he knew they reflected what was going on underneath. This wasn't the Jane he grew up with. This wasn't Detective Jane Rizzoli. This was a broken human being.

"She misses you."

The fork stilled in its act of relocating bites of egg. Frankie was afraid he spoke too soon, but all Jane did was push her hair back with her free hand and clear her throat. "What makes you think I don't miss her too?"

"I never said that. I think that's exactly why you're acting this way. You miss her _too_ much and I don't understand why you aren't doing anything about it."

"Frank, she hates me more than she misses me," Jane said with absolutely no emotion. She put her fork down and pushed the plate away. "I'm not hungry anymore."

"You're never hungry anymore. You don't eat. I've seen what you do on your lunch breaks. You go to your car and you just sit there, staring at the ceiling. That isn't healthy, Jane."

"I get tired, Frankie, just leave it alone."

"That's another thing. You're always tired, too, but you never sleep. You know how I can tell? The circles under your eyes are so dark it looks like you put on eyeshadow upside-down."

Jane gave him a withering look. "You've got the haircut of half a washed-up 80s pop duo."

"Jane." Frankie leaned his elbows on the counter and stared directly into his sister's eyes. "I'm serious. When are you going to talk to Maura?"

"I'm not." Jane messed with her hair some more, pulling it over one shoulder and then the other. "There's nothing I can say to make this okay."

Frankie shrugged. "How about…_I'm sorry_?"

"Yeah, I'm sure that will work," she said with unenthusiastic sarcasm. "'Hey, Maura, sorry I told an FBI agent about your father being back in town. Sorry I was actually stupid enough to believe he'd wait to take action until I told him to. Sorry I shot your father when I'm not even sure he was going to fire again. Sorry that I now have to put your father, whom I nearly killed, in prison for the rest of his life. And I'm sorry all this happened while your mother was laying half-dead in the hospital.'" Jane stared at her brother, sadness and guilt shining equally in her eyes. "You truly think that will work, Frank?"

Frankie considered it for a moment, and then nodded. "Yeah, it should do."

Jane let out a sigh of frustration and rubbed her forehead. "You really don't get it, do you?"

"What's not to get? You did her wrong. You apologize. Eventually, things will go back to normal." Frankie spread his arms wide. "It's as simple as that."

"No, Frankie, it's not that simple." Jane's voice was weak, her tone helpless. "She'll never forgive me. I chose my job over her at exactly the wrong moment. If I had waited just a few more seconds, Doyle would've lowered his gun or Frost would've been the one to fire." She inhaled shakily and dropped her head further, her forehead hovering mere inches from the countertop as she spoke to the floor. "But I didn't wait. And I have to accept the consequences for my decisions."

Frankie sighed. "You've accepted the consequences already. You've been miserable for the past month. Janie…at some point, enough has to be enough. You gotta start making yourself happy again."

"No." Jane raised her head and met Frankie's eyes. As weak as she was feeling, she held his gaze steadily. "I have to start making things right again. I can't let this go any further."

Something in her tone caught the younger Rizzoli's attention. He frowned suspiciously. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean I'm going to form plans, make decisions and accept whatever punishments come my way," Jane answered simply, not moving her gaze from her brother's. "I got through the Internal Affairs investigation because I'm not responsible for Dean getting shot, but I'm done yet. I still need to make up for what I did to Maura, no matter what the cost."

Frankie slowly straightened up and stared down at his sister. "Jane, promise me you won't do anything stupid," he said, a bit of an edge to his voice.

Jane didn't move. "I promise I won't do anything I think is stupid."

"Jane—"

"Frankie." Jane spoke softly as she picked up the plate of eggs and got to her feet, circling the counter and dropping the plate in the sink. "Don't worry about it, okay? Everything's going to be fine."

She headed towards her bedroom, running a hand up and down one arm uneasily. Frankie, after a few moments of quick consideration, called after her: "Why don't I believe you?"

Jane hesitated, and she glanced back at her brother. "Maybe…" She swallowed and pain flashed across her face. "Maybe because I don't really believe it yet, either."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Yet another chapter completed at 3AM! I'm exhausted, but you guys are worth it. I know a lot of you have been wondering what's going to happen to Jane, and I promise, you'll find out within the next couple chapters. Review and stay tuned!

**Disclaimer**: They belong to Tess, Janet and the wonderful people at TNT.

KerraDelvin: I thought the nose flick was necessary; it's definitely something I'd picture Frankie doing! Thank you for reviewing!

ROT: Thank you so, so much! Haha, I'm trying to get a chapter up every day. It's a bit hard, but those are quite some words of encouragement! I hope to hear from you again soon!

LOCISVU: There are definitely more stressful times ahead, but everything will be healed in due time, my friend. Thanks for reviewing!

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><p>It was Thursday of the next week when the side door of the police café opened, causing Angela to look up and freeze in her act of routine day-end organizing. To say she was surprised to see one Dr. Maura Isles making her way to the counter would be an understatement. Though it had been over a month since the medical examiner's break with her daughter, Angela had not seen Maura emerge from her crime lab during regular work hours once in the past five weeks. <em>What in the world…?<em>

Angela quickly collected herself and smiled at Maura as she took a seat in front of the eldest Rizzoli. "Doctor Isles! To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?"

Maura fidgeted in her chair, alternately tugging at her clothes and her hair. "Hello, Angela," she replied. "I…I guess…I got a little bit lonely, I suppose."

After living with her for nearly a year, Angela knew almost every quirk the doctor had. Fidgeting and stuttering weren't any of them. She reached across the counter to place a hand on Maura's, motherly concern etched across her face. "Do you want to talk about it, sweetie?"

For the briefest of seconds, looking into Angela Rizzoli's kind eyes, Maura considered letting it all out. She had seen the date this morning and never felt more alone in her life. It had been thirty-five days since her best friend broke her heart, and the pieces hurt more every day. She missed having somebody to talk to. She missed having someone to run away to. She missed Jane more than she ever thought was possible, and for one overwhelming second, she wanted to tell somebody about it.

But then the moment was gone and she was able to swallow her tears. Bravely, Maura gave Angela a small smile and said, "I just want to forget, right now."

Angela resisted the urge to press the matter further and nodded. "Okay. I understand." She paused and dipped her head to get a better look at Maura's face. "You sure you're gonna be alright, though?"

Maura nodded. "I'm sure," she replied with another twitch of the lips. "I just needed to get away from my office for a bit."

"It must get depressing, sitting in that basement all day," said Angela, partially to herself, and she winced internally when she realized how unhelpful it was.

"A little," Maura agreed quietly. She absentmindedly twisted her fingers around Angela's. "I speak to some of the techs sometimes, and Detective Frost comes down to see me on the occasion, but other than that…" She trailed off with a sigh and her head dropped lower.

Angela bit her lip and thought for a second. "I think I know what might cheer you up," she said. Giving Maura's hand a quick squeeze, she slipped her fingers away and went over to the pastry case.

Maura wiped her eyes quickly when Angela had her back turned. She couldn't afford to lose it now—Homicide had just picked up a new case and she was working hard to complete the routine autopsy procedures by the weekend.

The clacking of the till caused her to look up; Angela was dropping a couple dollar bills into it. The older woman caught her eye and smiled encouragingly. "Don't worry about it, Doctor Isles," she said, reading Maura's mind. "I won't have you being so upset." Closing the register, she picked up the muffin sitting on a napkin next to her and slid it across the counter. "Here. Multigrain chocolate chip. I know you like the healthy stuff, and chocolate is nature's anti-depressant. It's the perfect match."

This time, a genuine smile broke out on Maura's face and her eyes watered again, touched by Angela's consideration. "Thank you," she whispered. "Really."

Angela pulled a napkin out of one of the dispensers and held it out to the doctor. "Anything I can do to help," she said softly.

Maura accepted the napkin gratefully and dabbed her eyes, then picked up the muffin. Angela watched her chew on it for a few moments, silently wishing she could do more. The split between Maura and her daughter had taken its toll on more than just the two of them. When Constance was released from the hospital the week previous, she had returned to the Isles' guest house and immediately knew something was wrong with Maura. The moment she brought it up to Angela, the Rizzoli had quickly deflected the question and postponed the inevitable by telling her that Maura was in the middle of a particularly difficult case and it was tiring her out. The story seemed to convince Constance well enough, but Angela was always on edge whenever she went home.

A motion by the elevator outside the café caught her eye. She glanced away from Maura, and her heart jumped into her throat as she watched Jane cross the lobby while texting, not noticing her former best friend nibbling on one of her mother's muffins just inside her destination.

"Oh…" Angela breathed in apprehension and immediately regretted it. Maura looked up and the older woman glanced down quickly, trying to pretend nothing had happened, but the doctor saw her turn her gaze.

"What is it?" she asked, completely oblivious, and twisted in her seat to see out into the lobby.

"No, Maura—" Angela started to say, but before she could finish Jane looked up, a very few feet outside the café door.

It was like fire, the moment she met Maura's eyes. Jane stopped dead in her tracks, a white-hot ache igniting each one of her nerves as she stared directly into the hazel gaze she had missed so much. She suddenly felt trapped.

It was like ice, the moment she met Jane's eyes. Halting with the muffin halfway to her mouth again, Maura felt like somebody had just dumped a bucket of freezing cold water over her, causing her to tremble from head to foot. She had no idea what to do.

They looked at each other unblinkingly for maybe five seconds, but to both of them it seemed like an eternity. Finally, Jane came to her senses and quickly retreated, hurrying out the front door of the BPD. Maura remained frozen for another few beats, trying to process the sudden sharp pain in her abdomen.

Angela drew a hand up to her face and rubbed her eyes. _You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you, Angela?_

Maura turned around slowly and placed her pastry back onto the counter. "Excuse me, I have some paperwork I need to finish." She rose from her seat without looking at Angela. "Thank you for the muffin."

Words failed the elder Rizzoli as she watched Maura walk rigidly out the side entrance of the café. _Is this ever going to end?_

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><p>Jo Friday jerked her head upwards, listening. A noise had awoken her from her nap, but she didn't know what it was. Was her master home early? Was there an intruder?<p>

The sound of crying coming from the living room caused Jo to scramble to her feet and pad quickly out of her master's bedroom, heading for the sound. She didn't know much about humans, but the one thing she really understood was their emotions. A plethora of doggy conclusions plagued her mind as she rounded the corner past the kitchen, but all those thoughts could be summed up with one human word: _Bad_.

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><p>Jane collapsed the second she stepped into her apartment. Sliding to the floor in front of the door, she drew her legs up into a tight ball and began to sob. <em>Oh, my God, what's happening to me?<em>

She didn't even realize Jo Friday was there until the dog wedged her head between Jane's arm and leg, tongue darting out to lick her master's face, hoping to give her some comfort. Jane uncurled herself and hugged her dog as tightly as she dared, tears streaming into her light brown fur.

"I'm losing it, Jo," she choked out, squeezing her eyes shut when she realized it hurt to talk. "I looked at her today. I saw—I saw her for the first time since…since…since…" Her voice was breaking all over the place as she buried her face into her dog's soft fur. "Dear God, I can't _take_ it anymore! Five weeks, Jo! Five—_five weeks_ without her! Knowing she was there, not being able to _do_ anything about it!"

A large sob stole her breath with a gasp and she dropped Jo Friday, pressing her hands to her face instead. "Oh, my God, what's happened to me? I can't do this anymore. _I can't…freaking…do this!_"

Jo sat at her master's feet, leaning into her as she cried, ignoring how much the human was shaking. Jane needed somebody, and though she was a dog, Jo understood that. She wasn't going to leave her side tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Hello all! I must ask you before you start reading to excuse any careless grammar or spelling mistakes—I edited it myself and for some reason I'm exceptionally tired tonight. So…yeah. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's a little short, but tomorrow's will be pivotal, so stick with me!

Also, does anybody know if/when/how we can vote for stories/authors in the Rizzles Fan Awards? I've seen some great selections up there already!

Lastly—I know a lot of you are worried about Jane possibly hurting herself in this fic. Let me ease your minds by saying that although we have some more mental/emotional hurdles to jump, I'm keeping her as physically healthy as I can. As a character, she has a strong mind and an immense amount of self-control, and I don't believe for a moment that she would resort to hurting herself for any form of relief, no matter how hard it gets. I hope this is reassuring to you all! Thank you for your patience!

**Disclaimer**: They belong to Tess, Janet and the wonderful people at TNT.

LittleSpooky: I hope this eases your mind a little bit! Thanks for reading!

CloisDestiny: I absolutely love Jo Friday and was happy to give her a bit of voice in this fic. Who knows what'll happen if/when she sees Maura again? Thank you for your review!

TheJoker'sBrother: I'm quite worried about what's going to happen in season 3, myself. I hope things will be fixed quickly.

PSGProductions271, AnywhereElse: There's some more Jo in this chapter! Thanks for reading!

prajna: I know. :/ There is a light at the end of the tunnel, though, I promise!

crashnburn1983, likeother: Thank you for reading/reviewing! Hope you like this chapter!

aurorstorm: Aww, thank you so much! Next chapter, we'll finally find out what's going to happen to Jane. Thank you for reading!

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><p>There was a knock at the door. Both Jane and Jo, curled up together on the couch, looked up from their positions. Jane's eyes were red from crying, then sleeping, and Jo Friday's fur was mussed up in odd places where her owner had clutched her tightly over the past few hours. Neither human nor dog made to move off the couch until the knock came again, a little louder this time. Jane eyebrows furrowed. "You order out, Jo?" she asked, still a bit disoriented.<p>

Jo woofed.

"Yeah, me neither."

Jane lifted the dog off her stomach and set her gently to the ground. She swung her legs off the couch with a groan and, rubbing her eyes with one hand, went to pull open the door.

"Hey."

Jane froze the moment she saw Agent Gabriel Dean standing in the hallway outside her apartment, arm in a sling, looking more scraggly than usual. It took her a couple seconds to process what was going on, but as soon as she got it completely, she held up a hand. _This isn't happening right now._

"We're going to try this one more time," she said slowly, staring directly into Dean's eyes. "I'm going to shut the door. Then, I'm going to count to ten. And when I open the door, you aren't going to be there. Ready? Go."

As soon as Jane started to shut him out of her apartment, Dean pushed his good hand up against the wood and held the door open. "Please, Jane. I just want to talk."

"Talk? There's nothing to talk about. What's done is done. We're over, Gabriel. Whatever _this _is"—she gestured vaguely between herself and the agent—"it's not anymore. I can't do it."

Dean sighed heavily. "Jane—"

"No, Dean," she cut him off. "I can't."

She tried to shut the door again, but he leaned in closer and squinted. "Have you been crying?"

"Oh, for the love of—" Jane swiped a hand quickly across her cheeks and nodded. "Yes, Dean, yes. If you must know, I _have _been crying. For the past four hours, now. Jo Friday is very good company. Aren't you, Jo?" she called, looking back into the living room. The dog barked in response. Jane turned back to her unwanted visitor. "See? I don't need anybody else. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

A third time, she attempted to close him out. He got his foot in the door. "Jane."

She gave up and swung it wide open. "Dear God…"

"Look, I just want to know why." Dean's dark eyes searched her face. "I know I violated your trust, but I was just doing my job. You have to understand that."

"I do, Dean, I actually do," Jane said, rubbing her temples in agitation. "As awful of an excuse it is…I really can't blame you."

The agent seemed to be taken aback by this. He frowned. "You…you can't?"

"No, I can't."

Dean's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "Then why haven't you spoken to me in a month?"

"Because you're a living, breathing reminder of all my stupid decisions." Jane sniffed and cleared her throat, determined not to start crying again. "And I would really appreciate it if you'd stop pressing the matter and just go."

Dean stood in silence for a couple moments, just looking at Jane. "You cared for her more than me, didn't you?" he asked softly, almost disappointed.

She pinched her lips together and inhaled shakily. "I did."

Those two words cut through both of them like knives, but neither let it show too much. Dean simply lowered his head and slid his foot away from the doorframe. "Well, then...I guess I can't blame you."

Jane looked up. Dean met her gaze. An unspoken understanding passed between them in that moment—it clearly wasn't meant to be. The agent nodded once, twice, and headed back down the hall.

"Good luck, Jane. With whatever you decide to do."

Slowly, finally, she closed the door and rested her forehead against the cool wood. _That went…so much better than I thought it would._

Jane sighed and, somewhat reluctantly, released the doorknob. "Well, at least something finally went right."

In response, Jo Friday trotted over to the detective and pushed against her ankle. Jane crouched down to Jo's level, running her hand gently along the dog's back. "Yeah, you're okay, too." With another heavy sigh, she glanced over to her refrigerator, where her calendar was taped up, and felt a deep sense of anxiety and anticipation settle into her stomach.

"Just a couple more days, Jo. Then I can start to move on."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **So some of you might hate me after this chapter. … Okay, a lot of you might. But don't hate me for too long, okay? I've got over four thousand words for you, my lovely readers, and it's taken me this long to update because I wanted each and every one of them to be perfect.

In other news, I have to leave my computer behind when my family goes to New Jersey this weekend, so I'm not going to be able to update again until Sunday, at least. I should still be able to read your reviews, though, so let me know what you think! Thank you so much for sticking with me, I seriously love you all! Just one last thing for you to keep in mind:

_"The course of true love never did run smooth."_

Ten points if you know who said it without Google. Happy reading!

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><p>Jane woke up that morning, feeling more rested than she had in weeks. She rolled over, turned off her alarm and stretched, relishing the strain on her muscles. "Jo, where are you?"<p>

From her spot on the floor, Jo Friday lifted her head and, seeing Jane was awake, scrambled to join her on the bed. The detective sat up and wrapped her arms around the dog, holding her tightly. "Today's the day, buddy," she said sadly, but couldn't help a small grin when Jo licked her elbow in reply. "Yeah. You've been good to me. I'll probably miss you most."

* * *

><p>Maura opened her eyes that morning feeling like she had slept under an overpass. Her limbs were aching as she stretched out and realized she was on her couch, still in her clothes from the day previous. She groaned. "Shoot."<p>

A shuffling noise below her caused her to jerk in alarm. She looked down and saw Bass making his way slowly past the couch. With another moan, Maura rubbed her eyes violently and sat up. "Don't ever let me stay up all night again, Bass. No matter how much I need to think."

* * *

><p>Jo Friday followed her master around the apartment as she got ready for work, anxious because something was different about this morning. Jane made sure everything was neat and orderly, inside and out of every room, and once she was dressed, the detective spent a long time leaning over the kitchen counter, writing frantically on a piece of paper. After a good number of minutes just watching her master scribble down who-knows-what, Jo let out a worried whimper and pawed at one of Jane's pant legs.<p>

Jane glanced down. "Oh, Jo." She dropped her pen, feeling a dozen emotions at once, and picked up her faithful dog. "Don't look at me like that. I really have to do this. Tommy will take good care of you until I get back, okay? Yeah?" She kissed the top of Jo Friday's head and hugged her to her chest, letting the tears that welled up in her eyes spill over. "I'm trying, Jo. I really am."

* * *

><p>Bass didn't pay a lick of attention to his owner as she moved about the house almost as slowly as he did, taking her time to pick out just the right outfit and put on the proper amount of makeup, just to make sure she looked like someone who had more than three hours of sleep the night previous. Maura turned to her tortoise after she switched on the coffee maker, anxiously straightening her light blue dress and blazer. "I don't know, Bass. I really don't know."<p>

The tortoise didn't even flinch. Maura gazed anxiously around her kitchen, wringing her hands and wishing she had something to do other than wait for her coffee. "I stayed up all night, thinking about this, why don't I know what to do? Things have become so tense at work…Detective Frost hasn't come to see me in a few days…granted, nothing new has come up in the Hicks case, but it's still highly unusual, given the nature of our relationship nowadays…we would speak about pointless things often, trying to make up for…for Jane…"

The ME stopped pacing and pressed her fingers to her forehead, squeezing her eyes shut. She wasn't one to believe in superstitions, yet she found herself saying, "Maybe it's a sign, Bass. Maybe it's a way of telling me that I _do _need to try and talk to her again. I just…I just have to figure out a way to let go of what happened…"

Maura buried her face in her hands and leaned back against the sink. "God, I'm rambling. I'm so confused, Bass. What should I do?"

No response from the tetrapod. With a sigh, Maura rubbed her tired eyes and pushed her hair off her face. "I'll just see how today goes. And if the timing is right…I'll talk to her."

* * *

><p>Jane walked into the Boston PD with a knot in the pit of her stomach, trying her absolute hardest to make it seem like carrying an old laundry bag up to Homicide look normal. She had taken a cab to work so therefore had no place to store it, but she didn't mind. After today, as petty as the things were in there, that bag and all its contents would be the only things left of what her life used to be.<p>

"Hey, Jane," Frost greeted in passing as she pushed into the bullpen, but stopped and did a double take when he saw the laundry bag. "Um…you pack a lunch for six or are you going undercover as a college student today?"

"Neither, Frost, don't worry about it." Jane shoved the bag under her desk and took a seat, the knot growing bigger by the second. "We have anything else on Martin Hicks' brother-in-law?"

* * *

><p>Maura sat in her office chair, swiveling back and forth gently, tugging on the ends of her hair and biting her lip. She had never felt more distracted in her entire life. <em>She shot my father…but he shot Agent Dean…but Agent Dean shot him…because he's a wanted criminal across the country…and neither of them should have been there in the first place…<em>

This chain of events circled around and around Maura's mind until she realized she was getting into the same rhythm that kept her up the night previous, and she tossed a strand of her hair back off her face, annoyed at herself. "God, I'm even starting to act like her."

The ME dropped her head into her hands and let out a much-needed groan of frustration. "What are you doing, Maura?" she asked herself, slowly running her fingers over her scalp. _When is enough, enough?_

* * *

><p>"Vince, Frost, Rizzoli."<p>

Every muscle in Jane's body seized up when Cavanaugh's voice cut through the bullpen from the direction of the conference room. _Shit_.

She heard Korsak turn around. "What's going on, Sean?"

"You three better get in here. I've got something I need to talk to you about. Where's Frankie?"

"We sent him out on a lead. Do you want me to get him here?"

"No, you can fill him in later. Come on, though. I want to make this quick."

Her insides twisting in four different directions, Jane slowly stood up and followed Frost and Korsak into the conference room. They all took seats near the door while Cavanaugh sat at the head of the table, folding his hands in front of him and looking relatively pleased.

"I just received word from the doctors treating Patrick Doyle. He's progressing normally, even a little faster than they initially expected him to, and they think he'll be ready to go on trial within a month."

A lump formed in Jane's throat. _Oh, Maura._

"So, I just wanted to check in with you three before I brought in the prosecuting attorney, thought I'd see how your testimonials are coming along. You have your facts straight, your stories all set?"

Frost and Korsak nodded in acknowledgement. Jane toyed with her watch, preoccupied with her own mental chant of encouragement. _Maura. Maura. Think about Maura._

"Rizzoli?"

She didn't stop herself. As anxious and afraid as she was, she knew it was the right thing to do. "About the testimonial, Commander Cavanaugh…"

Suddenly there was an edge to Cavanaugh's tone. "What about the testimonial, Rizzoli?"

In the space of about three seconds, Jane thought about everything that had happened to lead her to this decision. Gunshots. Maura terrified. Jane raising her weapon. Doyle falling. Maura crying. _Don't you dare touch him_. Dean waking up. Doyle waking up. Maura not being there. Jane spiraling down, down, down…

With every ounce of confidence left in her, Jane stood up. She looked her commander right in the eye, lifted her badge and her gun off her belt, and placed them both on the table.

"I refuse to testify against Patrick Doyle in his case against the Commonwealth of Massachusetts."

* * *

><p>There was no point in re-measuring the fracture in Martin Hick's skull. Maura just wanted to keep busy. She needed to take her mind off Jane. <em>Just for a little while<em>.

"Dr. Isles?"

She looked up and nodded at one of the crime lab techs, who was standing in the door of the autopsy room. "Peter. Do you need something?"

"Yes, I do." Peter slipped into the autopsy room and made his way over to Maura's table. "Detective Frost up in Homicide told me that you were in possession of the Prozac Martin Hicks was prescribed…apparently some red flags came up in the case and it needs to be processed as soon as possible."

"Of course." Maura pulled off her rubber gloves and went to retrieve the bottle, sitting in a plastic bag on the end of the counter. "It should show up in his bloodstream. He was prescribed to take it for another two weeks after he was killed."

"Yes, it should. We're almost done with the toxicology, so we should have a definite answer by the end of the day."

"Fantastic. Thank you, Peter."

"Not a problem, Doctor."

It was so quick that she almost didn't notice it, but a twitch at the corner of Peter's mouth betrayed sympathy in his feature before he turned to walk back out the door. Maura, surprised, remained at the counter for a few moments. _Was that…pity?_

She moved closer to the door and looked through the glass into the crime lab, determined to observe for a few minutes. She watched Peter walk over to one of his comrades and hand him the bottle, saying a few words and gesturing over his shoulder. The man he was speaking to looked into the autopsy room, a similar amount of sympathy in his expression. His eyes went wide when he met Maura's gaze and he quickly turned away, hurrying to start tests on the Prozac. Maura's brows furrowed together in confusion. "What is wrong with them?" she puzzled aloud.

Confused and successfully distracted, once again, Maura decided to go back to her office and put the red flag down as a side note in her autopsy report, to be detailed later. Sitting down at her chair, she thought for a moment about the techs, wondering if things like that have been going on for a while. _I _have _been quite preoccupied lately…people must have noticed…they can't know about what happened with Doyle, can they?_

With a sigh, Maura decided to leave it alone for now, and opened up the report on her computer. _Let them think what they do. In the end, it's nobody's business but mine._

* * *

><p>"Are you kidding me, Rizzoli?"<p>

Cavanaugh was on his feet, staring at Jane with a mixture of confusion and anger. "You're refusing to testify against Paddy Doyle?"

"Jane," Korsak said, sounding stunned, "Maybe you should think about this—"

"Do you have any idea what the consequences are for this?" The volume of Cavanaugh's voice increased as he stared at his best detective in complete disbelief. "You lose your gun and your badge on the spot, no questions asked! You're looking at a year in federal prison, Rizzoli! Are you out of your _mind_?"

"Jane…" Frost's voice was strained as he stared up at her. "You don't have to—"

Cavanaugh interjected forcefully. "Is this because of Doctor Isles?"

It felt like he had just stabbed her in the side. Jane raised her gaze to meet her commander's, cool defiance sparking in her eyes, masking the waves of pain behind them. "And what if it is, sir?"

Cavanaugh shook his head hard. "You're making a huge mistake, Rizzoli. You let your heart rule your head, and you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life because of it."

The tension in the air thickened as Jane slowly cast her eyes down to the table, where her badge and gun rested. There was a long pause, and then she began to speak, her voice calm and even.

"You know, it's funny…people keep telling me that. My heart rules my head. Hoyt said it, once. He told me it was my 'problem', like it was a burden I can't help but bear." She fingered the badge in front of her and smiled, like she had just figured something out. "But, see…I think it's the exact opposite. My problem is that my head rules my heart…and it's ripped me to shreds. I've given this job almost everything I have because I thought it was everything that I needed. Everything I ever wanted. But now…"

Jane bit her lip as her voice caught for the first time and she swiped her hand quickly under her eye. "Now it's taken Maura from me. This job has destroyed our relationship and won't stop until it has squeezed every last drop of goodness out of me…because that's who she is. She's everything that's good about me. And if I go through with the testimony…I'm going to lose that forever."

Her gaze flicked to Cavanaugh. Everybody was completely silent as she stared directly into her superior's eyes and finished off, confidence dripping from every word she said. "I don't care if you think its wrong, Commander. I think I've finally got my priorities straight. And I'd rather give up my badge and a year's worth of freedom then lose Maura all over again."

Cavanaugh stared at her for a full minute after she ended her speech, simply breathing in and out, watching her. Jane's heart was pounding but she didn't break away from his gaze. _You did it, Jane._

"Vince."

Korsak looked up. "Sean?"

"Call downstairs, have two officers meet us in the lobby with a squad car ready. Don't raise any alarms. I want to do this as civilized as possible."

Korsak nodded and, with one last look at Jane, left the conference room. Through the door they spotted Frankie, returning from his investigation. Cavanaugh turned to Frost. "Frost, go give Frankie an overview of what I just told you and check up on that lead he was following. Whatever you do, just make sure he stays up here."

Frost stood to go, but paused and placed a hand on Jane's arm before he left. He didn't say anything, but to Jane, the gesture was enough. He didn't agree with her, but he wasn't going to turn his back on her, either.

Once it was just the two of them, Cavanaugh looked back at Jane. "You know the drill, Rizzoli. You have until two days before the trial to come to your senses and testify."

Jane nodded. "Don't count on it, sir."

Cavanaugh took a deep breath and thought for a moment before he opened his mouth again. "You're the best detective here, Rizzoli, and I hate to lose you this way. So here's the deal—you decide to take the deadline and come to court, and I'll give you your badge back. Internal Affairs can be on my ass as much as they like, but bottom line is you'd be doing the right thing after getting punished for nothing."

Despite all he said before, Jane was honestly touched. "Thank you, Commander. There's just…one more thing, sir."

He waited. Jane took a deep breath, and said firmly, "Don't tell Dr. Isles. If she really never wants to see me again, this is just another way of fulfilling that. Please…don't let anybody tell her."

The lines on Cavanaugh's forehead creased. "You do know she'll find out eventually, right?"

Jane nodded. "But not just yet."

* * *

><p>Though she wasn't being restrained or led, people still stopped, stared, and wondered. Why was the great Detective Jane Rizzoli being escorted out of the building by two officers and her commander? What had she done? Where was she going?<p>

Ignoring all the mutters breaking out across the lobby, Jane walked on. She didn't hold her head high, yet she didn't let it hang in defeat. She stared straight ahead, facing the future with as much dignity as she could muster.

When they were only a few steps away from the exit, however, a series of yells and loud _thud_-ing noises coming from the stairwell distracted everybody, and the uniform on Jane's left put out an arm to stop her. She turned with the mass and the lobby fell quiet, everyone listening for the offenders' voices.

"_Get back here, man, don't do this!"_

"_Get the hell off me!"_

"_You don't want to do this, Frankie, don't do this!"_

Jane hardly had time to register her brother's name when said Rizzoli slammed the stairwell door open and ran straight at her, fury etched in every inch of his face. Frost emerged only a beat or two behind and, lunging forward, successfully grabbed Frankie's arms and hauled him backwards before he could reach Jane. The younger Rizzoli struggled against the detective's grip, his face red, his eyes shining with tears.

"You promised you wouldn't do anything stupid!" he screamed, his voice distorted with rage. _"You swore, Jane!"_

"Hey, hey, _hey, _Frankie!" Frost yelled over him, tightening his grip.

"Shut the hell up, Frost, and let me _talk_"—Frankie tried to jerk one arm out of Frost's grasp—"my sister out of making the worst decision of her _life!_"

"No, _you_ shut the hell up before I arrest you for attempted assault on my partner!"

"You can't do that!"

Frost lowered his voice to a frightening octave. "_Try me._"

The entire lobby had fallen silent. The door to the café was open and everywhere one looked, people were staring. Jane silently thanked God that her mother had taken a long weekend to look after Constance. Head and heart racing, she took a step towards her infuriated brother.

"Frankie."

He glared at her. She searched his face for any trace of forgiveness, any trace of regret. Nothing. Just pure, unequivocal anger. Jane swallowed, hard, and whispered, "Please."

He stared at her for a long time before, finally, he shook his head in defeat. "You know what? Screw this."

Jane hadn't expected the support of her brother when the time came, but it didn't make his rejection hurt less. "Frankie…"

"No. I'm done, Jane. I can't. I just…I can't." Carefully, Frankie shrugged out of Frost's grasp and, under the detective's close watch, made his way to the elevator, running both hands through his hair in frustration.

As if words were solid, Jane's chest began to ache when she bit her tongue and swallowed all she wanted to call out after him. She watched him leave with Frost and it felt like everything was coming apart. She didn't want to think anymore. She didn't want to feel. She just wanted to leave.

"Rizzoli?"

Jane didn't even look up at her commander. "I just want to go."

And a minute later, she was gone.

Cavanaugh turned away from the door, one hand on his side, the other pinching the bridge of his nose in deep frustration. Nobody in the lobby or the café moved. Slowly, the commander looked up, and began to speak.

"I don't care if you're not in my department," he said, his voice low and his eyes sparking with danger. "I swear to God, if this gets leaked to the press, I will hunt down whomever's responsible and they will be stripped of any title they have. That's both a promise and an order." He stared around the lobby, making sure to make eye contact with every person in his sight. "I'm sure I can trust you all to not speak of what just happened, here or outside of the building. We're law enforcement, God dammit, not a bunch of gossipy schoolgirls."

The air was thick with tension as Cavanaugh rubbed his forehead furiously, everybody else too nervous to move. When the commander glanced up again, spines stiffened, and he noticed. "Back to work," he muttered, and stalked off towards the elevator.

Slowly, people began to move again. There was no post-drama buzz of whispered discussions and speculations—Cavanaugh had successfully scared everybody into submission.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Doc."<p>

Maura looked up in surprise when she heard Frost's greeting from the doorway. "Detective Frost. I was wondering when I'd see you again."

"Yeah…Cavanaugh's riding us hard on this case, he wants it closed as soon as possible, so we can start to focus on—other things…"

Frost leaned against the counter in his usual spot and rubbed both hand over his face, clearly stressed. "It's rough up there, and things are going to get worse before they get better."

Maura put down the tweezers she was washing and faced Frost, her expression unchanging. "I assume that by 'other things', you meant the trial against my father. You must have heard something."

Frost lowered his hands and sighed, sounding defeated. "He could be ready in about three weeks."

A silence fell. Maura stared at the detective for only a few more seconds, and then went back to her instruments. She didn't have anything to say. _My father is going to prison, and it's on her hands._

"Maura."

She glanced up. Frost's eyes were full of regret and honesty. "You have no idea how much I wish it was me who pulled the trigger."

Maura's stomach suddenly jumped into her throat and she swallowed, hard. "As much as I like you, Barry…I wish it was you, too."

The two of them simply looked at each other, acknowledging their mutual wish for a different past, and both jumped a little bit when the door to the autopsy room opened again. "I have the tox report on the Hicks case that you wanted, Detective Frost," one of the lab techs said as she came, holding out a manila folder. "Negative for everything, even the prescription drugs you had us test, nothing in his blood stream."

Frost, quickly getting back into focus, took the folder and opened it. His brows furrowed as he scanned the papers inside. "That's weird, considering he was supposedly on one-a-day Prozac…"

Maura, however, had been jerked out of the trance for a completely different reason. She didn't hear anything past the tech's first sentence, and was staring at Frost in pure confusion. "Wait, the tox report that _you _wanted? I thought Jane was lead investigator on this case."

There was an extremely pregnant pause, in which Maura watched Frost's facial expression shift dramatically as he attempted to come up with a reasonable response. "Well…" He cleared his throat and began stumbling over his words. "I took…I mean, Jane wanted me to…and then Cavanaugh, he said…"

Maura's stomach dropped from her throat to the floor. "Cavanaugh pulled her off the case?"

The muscles in Frost's jaw were working furiously, and he settled against the counter in what he hoped was a casual manner. "Um…not exactly, but…"

That statement, along with a few suddenly important details from their conversation beforehand, was enough to convince the ME that something was very, very wrong. With one last horrified look at Frost, Maura was out the door and heading for the stairs, already calling her former friend's name. "Jane!"

Frost, who had to double back when he realized he forgot the toxicology report, ran out after Maura, but when he realized she was already four flights ahead, he opted for the elevator. "_Dammit!_"

She had lost her shoes somewhere between the first and second floor, but that didn't slow her down one bit. Everything that Frost's face had shown her, everything that the tone of his voice told her, ran through Maura's head as she sprinted up the stairs, paying no heed to the scratched tile underfoot. Fear. Anguish. Sadness. Regret. Secrets. _Why did he lie to me?_

Maura pushed open the heavy metal door to the third floor and ran towards Homicide as fast as she could. "Jane!"

People stopped dead in their tracks to watch the Chief Medical Examiner of Massachusetts barrel across the third floor of the BPD at top speed. Whispers broke out almost immediately and, as a barefoot Maura Isles slammed into Homicide, the topic of Jane Rizzoli's arrest was discussed openly for the first time all week. The doctor, the only person Jane herself had requested to be kept in the dark completely, had just figured out the truth.

* * *

><p>It was Monday morning, and Jane's world was changing at the speed of light.<p>

"Detective Rizzoli—"

"I'm not a detective anymore."

The officer in the driver's seat glanced back at her in apprehension, then to his partner, and finally shut off the car. "We're here."

* * *

><p>It was Friday afternoon, and Maura's world was crashing down around her.<p>

"Where is she?" she demanded, breathing heavily, staring hard at Korsak.

The sergeant, looking completely stunned, opened and closed his mouth a few times before his gaze flicked to someone behind Maura. The ME spun around immediately and came face-to-face with Frost, who had just rushed into the bullpen. Her hazel eyes snapped as she glared at him, and he visibly shrunk under her gaze. Slowly, carefully, Maura swallowed the fear welling up inside her and choked out two simple words.

"Where's Jane?"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Okay, so all of your crazy mind-power negative energy whatever-the-heck you were thinking about the last chapter must've gathered together somewhere in the stratosphere, swooped back down to Earth, and broken down my mum's van, preventing us from getting down to New Jersey. I'm a bit disappointed, but I suppose it's okay. It means I'll be able to ease some of your minds early! … Or not. Well, however you feel about this chapter, let me know! If you're on the site, I'll reply via PM any questions you may have. Even if you aren't on the site, you can still leave a review, and I'll reply just the same!

P.S. Y'all have got to stop dying because of this story. Detective Rizzoli's gonna be peeved if she gets wind of this. And I live near Boston, so all the easier it'll be for her to find me! XD Happy reading!

bigbiz 2009: Merci beaucoup! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Mo Phillips: Thank you so much! I'm glad to have you on board!

Kk: I'm pleased to know that you loved it! Thank you for reading! :)

Andrea: Here's the next one, a bit early! Hope you like it!

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><p>Maura stared at the scratches on the bar at the Dirty Robber, lost in her thoughts, not really seeing them at all. She had come here directly from work—mostly because she didn't want to be alone after everything that happened earlier. The availability of alcohol added a certain appeal to the place, as well.<p>

"Another one for you, ma'am?"

Startled out of her trance, Maura looked up and realized the bottle she had been fingering was empty. "Yes, please."

The bartender studied her vacant expression for a couple moments before he decided it wasn't his business and went away to retrieve her drink. Maura rotated the drained bottle in her hand and read the label without interest. It was Jane's beer; she had ordered it without thinking, without caring. Her index finger traced the name slowly as she reflected on this fact. _Damn, I'm without a lot of things today._

A full beer appeared in front of her. She opened it with a nod at the bartender and took a long swig, acknowledging how different it tasted from her preferred wine. _Not bad, just…different._

Somebody sat down next to her. She glanced over, and upon seeing who it was, her insides clenched and compelled her to look away. She did so, straightening her spine and gripping her beer tighter. "You have some nerve coming to speak to me, Sergeant Detective Korsak," she said in a low voice.

"I know I do." The man got the bartender's attention and placed his drink order, then turned back to the ME. "You can call me Vince in here, you know."

"I don't think so, Sergeant Detective." Maura took another long drink and winced a little as the liquid worked its way around an air bubble in her throat. "Damn, that hurts."

Korsak pondered his response for a second. "Not just the beer, though, is it?"

The hand that had been slowly rotating the bottle stilled and Maura cleared her throat. "No, it's not," she replied cautiously, still not looking at him.

Cheers rang out from every corner of the bar as the Red Sox scored another run on the flat screen. The bartender brought Korsak his drink and the sergeant watched the game for a minute, disinterested for once, thinking instead about what he should say next.

"Listen, Doc…I'm sorry we didn't tell you about Jane, but…Cavanaugh made us promise not to say anything."

"Did he, now?" Maura finished off her second beer and waved for another, her expression growing tighter by the minute.

"Not just us, though," Korsak said quickly. "Everybody. He said he'd have our jobs if word got out."

Maura let out an indignant huff. "So telling me was like telling the press; is that what you're saying, Sergeant Detective?"

"No, I—"

"Wait, I've got a better one. I'm not legally a part of this case, anymore, and that's why I had to be kept out of the loop. Jane refuses to testify because of me, gets thrown into prison and because the law says I'm not involved…I'm not involved." Shooting Korsak a withering stare, Maura picked up her bag and began fishing around it for money. She was done. "I get it, Sergeant. Just leave me alone."

"Maura—"

She jerked her gaze up when he grabbed her wrist and stared her right in the eye, apologies written on every inch of his face. "Cavanaugh also told us…Jane specifically requested you not be told the truth."

It felt like somebody had punched her in the stomach. Maura's eyes brimmed with tears of fury as she processed the information. "Did she really think I wouldn't find out, eventually?"

Korsak shook his head. "I don't know. He didn't elaborate." He looked at Maura with as much honesty and truthfulness as he could muster. "But I'm sure it's because she didn't want you to feel this hurt."

Maura pinched her lips together. _Of course she didn't,_ she thought cynically. "Yes, well, look at all the good her good intentions have caused." Pulling her arm roughly out of Korsak's grasp, she dropped a few bills on the counter and grabbed the third, unopened beer bottle in front of her. "I will see you on Monday, Sergeant Detective," she said curtly and headed for the exit without another word.

"Doc—" Korsak tried to call after her, but the door slammed and she was gone. He stared after her for a few moments, and then turned back to the counter, shaking his head. "I really need to work on my deliverance."

* * *

><p>It took Maura four tries to unlock the front door to her house, she was shaking so badly. Heedlessly dropping her bag and her shoes in the foyer, she stumbled into the living room and nearly tripped over Bass, who was lounging by the coffee table. "God dammit…" she growled through gritted teeth as she hopped around the tortoise and collapsed onto the couch, still clutching the unopened beer in one hand.<p>

_Jane is in prison. Everybody knew but me. It's because of me she's there in the first place. She refused to testify against Doyle. She gave up her badge. She gave up her freedom. She didn't want anybody to tell me. She didn't want me to know._

So many feelings raged through Maura all at once, causing her to practically vibrate with emotion. Barely caring, she set the beer down on the floor before she broke it, and dropped her head into her trembling hands. "My God, Bass," she whispered, finger nails digging into her forehead. "Jane is in _prison._"

The tears spilled over now, hot and angry. Maura Isles, her heart breaking into a million pieces, cried with complete abandon and didn't stop until she fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **This is where our story takes an interesting turn. I've never been to jail, save a D.A.R.E. field trip in 6th grade, giving me a bit of wiggle room in terms of what I have happen to dear Janie. Bear with me, okay? Let me know how I'm doing!

Also, I've been getting a lot of mixed reviews about Maura and what she's done as far as Jane's imprisonment goes. I'm trying to make these characters as canon as possible, and Maura Isles is a thinker. All kinds of emotions were stirred up when she finally found out about Jane, and she just needed to take a step back from reality and analyze everything that was going on before she could even consider moving forward. Hence, a short stay at the Dirty Robber. Next chapter will pick up right where we left her, and somebody's coming by to smack some sense into her (not literally!). We'll be seeing her with her LLBFF soon. But for now, I've got a brand new character coming in to kind of fill a void for Jane. I hope you like him!

TheJoker'sBrother: It's good to hear from you again! I really love Frost/Maura interactions, I wish they were more canon. Thank you so much!

jaymrfd: We've definitely got a couple of each coming up. Thanks for reading!

dallas: Here's a longer chapter! Hopefully I can update more quickly next time!

Happy reading, all!

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><p>It was all procedural. Jane watched herself go through the motions like she wasn't part of her body anymore—just a tile in the ceiling. The confiscation and search of her laundry bag. The full-body examination. Recieving the orange jumpsuit and a spare. Being cuffed and led down a hall, through a door, down another hall by a silent guard. Painfully alone. Imprisoned.<p>

"Here, Detective."

The clanging of a large metal door behind her brought her crashing back down to Earth. She looked up at the guard. "I'm not a detective anymore."

He ignored her and tugged her forward without another word. Jane sighed internally and glanced around at the room they had just entered. It was tall and circular, about as big as her apartment, with cells lining the walls around it. To her right was a thick window next to a glass door, through which she saw a second guard standing just outside and five men in suits like hers playing wallball in a concrete enclosure.

"This is it."

Jane turned forward and found herself face-to-face with iron bars. Her stomach clenched when the guard reached around her and unlocked the door, pulling it open. "Your belongings that passed inspection will be here after dinner, which is in an hour. Yard time ends in a few minutes. Would you rather go out or get settled?"

A couple steps inside her new cell now, Jane turned around and stared suspiciously at the guard. "You're being really civil for somebody who keeps felons in check all day."

He jerked his head. "Non-violent offenders stay in this ward. I've the day shift. Not much to do but make conversation." One eyebrow went up. "Would you rather I treat you like a killer?"

Jane studied him for a moment. "No, I wouldn't."

The guard nodded. "Right, then."

He took a step back and brought the door with him, locking Jane in the cell. Then he gestured towards her hands. Understanding, Jane held them up so he could unlock her cuffs through the door. "Don't hurt as much as I thought they would," she said once the cuffs were off, rubbing her wrists absentmindedly.

"They usually go easy on cases like you," the guard said, clipping the cuffs onto his belt. He stuck one hand out, not quite touching the bars. "Steve."

Jane hesitated before sliding her thin digits through the cold metal rods to grasp his. "Jane."

Steve dropped her hand almost immediately after shaking and retreated. "There's nothing fun about jail, Detective. Keep that in mind as your two-day leeway comes around."

"I'm not a detective."

"Whatever you say."

He said it with such sarcasm that Jane opened her mouth to snap a retort, but he was already out of sight. She heard him knock on the glass door and speak to the guard on the other side. With a sigh, Jane turned her back to the bars cutting her off from the outside world and studied her new home.

It was quite a simple area. About five feet wide and nine feet deep, the cell contained a bed, a small table, and a toilet fixture below a single barred window. A shelf was nailed to the wall just inside the door and another was above the table. The bed itself looked relatively clean, but Jane knew it would take a fair few days to get used to whatever crawling feeling it was bound to give her.

The light clamor of voices coming into the ward caused Jane to jump and look around for a place to hide, suddenly aware of how small the space was. Feeling a little ridiculous, she settled for sitting on the bed with her back to the cell door, as close to the foot as she could be. _Pull yourself together, Rizzoli, and face this like a cop._

Jane rubbed her face vigorously, as if trying to scrub away the memory of her badge resting on the conference room table. _God DAMMIT._

The next hour passed slowly. Jane lay on her new bed and stared at the ceiling, wishing she could stop thinking. She cycled through people's possible reactions to her imprisonment, seeing each of them in her mind. Tommy…he's probably the first person Frankie went to. There'd be a lot of punching and throwing inanimate objects, Jane was sure. Her mother…_Jesus, Ma…_Jane threw an arm over her eyes and let out a groan. She would cry for a week, maybe longer. Just like when Tommy was arrested.

And then, there was her.

_Maura._

"Ugh, _no! _Nope. Jane, you're _not _thinking of her right now."

She pulled the flat pillow out from under her head and dropped it over her face, digging in with the heels of her hands. "She's out of your life. You're in here, she's out there. Just…stop."

"Talking to yourself already?"

Jane jumped and looked around wildly. It sounded like the voice was right next to her, but she was quite alone in the cell. "What?" she replied sharply, not sure where to face.

A chuckle startled her again. "These walls are strong, but thin. I'm in the cell between you and the rec box."

Jane tucked the pillow back beneath her head. Somewhat baffled, she turned onto her side, her nose inches from the wall. The man on the other side sounded rough, but kind. Probably mid-sixties. "Yeah, and?"

"Just thought I'd see what's going on. You're too new to already be going crazy, and too young, by the sounds of it."

Jane could see absolutely no point in the conversation with a disembodied voice, but she wasn't about to give up on a good time-killing technique. "It's nothing. Never mind. Who are you?"

She heard somebody move on the other side of the wall. "Benjamin Waters. Folks call me Benji. Who're _you_?"

"Jane." She paused. "Jane Rizzoli."

"No kidding? Like…_Detective _Jane Rizzoli?"

Jane swallowed, hard, and felt her stomach sink. "Not anymore. But thanks for reminding me."

"Oh. I shoulda known. Seeing as you're here instead of out catching killers…" Benji trailed off and seemed to come to his senses. "You have to forgive the old boy. Not much of a filter between my mind and my mouth anymore."

Taking a deep breath, Jane tried to let go of her pride. "It's okay…I suppose."

"Thanks."

Silence fell on both sides of the wall. Jane stared at a crack in the cement, puzzling. _Well, if I'm going to be here a while…may as well make some friends._

"I should warn you about dinner, Detective—"

"I'm not a detective." It was swiftly becoming a reflex.

"Sorry. Avoid the carrots and eat the chicken slowly. Everything else is okay, provided you don't eat too much."

"I'll take your word for it."

"As you should."

Jane frowned at the wall. "How long have you been here…Benji?"

"Four months next week."

All of a sudden, it felt like somebody had just shoved their hand down her throat. Panic settled into Jane's chest and she suddenly couldn't breathe. _Four months…that's a long time…_She swallowed painfully. _Dear God, I'm here for twelve._

The opening of the large metal door to the hallway startled her into a sitting position. Heart pounding in her ears, Jane forced her emotions down and took a couple deep breaths before she realized Benji had said something else to her. "What'd you say?"

"I said, eat dinner with me and I'll introduce you to good people." Keys jangled out of sight. Jane heard Benji stand up. "See you in a moment, Detective."

Jane inhaled slowly and tipped her head upwards, closing her eyes. _Calm down. You're doing fine. You're talking. You're living, you're breathing, you're functioning. You can do this._

"Detective."

She opened her eyes and looked to the door, where Steve stood with the keys. He raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you coming?"

Jane nodded once, twice before getting to her feet. Brushing some invisible dust off her jumpsuit, she muttered as she approached the bars, "I'm not a detective anymore."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **I like this chapter. A lot. It's my favorite so far. It gave me Rizzles-fuzzies, and I hope it does the same for you. :)

Kate: Ask and ye shall receive…:)

Yukio: That shall be explained next chapter. Thanks for reviewing!

Happy reading, all!

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><p>Constance Isles slipped into her daughter's kitchen, not minding any noise the door made at all, thinking Maura was asleep several rooms over. She crossed in front of the refrigerator and opened the first cabinet. <em>Spice rack, spice rack…where was it, again?<em>

A noise from the living room startled her and she spun around, hand over her heart. A figure slowly sat up on the couch and Constance stepped forward cautiously, nervous to see who it was. Her eyes went wide when she realized it was none other than her own daughter.

"Maura?"

Maura, feeling quite groggy, mumbled incomprehensively as she stretched out her sore limbs. Constance made her way around the counter, not taking her eyes off her. "What on Earth are you doing out here?"

Through narrowed eyes, Maura turned her head one way, then the other. "Apparently, it's a habit of mine." Blinking rapidly, she peered up at her mother. "Why are you here, Mom?"

"Angela is cooking up a storm over there and she ran out of oregano, so I volunteered to come and look…my dear…" Constance sat down next to Maura and laid a hand on her shoulder. The ME's eyes were swollen and red, too much to be from sleep alone. "Have you been crying?"

Maura sniffed and noticed she couldn't breathe well through her nose. "Nasal congestion due to secretion from the lacrimal gland into the nasal passage, causing swelling…and…" She trailed off and simply settled for nodding at the floor.

Constance reached up and delicately tucked a strand of hair behind Maura's ear. "What's wrong, darling?"

Maura took a deep breath and kept her eyes cast down. She didn't want to say it out loud. "I heard some terrible news yesterday."

"About what?" Constance's voice lowered with concern. "Is it Patrick? Is he alright?"

"Yes, Mom, he's fine." _For now_. Maura cleared her throat and mentally rallied herself. "It's about…it's about Jane."

Like she had been struck, Constance pulled her hand away from her daughter and clenched it in her lap. "Oh, dear."

Maura looked up in surprise when she heard the anxiety in the older woman's voice. She didn't sound shocked at all, simply…apprehensive. Realizing her mother knew more than she had let on, Maura suddenly felt more alone than ever. "You knew as well?"

Cautiously, Constance raised her eyes to meet Maura's. "Angela has hardly stopped crying all week." She spoke slowly, carefully. "I considered asking her if you knew sometime around Tuesday, but she was never in a good place to talk. This morning I found her in the kitchen before the sun was up, baking like a madwoman. She seemed to have calmed down considerably, but I felt it was still too soon to bring it up."

"So everybody knew but me?"

Constance's mouth snapped shut. Maura, too offended to know what to do, pushed herself up off the couch and began to pace, twisting her fingers together. "Is this my punishment? Am I"—she shook out her hands rapidly, as if trying to dry them out—"am I being penalized for how I reacted?"

Her mother reached out for her. "Maura, none of this is a punishment—"

"Well, it feels like it." Maura shoved a hand into her hair and stared at the ceiling. "God…I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I shouldn't have pushed her away, shouldn't have told her no…"

"You didn't overreact, darling; she had just shot your father!"

"No, Mom!" Tears stinging her eyes, Maura whipped around to stare at Constance. "No, she didn't. I can't keep thinking of Doyle that way. If I do…" She attempted to swallow the lump in her throat. "I'm never going to be able to forgive her."

Silence fell. Constance stared at Maura, and Maura stared at the floor. The older Isles thought hard before she spoke again. "So you want to forgive her?"

"More than you know."

More silence. Constance looked her daughter up and down. She saw her slumped shoulders, her puffy eyes, her shaking hands…

Her broken heart.

"You love her, don't you?"

Her mother's soft question caused her heart to jump into her throat. Maura inhaled shakily, turned away from Constance and crossed her arms protectively over herself. She was shaking from the inside out. Forcefully, she opened her mouth. "More than you can imagine."

"Then what are you doing here?"

This caught Maura off-guard. She turned around and looked at Constance with pure confusion. "What?"

"You say you love her more than I can imagine. So why are you here telling me when you should be on your way to the prison, telling her?"

Maura shut her eyes and shook her head. "Mom—"

"Maura, dear, please listen to me." Constance patted the couch next to her. Maura looked at the spot and, cautiously, lowered herself to her mother's side. Constance took her hand in both of hers and looked her right in the eye. "Patrick will be imprisoned whether Jane testifies in court or not. It was a grand, _grand_ gesture for her to give up what she did, when she did. But it was for nothing." She hesitated. "Nothing…except you."

Maura jerked her gaze upwards. Shocked realization shone with fresh tears in her eyes. Constance smiled and squeezed her daughter's fingers. "She loves you, Maura. More than you can imagine. Now, you're not going to give that up, are you?"

It felt like all of her nerves were suddenly on fire. _She loves me. Dear Lord, she loves me. _Maura shook her head and brought a hand up to her mouth as the tears began to flow freely. "Oh my God, I'm so stupid," she choked out, feeling humiliated. _How could I be so blind?_

"You're not stupid, dear!" Constance pulled the tearful woman into her arms and rubbed her back soothingly. "Oh, darling, so much happened to you at once that it was just too hard to take it all in. You're a thinker, Maura, but your emotions got in the way of it this time. And that's okay, truly!"

Maura pulled back a little bit to meet her mother's eyes. "How can it be okay?"

Another smile tugged at the older woman's lips. "Because you're human. Human beings make mistakes. If we were perfect…well…the world would be quite boring, wouldn't it?"

Maura took in a shaky breath, then nodded. Constance rubbed her back once more and ducked her head to see her daughter's face. "You know what to do now, don't you?"

Pause. Maura stared at the floor, thinking about Jane and everything that had happened between them. She thought about what it felt like when Jane shot Doyle. She thought about what it felt like when she heard Jane was in prison. So much pain and sadness filled her chest and took her breath away…but suddenly, she knew. She knew what she wanted. _I want her here with me. I don't know anything else but that. I can figure what to say later. Right now, I have to just…do._

"I want her here."

"Then go get her."

With her mother's blessing, Maura stood and headed straight for the front door. She didn't care that she was in yesterday's clothes or that she had no makeup on. Those things could be fixed later. This had to be fixed now.

_I'm coming, Jane._


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **I'm so, so sorry for the wait, guys! Real life got in the way, big time. I'm working twice as hard at getting the next chapter up already!

Speaking of the next chapter, I know y'all are dying to see Jane and Maura speak for the first time since the shooting, and we will be seeing that next update! However, I should warn you: it's not going to be easy for either of them. This isn't a ripping-the-bandaid kind of situation; it's more of a…cutting-the-stitches event. It will take a little time and a lot of talking for them to get back to a good place, but I can tell you know, a few ground-breaking things will be said in chapter 11. Anxious? I know I am! Please review, let me know how I'm doing!

bigbiz 2009: Oh, don't hate Maura too much! She's coming to talk to Jane as we speak!

Happy reading, all!

* * *

><p>"So I forgot to ask you before…" Jane started, reaching out to catch the tennis ball as it bounced towards her. "What am I doing here, exactly? Well, not in prison. I mean, I know why I'm here, just not why I'm—" she stepped to the side to avoid being hit by the ball rebounding—"<em>here<em> here."

"Yeah, we were wondering why you didn't ask before," Benji replied. He caught the ball and glanced at her curiously. "It was the first thing Lydia said to any of us."

It was Saturday afternoon. Jane had talked herself into participating in wallball during yard time, telling herself it was good exercise and an acceptable change of scenery. She had met her fellow inmates at dinner on Monday and had to admit, she didn't hate any of them yet. There were Paul and Trevor, both in their twenties, arrested the same day for second offense reckless driving. Simon, a tall man who looked like he should be wearing a suit and tie, was halfway through his sentence for money laundering. The three of them had formed sort of an odd bond over time and were quite enthusiastically trying to knock each other out of the game.

"Lydia?" Jane puzzled as she stretched upwards to make an impressive catch. "Who's Lydia?"

Leon, about Jane's age and stocky, incarcerated for credit card theft, was the one who replied. "You know how people are, here in Mass, always looking for the next big change? Well, they're experimenting with prison integration, one person at a time. Lydia was the first girl they had go through here. Left about two months ago."

"What was she in for?"

"Never found out. Unsociable as they come." He bounced the ball hard off the wall and it hit Trevor, who lunged forward as Paul and Simon scrambled to knock him out.

"Oh." Jane fell silent, thinking. Benji glanced over at her. He didn't look as old as he sounded—age had done him well. Keeping up with the others when it came to their daily game was never a problem for him. He continued to keep one eye on the ball as he pondered his next statement.

"So, Detective…you've asked all of us what we're here for…why don't you tell us what got you into this position?"

Jane looked up, confusion covering up the anxiety in her eyes. "You never told me what you did, Benji."

Benji smiled humorlessly and snagged the ball when it came towards him. "Contempt of court," he replied, and tossed it away. "My daughter-in-law was going on trial for second-degree murder."

_Holy…wow. _Jane's eyes went wide. "What happened?" she asked before she could stop herself.

With a shake of his head, Benji continued. "Nah, I don't really wanna talk about it. Point is, about a week before the trial, I told them I wasn't going to testify. Stood firm straight through the two-day allowance—not that I had much time to change my mind—and here I am, about a quarter way through my sentence."

Slightly stunned, Jane blinked a few times before responding. "Wow, um…did she get off, or was she convicted?"

Benji laughed. "Oh, she's locked up somewhere, for sure. She was going away with or without my help. It's the principle of the thing, though, y'know?"

_Yeah…yeah, I guess is…_

A thought started to grow inside of Jane. _A year in prison…that's a heavy price to pay for a lost cause…_She pressed her fingers to her forehead and stepped to the side, hoping to avoid the tennis ball. _Benji made the same decision I did. He refused to testify because he was close to the case, but the outcome was meant to be. _Pinching the bridge of her nose, she closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. _Maura aside…was this an extremely stupid decision?_

"Detective?"

Jane came back to reality with a jerk and her mouth started moving on its own. "Yeah, how I got here…" She ran a hand over her neck. "Well, I'm not a detective anymore, and…um…well, long story short—my best friend is the biological daughter of an Irish mob boss. He showed up during one of our entrapment assignments, and I took him down after he shot a federal agent. My friend—er…Maura's her name—hasn't spoken to me since, and once we got word that her father was going to recover fully, I told my commander I couldn't testify against him in court." Bobbing her head, Jane quickly ran over the list of events she had just rattled off. "Yep, that's basically it."

It was suddenly very quiet in the enclosure. Jane looked around and realized that all five men were looking at her with different degrees of astonishment. She felt her stomach squeeze and took a small step back. "What?"

Benji shook his head. "It's just…unbelievable, that's all. Did you lose your badge?"

Jane nodded slowly. "Hence why I keep telling you I'm not a detective anymore."

"Of course."

There was another pause, and then Simon spoke up. "You're here because of your best friend?"

"No!" Jane replied quickly, holding a hand up. "I'm here _for_ my best friend. Well…not _for _Maura, exactly, it's just…" Realizing she was at a loss for words, she waved her hand dismissively. "You know what, never mind. The point is I made a really, really bad decision, and here I am, accepting the consequences."

"Detective?"

Biting her lip, Jane swung around to face the open door. "Steve. _Please_. Stop calling me 'Detective'."

He ignored her and continued. "Somebody's here to see you."

_What? _"Really? Who?"

Steve shrugged. "I dunno, but they asked for you by your full title, _Detective_."

_Detective. Frost, or Korsak, maybe? _"Man or woman?" she asked curiously as she approached the door, slightly perplexed.

Steve pulled his head inside the cell block and, through the glass, Jane saw him repeat her question to a second guard. The guard seemed to take his time answering, and she was already a little impatient when Steve looked back out.

"Woman. Real pretty, he said. Blond, kinda short, dressed real nice? You know her?"

Using the phrase "scared to death" to describe how Jane felt at that moment would be a dramatic understatement. She suddenly understood what people meant when they say they saw their lives flash before their eyes. Features frozen, she spun around to face her fellow inmates, and opened and closed her mouth a couple times before the words finally came.

"Oh my God," she choked out. "It's _Maura_."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **And now, the moment we've all been waiting for…

* * *

><p>Maura wasn't sure what she was feeling. Somewhere in transit between her house and the prison, all her emotions flew out the window and left her feeling numb, empty. After mechanically requesting to see Detective Jane Rizzoli, she handed over her purse and stood still for inspection before being led into the visitor's area by a silent guard.<p>

_This isn't right._

As she sat down in a cubicle and set her bag on the tabletop in front of her, Maura took in the room around her. She was in a line of partitions, separated on three sides by windows of glass. On the other side of the room, she could see a door, with prisoners and guards passing through sparsely. To her right was a telephone, connected by a wire to an identical one in the cubicle directly across from her. She looked at the black cord running under the glass and sighed deeply. The emptiness in her stomach was growing by the second. "What am I going to say to you?"

* * *

><p>Jane was practically vibrating as she followed Steve through the concrete prison hallways. All of her senses felt like they were on hyperalert, making her acutely aware of her surroundings and ready to react at the drop of a dime. She was never this nervous or on edge when it came to cases, not even during the few high-risk undercover missions she was sent on.<p>

"Something wrong, Detective?"

She glanced up to see the sideways look Steve was giving her. "No, I'm fine," she muttered, wringing her hands tight.

_Such a lie._

* * *

><p>Maura looked up when the door opened again, and immediately her heart jumped into her throat. With a deer-in-the-headlights expression on her face, Jane Rizzoli looked nothing like Jane Rizzoli. For somebody as tall and intimidating as she usually was, Jane seemed a lot smaller in her bright orange jumpsuit. She froze when her eyes met Maura's and, after a pause, actually started to turn around to go back through the door behind her.<p>

_Wait, Jane…_

As if she heard her, Jane stopped. Maura watched as the expression on her face changed from frightful to determined. Without meeting her former friend's eyes again, Jane power-walked down the line of cubicles, slid smoothly into the one across from Maura and picked up the phone.

The air grew still. Very slowly, Maura lifted her receiver and put it to her ear.

Jane felt trapped. She'd forced herself to cross the room and sit in front of Maura, and now she had absolutely no idea what to say first. There were so many thoughts running through her head. _I've missed you. I hate it here. I can't put your father in prison. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for everything._

Out came the very first thing that broke through her consciousness. "Hi."

Hearing Jane's low, rough voice for the first time in more than a month was like Maura's Kryptonite. She suddenly felt weak everywhere. Tears sprang into the corners of her eyes and she forced herself to take a few deep breaths, trying her hardest to come up with an intelligent response. _Why is this so difficult?_

On the other side of the glass, Jane watched the shorter woman's reaction through frightened eyes. _Oh lord, how in the hell did she take that the wrong way? _Swallowing her sudden panic, she willed Maura to meet her gaze. _Say something. Please. Anything._

Seconds ticked by, and she was dying. Licking her lips, Jane leaned forward slightly and put the phone closer to her mouth. "Maura, please say something."

Her eyes flicked upwards and stared into Jane's. Everything she thought she wanted to say disappeared, and suddenly she only wanted to know one thing. "Why?"

Slowly, Jane's forehead creased and a confused expression crossed her face. "Why what?"

"Why _everything_." Maura took a deep breath and determinedly kept eye contact. "Start with Agent Dean and end with you being here."

The lack of emotion in Maura's voice struck Jane. She anxiously shifted position and shoved a hand through her hair. "Okay…um…" Inhaling sharply, Jane began to explain herself carefully. "Everything with Dean was a mistake. I shouldn't have taken him in again so quickly, and I definitely shouldn't have told him"—she shook her head—"_Gabriel_…about Doyle coming back. It was incredibly stupid of me to assume he wouldn't do anything until I told him to, Maura," she whispered, voice cracking. "I'm…so, so sorry."

Maura nodded slowly, then faster. "Okay." Her expression didn't change as she cleared her throat and asked the next question. "And then what? Did you bring him with you when we went to the warehouse?"

Jane shook her head violently. "No, Maura, I swear, we didn't know he was coming. I don't know if he had a source or a hunch, or"—her free hand was gesturing wildly in the air, like she was grasping desperately for an answer—"or if he just followed me for the sake of following me, but I had no idea he was going to turn up." She looked at her former friend helplessly and let her hand fall near the glass between them. "Again, Maura, I'm so sorry."

"Stop." Maura snapped suddenly, holding up her hand with eyes shut. "Please."

A silence fell between them. A war was going on inside Maura; the emotional part of her wanted to forget anything ever happened and forgive Jane then and there, but the logical Maura was screaming for answers. _You want her back. You've missed her so much. But what kind of life can you lead with everything between you?_

After several long moments, logic won out. Maura balled her empty hand into a fist and breathed deeply. "Now…tell me what you were thinking. When you shot him."

Jane knew this question would come. She had the answer. Now, all she needed to do was let the sentences fall into place.

"I was thinking like a cop. He had taken down a federal agent just a few seconds before. His weapon was up and I could see this look of pure malice on his face. I still don't know if he was looking at me or Frost, but I reacted first. I shot him."

Tears stung her eyes as she stared at the woman across from her, pain rippling through her chest. "Maura…I can't tell you how many times I've thought back and wished it were Frost who took him down. I wish I never told Dean about Doyle in the first place. I wish I had somehow…protected your name when you requested to see the space heater." She was rambling, she knew, absolutely grasping at straws, but the words kept coming. "I don't know how I could have done it, but God, I would have tried. I would have done…_anything_…to keep this all from happening. But…the chips fell where they did. I made choices, worked with my mistakes, and in the end I had to act the way I was trained to act."

Through the phone, Jane heard Maura inhale shakily, and her heart positively shattered. Pressing her fingers to the glass, she willed the ME to meet her eyes again. "Maura, _please_. I…I'm…"

Maura held up a hand. Jane snapped her mouth shut and waited, staring sadly at the top of her former friend's head. _Please, Maura._

"You know, Jane…" Maura lifted her head and wiped under her eyes quickly, her stare locked on some point over Jane's right shoulder. "Somewhere in here"—vaguely, she gestured over her chest, eyebrows furrowing as she did so—"I _do_ understand that. But there's also a part of me that…that just…"

Jane's heart sank. She felt completely defeated. "That's glad I'm behind bars."

"No, Jane." Maura's watery eyes met the brunette's as she shook her head gently. "There isn't a single bit of me that wishes you were on the other side of this glass."

Another silence fell, but this time, something else was hanging in the air between them. Despite everything that had come to pass, Jane couldn't help but feel as though a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. _She wants me out._ "Well, okay." Her gaze flicked from Maura's hand, still suspended over her chest, to her glistening hazel eyes. "At least we have that part covered."

Maura nodded vaguely. Both women sat still for a few moments, simply processing everything that had just come to light. Jane was still afraid that the ME would never forgive her for what she did, but at the same time, she was relieved to know that Maura wasn't happy with her being in prison. On the other side of the glass, Maura was far from relieved. Her thoughts were racing and she had no idea what she wanted to happen. _What should I do?_

Straightening in her seat, she decided it was best to know what Jane was thinking. "So what happens now?"

Jane's brown eyes darkened. "Well…do you think you could handle me testifying against Doyle when he gets out of the hospital?"

"I don't know," Maura replied quietly. She wished she did. "Do you think you could handle testifying against him?"

Biting her lip, Jane looked at Maura unblinkingly. "I don't know either."

The tension in the air thickened again. Sighing, Maura tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and rested her hand on the table. "So where do we go from here?"

"Rizzoli. Time's up."

Both women looked up at Steve, surprised. The guard simply stared at Jane pointedly and gestured for her to hang up the phone. She turned back to Maura and opened her mouth to say something else, a slightly desperate look in her eyes, but what ended up coming out was, "I have to leave."

Maura's fingers gripped the phone tightly; a sudden and urgent need to keep the other woman seated overwhelmed her. "Jane…"

Closing her eyes, Jane took the phone away from her ear. _Calm down, Jane. It's something._ Reluctantly, she replaced the receiver, and stood with a nod to Steve.

Maura rose to her feet as well, hanging up the phone and staring as the guard led her former friend away. On an unexpected whim, she pushed her hand hard against the glass and called out to the taller woman. "Jane."

She didn't hear her name, but the thud of Maura's hand against the glass caused Jane to turn around before she reached the door. A pained expression on the ME's face caused a jolt to go through her stomach. _God, Maura…_

Heart pounding, Maura locked eyes with Jane and made a promise she knew she would keep. "I'll be back."

Jane's breath hitched. _She's coming back_. Feeling the pressure of Steve's hand on her arm, Jane nodded quickly at Maura, and then allowed herself to be led through the doorway, suddenly feeling lighter than she had in weeks. _She really is coming back._

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><p><strong>AN2: **Before you grab your torches and pitchforks, may I just say one thing: canon. Canon, canon, canon, canon. If the writers of this show ever decided to make Rizzles happen, it would be a very gradual process. I want these characters to be as true to the show as possible, so I can't have them diving into "I love you"s the very first time they see each other in six weeks! There's so much to work out! Next chapter is going to be a big one for Jane- she'll be coming to terms with her true feelings for Maura. I'm still up in the air about chapter 13—I think I want to flesh out Maura's side just a little bit more before I bring her back to jail—but I'll definitely let you know. Thank you all so much for sticking with me thus far; you're fantastic and I love you all!


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **There's a lot of me in this chapter. I drew greatly from personal experience in order to give Benji a strong voice, helping Jane along with her justification process, so…no flames, okay? I know you might have some mixed feelings about the way she came about, but trust me, without a Benji…well, we'd be here for months. I hope you do enjoy the chapter, though. Happy reading!

L0E: Thank you, so much. I was really going for that! :)

dallas: Thanks! I hope this one doesn't disappoint.

gabaroo1: Here you are! Thank you so much!

TheJoker'sBrother: Oh goodness, thank you! It's good to hear from you again! :)

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><p>She was back in her cell now, on her back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. <em>Okay. I think there are some things we have to reexamine.<em>

Her eyes closed and she heaved a sigh, letting the air out of her lungs slowly as she tried to relax.

_Desperation. You felt desperate the entire time you were speaking to her. Desperate for…forgiveness. Nothing more than that. You weren't even thinking about getting out of here. You just wanted her to know how…awful you fell for putting her through all this._

Almost lazily, Jane reached behind her head and pulled the pillow out from under her. She pressed it over her face and groaned. _You _clearly _got the short end of the stick here, Jane. After all that happened, her parents are still alive. She's out there, living her life. You're in prison. You gave up your freedom for her. And when she comes asking questions, you tell her you wish you'd given up so much more._

With a frustrated sigh, she jerked the pillow off her head and sent it flying against the opposite wall._ What does that tell you, you freaking moron? _

Jane dug the heels of her hands into her eyes, gritting her teeth to keep from shrieking out loud. _Ugh! How did this happen? How did I _not _see this coming? God…I didn't even consider it a possibility…_Dropping her arms down to her side, she blinked the stars out of her eyes and tried to calm down. _Okay. Okay. It's not the end of the world. It's just…every man you've been involved with between when you met Maura and now has been…what? A fluke? A mistake?_

Her fists clenched and unclenched involuntarily. _I _was _attracted to them, definitely. But…maybe there was a reason we didn't get further than that. I…I don't think I would have done this for any of them. _She shook her head. _No, I definitely wouldn't have. Only Maura. She's…she's different. She's always been different._

Jane pulled herself up into a seated position with a moan, running her fingers through her messy hair. "God, Ma is gonna _kill_ me…"

"You okay, Detective?"

Benji's voice through the wall caused her to jump. Quickly reorienting herself, Jane cleared her throat and replied. "Yeah…yeah, I'm good, Ben."

"You've been sort of quiet since you came back here. Everything go alright with your friend out there?"

Jane swallowed, hard. "I…I guess." Her voice was an octave higher than usual; she cleared her throat again. "Yeah. Um…she doesn't hate me, so…that's good."

There was a long pause. Jane's gaze flicked from her hands to the wall, waiting for Benji to speak again. _Is it something with my voice?_

"Sounds to me like you wanted more than that. More than…she 'doesn't hate' you."

At this moment, she wanted nothing more than a beer to take a long drink from. _I'm made of glass today. _

"She must mean a lot to you, Detective. You wouldn't be here otherwise."

So she was found out by someone else, mere minutes after she figured it out for herself. Jane dropped her head and heaved an enormous sigh. "Oh, _God_."

"Hey, I'm not judging. Isn't my place."

_Well, fantastic. That makes one of us._

Another silence fell. Jane twisted her fingers around and around themselves, thinking hard. _I can't move forward. Not without Ma finding out. What in the hell is she going to think of me? This is so…how would she put it…'unorthodox'? Well…that's probably putting it lightly…I mean…_She bit her lip and sighed. _I think I need a second opinion. _She glanced up at the wall and, after a moment's consideration, opened her mouth.

"How were you raised, Benji? Like…what kind of traditions and values did your family hold?"

From the other side of the wall came a sniff. "Bored, are you?"

Jane smiled in spite of herself. "I'd rather be bored listening to your voice than just staring at a wall, thinking too much."

"Hah. Sounds reasonable." She heard Benji shifting position. "I was brought up pretty liberal. Protestant family. We were in good company, here in Mass. You?"

"Pretty much the exact opposite. Roman Catholic and conservative." _Which worries me. _"Sometimes my mother gets so far to the right, I can't even see her anymore."

Benji laughed out loud. "Maybe we shouldn't be having this discussion, then, Detective. Seems like we'd disagree on a lot of things."

"Yeah, I'm with you there." Jane let a light silence fall, tracing the scars on the backs of her hands. She thought for a few moments, and then turned so she was looking out of the cell. "You wanna know something funny?"

"I'm always looking for funny, Detective."

The corners of Jane's mouth twitched and she looked down at her palms. "Everything about the way I was brought up tells me that what I'm feeling for Maura is wrong. I'm supposed to grow up at some point, you know? Find a husband and let him do the grunge work. Settle down and have some kids, raise a family. Old-fashioned American values and all that good stuff." She twisted her fingers some more and sighed. "And the church…I don't remember ever talking about it, but I've known for my whole life that feeling this way about…about another woman is considered a sin. One of the worst ones out there, in fact."

She trailed off, not quite sure where she was going with this. Benji's voice came around the corner again.

"I'm still waiting for the punch line, Detective."

She let out a small, cynical laugh. "What's funny about it is that whenever I'm with her…whenever I hear her voice…whenever I even catch a glimpse of her incredible smile…" Maura's beaming face appeared in her mind's eye and she couldn't help but grin as well, even as tears filled her eyes. "I've never been more certain that God exists."

There was the briefest of pauses, and then Benji said, "Then what's sinful about that?"

This caught Jane by surprise. She twisted her head in the direction of his voice. "What?"

"I said, what's sinful about that?" Benji shifted positions again. "Do you think God wants to begrudge you anything that makes you believe in Him more?"

Jane considered it for a moment. "No, I…I guess not…"

"There's also something called 'free will' to think about. And Jane…" She could hear him move closer to the door. "Isn't there a compromise? There has to be some way to keep all of your beliefs in harmony."

Jane was taken aback. "Um…well, there is something, I suppose," she stuttered, "But it sounds kind of stupid…"

"None of this is stupid, Detective. What's your compromise? How did you justify your feelings to yourself?"

She hesitated, thinking of just the right words. "I think…I think I could spend the rest of my life, in contentment, no less than five feet away from her at all times. Granted, of course, that to her, five feet away from me…was home." Jane breathed a few times, rolling those words around her head. "I truly believe I could do it."

"See?" Benji sounded extremely satisfied. "Detective, if you could really do that—what you just said—that makes you one of the strongest people I have ever known."

"…really?"

"Really. But, Detective…I don't think you should."

"Don't think I should what?"

"Stay five feet away from her at all times. That's a bit extreme. It's never a sin to make yourself happy. Don't ever forget that, okay? It's never a sin to love somebody else."

For the first time in over two months, Jane smiled a huge, genuine smile. "You ever see _Les Miserables_, Benji?"

"'To love another person is to see the face of God'," the man quoted, and Jane could practically hear him grinning from ear to ear. "Truer words were never spoken. Hold onto your beliefs, Jane. All of them."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **We're rounding off Maura's storyline quite nicely here. I know you're probably growing quite impatient with me now, aren't you? Well, fear not, dear readers: though I like to tease, I can say with the utmost certainty that next chapter, we're going to see something big happen between Jane and Maura. Terrified? Excited? Anxious? …;) Happy reading!

Kk: I'm dealing with something like this, too; that's what made it so easy to write. I'm hoping for the best :) Thank you for reading!

gabaroo1: Here you are! Thanks for your review!

lovesher: Was this soon enough? Haha thank you so much!

Nicole: You are so, so sweet! Your review almost made _me_ cry! I'm so happy you're enjoying it so far. Thank you, very much!

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><p>Maura's phone vibrated loudly in her purse as she approached her car, causing her to jump. Forcing herself to take deep breaths, she pulled it out and tapped the password quickly, hoping it wasn't work.<p>

"_Dimner 5. Lots of Italian. Hope you can made it. Angels."_

She had to reread the message a couple of times before she realized it was Angela, not "Angels", who sent it to her. Maura slid into the driver's seat slowly, still staring at her phone. The eldest Rizzoli hadn't been around much during the past week, and at first Maura thought it was because she was taking care of Constance. Now, however, she realized it probably had something to do with Jane going to jail.

"Well," Maura said to herself with a click of the tongue. "At least I have one Rizzoli to go home to."

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><p>The number of cars parked outside her house were a clear indication that Angela had invited her sons to dinner as well, and more than likely, Frost and Korsak were there too. The driveway was empty except for Angela's car, and Maura parked carefully, her heart even heavier than when she left the prison. <em>Every person in my guest house knew about Jane before I did.<em>

Leaning her elbows on the steering wheel, Maura dropped her head into her hands and ran her fingers slowly along her scalp. _I can't berate them. As much as I want to, it's completely unreasonable. It's not their fault she's gone. It's mine._

A knock on the door startled her, and she looked up to see Constance peering through the window.

"Where is she?"

Maura sighed heavily. _You have a plan. Don't get upset. You have a plan._ Gently she pushed the car door open and stepped out, meeting her mother's eyes almost immediately. "Where she has been."

Confusion filled every inch of the older Isles' features. She crossed her arms, wincing a little, and stared at her daughter. "You didn't bring her home?"

"I didn't tell her," Maura replied, carefully and evenly.

Constance was completely taken aback. That was what she had set out to do, wasn't it? "Well, why not?"

Maura shook her head. "We ran out of time, Mother. She had to leave before I could say anything. _But_"—she held up a hand when her mother opened her mouth to protest—"we talked about what happened and got several other things out into the open. I'm going back tomorrow, and we'll continue from there."

With that, Maura shut the door and proceeded past her mother, heading towards the entrance to the guest house. Constance, still quite surprised, followed her daughter as quickly as she could. "You'll 'continue from there'? Maura, the woman is in _prison._ How long are you going to keep her waiting?"

"Mother." Maura spun around right in front of the door, her jaw set in determination. "As inept as I may be in some social situations, I know _for certain_ that, after assisting in the progression of a series of events that ultimately culminated in her current state-of-being, it is unwise and unreasonable for me to visit my former best friend _in prison_ and declare my love for her on the spot."

Constance opened her mouth to interrupt again, but Maura held up a finger. "I'm going back tomorrow." She quickly glanced to both sides, making sure the windows to the guest house were closed, and lowered her voice warily. "I'm not going to leave until she agrees to testify in Patrick's trial. If it means I have to tell her then and there that I love her, then I will. _D'accord?_"

For a few seconds, Constance imitated a fish, her lips opening and closing as she thought of a proper response. After some consideration, her shoulders dropped a little in defeat. "_Oui._"

Satisfied, Maura moved away and took a hold of the doorknob. She was about to turn it when a hand landed on her arm. "_Mais_…"

She looked over her shoulder. Her mother had a familiar, demanding look in her eye. "_N'abandonnez pas_."

_Do not give up._

Without breaking eye contact, Maura nodded. "_Je ne vais pas_."

* * *

><p>The first ten minutes of dinner were incredibly silent. Three Rizzolis, two Isles', a Korsak, and a Frost, it turned out, could be very quiet whenever they so desired. It wasn't too bad for about five minutes—when everybody was busy helping themselves to heaping plates of Italian food and smooth red wine—but once they had all taken their desired amounts of pollo alla cassiotora, gnocchi, pasta e fagioli, and herb bread, awkwardness settled in. All three women in the room were quite content with keeping their eyes on their plates, nibbling on their food at steady paces. The men, however, were not so at ease. For once, none of them felt like eating, and were continuously glancing around at one another.<p>

If anybody bothered to look closely, Frost was clearly the most uncomfortable of all. He had his feet in three different camps, regarding the not-so-underlying subject of Jane. Frankie had come to him a lot over the course of the past week, after apologizing for his breakdown, for both distractions and a sympathetic ear; he wasn't handling being the only Rizzoli child without a jail stint very well. While that was going on, Cavanaugh and Korsak pushed him to his limit on the Hicks case, projecting their anguish over the loss of Jane in a completely different direction, not letting up until they had the guilty brother-in-law in custody.

Then, of course, there was Maura, the new friend whom he had successfully kept in the dark until about twenty-four hours ago. Frost looked across the table to her and, with a wave of unexpected guilt, briefly noted that she was wearing the same clothes as the day before. She didn't greet him when she had entered the guest house, nor did she even glance in his direction, and Frost truly wouldn't blame her if she never spoke to him again. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if Maura ignored the entire room, solely because he was present.

So when she was the one to break the silence, Frost couldn't help but feel somewhat taken aback.

"I went to see Jane today."

Make that _very_ taken aback. The tension that suddenly filled the room was almost tangible as everybody's gaze slowly came to rest on Maura. They were all thinking the same thing: _What did she just say?_

When nobody said anything for a good number of seconds, Frost decided it was time to be bold. He cleared his throat gently. "Um…how is she, Doc?"

Maura's eyes met his. He blinked, expecting to see some degree of hostility in her hazel irises, but with a closer look, all he saw was exhaustion. She nodded gently in his direction before carefully answering the question. "She looks…she's well. You know, as well as she…" She swallowed. "As she can be."

More silence. They all looked around at one another, seemingly unsure of what to say next. After a few moments, Angela took a deep breath and turned to Maura. "Did she have any bruises?" she asked tentatively, as if she was afraid of the answer. "Has she been fighting?"

"Ma…" Frankie shook his head in response. "She'd flatten anybody who'd try to pick a fight with her. You've got nothing to worry about."

"Yeah," Tommy consented, leaning back in his chair, the only one in the room who seemed at ease. "'Sides, they put the novies in a separate ward. Want to keep them away from any violence that might go on."

Everybody turned their heads to look at him, eyebrows raised. Tommy blinked back. "You know, novies? Like, non-violent offenders…" When nobody responded, he waved his hand like he was brushing the thought away. "Prison slang. Forget it."

After another pause, Maura continued. "Anyways…" She took a deep breath and forced herself to meet everyone's eyes. "I'm returning tomorrow, and I'm going to convince her to testify in Patrick Doyle's upcoming case."

Korsak, Frost and Frankie all sat forward looking at each other with astounded expressions. She was going to get Jane to come back? But…how? "You're sure about this, Doc?" Frost asked carefully, feeling obligated to double-check her certainty in the decision.

Maura nodded slowly, then faster. "Absolutely."

There was a silence, not full of strange feelings, but buzzing with promise. Tommy threw his hands in the air. "Well, all right, then." Grabbing the wine bottle in front of him, he refilled his glass and raised it high. "To Maura."

Nobody else moved—they all simply stared at him—but the youngest Rizzoli didn't care. He met the stunned doctor's eyes and smiled. "Bring my sister home."

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><p>That night, Maura lay on her side in bed, going over the night's events in her head. <em>Tonight was…not a complete disaster. I think I actually had a breakthrough.<em> Biting her lip, she turned onto her back and thought about the next day. _This is it. This is really it._

Her fingers clenched and unclenched the sheet draped over her torso, wrinkling the Egyptian cotton.

_I'm coming back, Jane._

Throwing a hand behind her head, Maura stared up at the ceiling and sighed.

_And this time, I'm not leaving without you._


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **You dogs. You lucky, lucky dogs, you. ;) Enjoy, my beauties.

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><p>Despite the weakness in her legs, Jane had a much easier time making her way from the doorway to the seat in front of Maura this afternoon. She was surprised, of course, that the ME had been so quick to return, but relieved as well. It meant she could tell her exactly how she was feeling before the inclination to chicken out took over.<p>

The two women picked up their respective phones simultaneously, and immediately Jane began to speak, almost rushed. "Maura, there's something I have to talk to you about."

"Jane…"

Her mouth snapped shut on his own accord when Maura gently interrupted. She watched as the shorter woman curled her fingers into a fist, keeping her gaze cast down. "I'd like to go first. Please."

The unease in Maura's voice struck a chord in her. She didn't sound angry, or sad, just…apprehensive. _Why?_

Slowly, Jane nodded her consent.

_Now or never_. Maura inhaled deeply, and when she exhaled, the words came out with her breath.

"I want you out."

Silence. Jane blinked several times, trying to absorb what was just said. _This…she…I…what?_ "What?"

"I want you out of here, Jane." The flow of words seemed to be picking up gradually. She raised her gaze and stared certainly into the Italian's brown eyes. "I want you to tell whoever you need to tell that you're willing to testify against Paddy Doyle, and then you _will _do so."

Jane's mouth opened and closed several times. Her thoughts were positively racing; all of a sudden, preventing herself from doing what she was certain would make Maura the most upset…was making Maura the most upset. Feeling very lightheaded, Jane leaned on the ledge in front of her for more support. "Are…" She cleared her throat and stared at Maura. "Are you sure?"

The doctor wagged her head definitively. "Absolutely. Jane, he's going to jail with or without your help, and…I'd very much rather you not be behind bars when the trial is through."

This was all happening so much faster than she expected. Jane sat back, pressing a hand to her forehead. _Okay, okay, just…wait a second. We have to slow down. She has to think about this._ "Maura…I don't want you to"—her hand waved frantically as nothing as she grasped for the right thing to say—"to feel like you _have_ to make this choice. I mean…I think you should think about it for a while longer."

"No, Jane—" Maura attempted to interrupt, sounding impatient.

The taller woman shook her head and shut her eyes. "Look, Maura…the whole reason I'm here—"

"Jane, _wait_—"

"I never wanted you pick one or the—"

A slamming noise caused her, and several other people in the visitor's area, to jump. Jane stopped talking abruptly when her eyes snapped open and she realized it was Maura's open palm dropping hard onto the surface in front of her that made the noise.

"_Jane. Rizzoli._"

Said woman gulped nervously. Maura leaned forward, desperate determination set in her features."Aren't you listening to me? _I choose_ _you_, Jane. I _mean _it. _Yes_, I'm upset. Yes, I'm _hurt_. Yes, I'm so far beyond sad and confused that I can't even see straight anymore." Maura swallowed hard and her fingers clenched, tears springing suddenly into her eyes. "But at the end of the day…Patrick Doyle is just a sperm donor. A dangerous, unpredictable, protective sperm donor. He could never mean as much to me as you do."

Jane felt a lump forming in her throat. "Maura…" she began hoarsely, but the woman shook her head hard and pressed her fingers to the glass.

"No, Jane, I mean it," she choked out. "I love you, Jane Rizzoli. I've said it before and I'll say it a hundred times over: I love you and I _choose_ you. Testify against Doyle. Get your badge back. Come back to Boston PD. Come back into my life…" The ME inhaled harshly and squeezed her eyes shut, two tears dropping onto the white ledge below her. "Because…I'm not sure I can breathe properly again until you return."

Jane was having trouble processing oxygen herself. Her head was spinning, her insides were twisting, and her skin was crawling with goosebumps. Maura loved her. She _loved her_.

"You…" Her voice caught in her throat and she licked her lips anxiously. "You really mean that?"

Maura raised her eyes again. "Of course I do," she whispered. _I really, really do._ "Jane…you chose your job over me the first time around, and I thought I lost everything. My father…my best friend…my stability…" Her fingers on the glass pressed harder and the pads turned white with angst. "But that was nothing compared to how I felt when Barry told me you were in prison because you refused to testify against Doyle. Jane…" Her throat was clogged with emotion. "My world fell apart. Nothing…nothing seemed to matter anymore, because I felt like I had lost you forever."

That lump wouldn't go away. "Maura…" she whispered, but the ME pressed on.

"I knew in that moment that he could never mean to me as much as you do. _Nothing_ could ever mean as much to me." Completely spent, Maura looked up at the woman in front of her and felt like her heart would absolutely burst. "I love you, Jane. And I want you to come home."

Jane felt numb, speechless, weightless. Her cheeks were wet with salt water, now, but she had never known happiness like this before. _She loves me. She really freaking loves me._ Suddenly, the words were back, and she was stumbling her sentences over laughter. "Oh, my God," she whispered joyously through her tears. "Maura, I…I love you too. I really, really do. My _God_, I can't believe this is happening."

A smile spread across Maura's face, her own vision blurring once again. Her fingers brushed up against the divider between them again. "We're in this together, Jane."

Quickly wiping her eyes, Jane put her palm flush against the glass. They _were_ in this together. At this moment, the rest of the world didn't matter. Paddy Doyle didn't matter. Her mother didn't matter. Nothing mattered but Maura. From now on, it was the two of them. Rizzoli and Isles. Jane and Maura.

_Her _Maura.

She stared straight into those beautiful hazel eyes. "Of course. Always."

Maura's tears spilled over. Jane found herself grinning like an idiot as all the feeling came back into her body, and she was suddenly aware of the clear forcefield still resting between them. Wiping her face with one hand, the brunette turned around. "Hey, Steve?"

The guard looked up from the hardcover he had been pretending to read. Jane took a deep breath and opened her mouth. "How do I go about getting out of here?"

Steve snapped his book shut. Without breaking eye contact, he pushed himself off the wall and reached for the keys on his belt. "I thought you'd never ask, Detective."

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><p><strong>AN2: **ALL THE RIZZLES-FUZZIES! :D So they finally said the L-word from opposite sides of the law. Now...what's going to happen once Jane is finally home free? Review and stay tuned!


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **Breakthroughs, guys. Breakthroughs. :) Happy reading!

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><p>She had to talk to a few different people, but eventually, Maura obtained permission to call Korsak and have him set up a detail for Jane; the newly freed detective had to be monitored until the trial, to make sure she actually went through with the testimony. Maura went back through security once that was done and leaned against the wall in the prison's small entrance area, quick to dial the phone one more time. She wanted to make sure Jane's homecoming was as familiar as possible.<p>

"_Hello?"_

"Tommy?"

"_Hey, Maura! What's going on? You spring my sister yet?"_

"Actually, yes." Maura couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. "I'm waiting for her to finish signing her release papers now."

"…_are you serious? Geez, Maur…that's friggen awesome! How'd you pull it off?"_

Maura shrugged at nobody. "Just said all the right things, I suppose."

"_Wow…Maura, that's freaking amazing. So she's coming home? Today?"_

"Yes!" Maura waved her hand dismissively. "Listen, Tommy…you were looking after Jo Friday, right?"

"_Yeah, I took her out and fed her this morning."_

"Is she still at Jane's?"

"_I never brought her with me, she didn't want to leave the apartment. Why?"_

Maura nodded. "I just want everything to be in place when she gets back. Thank you, Tommy."

"_Hey, no problem. And thank _you,_ Maura. For bringing my sister home."_

She grinned widely again. "Anytime."

"_Alright. Well, I'm gonna call Ma and tell her the big news. I'll try to keep her out of your hair for a couple hours, but no promises."_

"My mother should be able to help you out if she gets too persistent. Don't worry about it too much—I want to give Jane some time to herself as well, so I'll be along in a little while."

"_Okay. Thanks so much again, Maur. You're…really, the best."_

She pinched her lips together and tried to ignore the swelling feeling in her chest. "Alright. I'll see you soon. Bye, Tommy."

"_Bye."_

Maura hit the "end" button on her phone and took a deep breath, watching the call time blink away. She exhaled slowly, whispering to herself. "Deep breaths, Maura."

"Not too deep though, okay?"

The ME jerked her gaze upwards. Jane was propped up against the wall at the end of the hallway that led back into the prison, dressed in the clothes Maura didn't see that past Monday. She was smiling softly at her friend—her love?—as she nervously tightened her grip on her laundry bag. "I'm trusting you to get me home in one piece, and we wouldn't want you feeling lightheaded, now, would we?"

Very aware of her racing heart, Maura felt the corners of her mouth twitching. "It may be a little too late for that."

It was silent for a couple of seconds. Then simultaneously, both women pushed off their respective walls and walked towards each other. Reaching forward, Maura slid her hands around Jane's waist, and she felt the taller woman's arms encircle her shoulders. Stomach to stomach, chest to chest; they buried their faces in each other's hair and, for a few moments, simply breathed each other in.

_I never want to lose this again_, Maura thought to herself.

Jane, on the other hand, couldn't keep her emotions in. She woke up that morning expecting to spend the next twelve months in solitude, and was now about to walk back into the world with the person she loved most. _I can't believe this is real._ Two tears leaked out of her eyes as she breathed, "God, this is more then I ever hoped for."

Maura felt the wetness on her ear. Pulling back from Jane slowly, she ran her hands down the taller woman's forearms and entangled their fingers together. Her bright hazel eyes met shining brown ones and she felt her heart swell with love. "Come on. Let's go home."

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><p>Jo Friday was unhappy. She lay on Jane's bed with her head on her paws, staring idly at the wall. It had been several sunrises since she saw her master, and she didn't like it at all. Although the tall male with a nice voice came by to feed her and take her out every day, Jo missed her master. Why didn't she come home? Was it Jo's fault? Did she do something bad?<p>

Disheartened, Jo sighed and closed her eyes. Maybe a nap would make her feel better.

The sound of the apartment door opening caused her to lift her head again a very few minutes later, but the footfalls sounded very much like the tall man's. Her ears drooped a little bit. When was Jane coming home?

"Hey, did Tommy take Jo Friday?"

At the sound of that voice, Jo was on her paws. Could it be?

"I called him earlier. He said she should be here."

Jo let out an excited bark. The one who smelled like flowers brought her master home!

"Sounds like she is! Here, Jo!"

Scrambling off the bed, Jo Friday darted out of the bedroom and hurried to welcome the two women.

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><p>Two steps inside the door, Jane let go of her laundry bag and dropped to a crouch. As her dog came barreling around the corner, she spread her arms wide and braced for impact. "Hey, Jo Friday!"<p>

The mutt jumped into her chest and knocked Jane flat on her back, but the woman didn't mind one bit. Laughing, she hugged Jo tight as the dog licked her collarbone frantically, happily. "I missed you so much! Yeah, I'm home, buddy, we're gonna hang out again! Yeah!"

Maura shut the door to the apartment, smiling down at Jane and Jo Friday. Seeing the amount of affection Jane had for her dog only made her love for the Italian grow just that much more. She watched them quietly for a few moments, simply soaking in her emotions. _She's such a caring individual. I wish she'd show it more._

As if she heard Maura's thoughts, Jane looked up from the floor. She met the shorter woman's eyes and remembered why she was there in the first place. _We still need to talk. _Pulling herself up into a seated position, she dropped a kiss onto Jo Friday's head and lowered the dog to the floor. "Hey, Jo…I gotta talk to Maura for a minute, okay? Then we'll go on a nice long walk. How's that sound?"

Jo barked in reply and sat down on the rug, cocking her head inquisitively at her master. Jane smiled and stood up. "Yeah, okay." Scratching Jo's ears in passing, she sat down on her couch and, somewhat shakily, motioned for Maura to join her. The doctor did, sitting so that one of her knees pressed gently against Jane's, and was a bit surprised when the brunette took her hand almost immediately.

"Maura…"

The unease in her voice startled the ME further, and she placed her other hand on top of Jane's. "What is it?"

Anxiety pulsed through her with every beat of her heart, but Jane knew she had to get this out. Clearing her throat, she met Maura's eyes, certainty etched across her face. "You know I love you, right?"

This caused Maura to smile faintly. "I do now."

"Yeah, so…" Jane adjusted her position on the couch, trying to get more comfortable. "You know I'm never, _ever _going to leave you again, yes?"

Maura's grin faded. She stared concernedly into the taller woman's dark eyes. "Jane, what's this about?"

Jane shifted again, moving until both her knees were pushed into Maura's leg and she was fully facing the doctor. Firmly squeezing her friend's fingers, Jane forced herself to open her mouth. "Maura…I have absolutely never felt this way about anybody before. It's…really, it's almost unbelievable how much I truly do love you, and care about you, and want to make you the happiest person alive." She licked her lips and kept her eyes trained on their hands, pressed so tightly together. "But…because of how I was brought up, how I was taught to think…there's still a part of me that's—that's screaming out how…_wrong_ this is."

Jane felt Maura tense beside her and immediately pulled their hands up to clutch to her chest, raising her gaze to her friend's confidently. "Believe me, Maura, I want to work this out. I _need_ to work this out." Biting her lip, she shook the ME's hand gently in her fists. "I _will_ work this out. I promise, I'm going to give this one hundred and fifty percent of my effort, and I'll make peace with myself—_all _of myself—if it's the last thing I do. We just…we need to take things slow. I need time to process, time to…to make sure every bit of me is in this for good." She searched her friend's expression, hoping desperately for a positive reaction. "I'll get there Maura, I swear. … Can we do this?"

Time. That's exactly what Maura was going to ask Jane for. Time to talk and fully recover from the shooting and all that happened since. Time to process both of their feelings and figure out exactly where they were going.

Time.

They both needed it.

And now, she was confident it was on both their sides.

_We're going to make it happen._

A smile spreading across her face, Maura nodded to Jane. "Of course we can take things slowly." She clasped her other hand over Jane's once again. "We'll talk. We'll help each other out. And someday…we will get there, as happily and as completely as any two people can."

Excitement, adoration and relief suddenly overwhelmed Jane. She dropped Maura's hand and threw her arms around the shorter woman's shoulders, holding her as tightly as she dared. "Thank you so much, Maura. I promise, I'm in this for the long haul."

Maura's arms tightened around her waist and the ME spoke into her neck. "Me too, Jane. Me too."

They sat like that for a few moments, just enjoying the closeness. When they finally did pull away from each other, Maura allowed her lips to brush Jane's cheek on their way by, a gesture just chaste enough to not discomfort the dark haired woman. Grinning, Maura picked her bag up off the floor, gripped Jane's hand one more time, and stood to leave. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay." Jane sat forward as she watched her walk to the apartment's entrance. "Hey, Maura?"

The ME turned. Jane wrung her hands together and stared gratefully at the woman she loved. "Thank you."

Maura relaxed every inch of her body, her expression full of pure affection. "Always."

The door shut behind her. Suddenly feeling lightheaded, Jane fell backwards onto the couch. "She understands."

Very slowly, she rolled to the floor, where Jo Friday proceeded to crawl onto her stomach and stare at her curiously. Jane grinned at her dog and curled her hands into fists, punching the air victoriously. "I'm back, baby!"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **I'm not an _enormous_ fan of this chapter, but it's all truly necessary. I'm very glad to have finished it by now, actually—I've a very special Valentine's Day treat coming up for you guys in chapter 17, so…stay tuned. ;) And I'm sorry if I haven't been replying to your reviews as of late, real life has been keeping me very busy. I truly treasure each and every one of them, and I'll try harder to respond this upcoming week. Thank you all so much! Happy reading!

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><p>The first night back home was incredible. Jane was glad nobody in her family came over to see her; as much as she missed them, she really needed the time alone. After an unhealthy yet completely satisfying meal of fast food and beer, she jumped into a scalding hot shower, savoring every torched nerve until it felt like her body was on fire. Then it was out of the shower and into the cool sheets, where she fell asleep almost instantly, slumbering deeply and soundly with Jo Friday at her feet.<p>

Jane walked into headquarters the next morning with her head held deceptively high. It would be a lie to say she wasn't excited to get her old life back; however, it would also be a lie to say she wasn't nervous as hell returning to the scene of the crime, so to speak. People stared from the moment she pushed through the glass doors, but Jane made her way confidently to the elevator. _I am undefined._ Without a badge or a jumpsuit to label her, this felt like the next step to complete freedom: taking in her existence at its barest. _I am Jane Rizzoli. I'm making myself happy again. I'm going to get my badge back, and then I'll go down to see Maura. It's time I started trying._

She pushed open the door to the bullpen and wasn't surprised at all by the sudden silence that welcomed her. Everybody had stopped what they were doing to simply stare at her. She tried to brush off the feeling of discomfort as she took a few more steps in, telling herself it was nothing. _Well, they weren't expecting me for at least another year._

"Jane!"

A wave of relief washed over her. She turned to see Korsak on his feet, making his way out from behind his desk to greet her. "Hey, Korsak."

The elder detective embraced her warmly. "Glad to see the doc got you out of there."

Jane hugged him tightly back. "Well, she can be"—she cleared her throat as she pulled back, searching for the right words—"very persuasive, when she feels like it."

A hand on her shoulder caused her to turn. She grinned widely. "Hi."

"Hey, Jane." Her partner pulled her into a quick hug. "It's great to have you back."

"Great to be back, Frost," she replied, squeezing him gently.

"Rizzoli."

There was the voice she had been expecting, but somewhat dreading. Slowly, she retreated from her embrace with Frost and turned. With his hands on his waist, Cavanaugh stared at her with a neutral expression, hiding well whatever he was thinking. Jane nodded cautiously in his direction, trying to not show how anxious she was. "Commander Cavanaugh."

The commander looked at her for a few more seconds. Then with a sigh, he glanced once around the bullpen and started back into his office, gesturing for her to follow.

Jane looked at her two partners for a little bit of moral encouragement. Frost patted her shoulder while Korsak laid a hand on her arm; they really were behind her every step of the way. Graciously smiling at both of them, Jane took a deep breath and followed Cavanaugh into his office.

The door shut behind her. Jane and her commander stood on opposite sides of his desk, simply looking at each other. Neither of them wore readable expressions.

_If he's going to yell at me, why doesn't he just get it over with?_

A few more seconds passed before Cavanaugh moved. Without hesitation, he opened the top drawer, drew out her badge and gun, and set them on the desk in front of her. "You're out for the rest of this week. Keep that gun out of sight and don't even think about showing here again until next Monday. I don't want you around while I deal with IA."

Relief crashed over her as she stared down at her possessions, dumbstruck. _My God…he meant it._

"Rizzoli."

She looked up. Cavanaugh's face was serious, but his eyes shone with respect. "You stuck by your morals, and I commend you for that. A cop's nothing if he or she doesn't have something to live by. Don't ever forget that, no matter what anybody says." He paused. "Even me."

Jane dipped her head in reply. "Thank you, sir."

Cavanaugh nodded back. "Start putting together your testimony. You've got a week to yourself, Rizzoli. Make it count."

"I will, sir. Thank you."

He waved his hand dismissively. "Don't let me see you til Monday."

"Of course." Quickly, she double-checked the safety on her gun and slipped it into its holster; luckily, she had put on her belt that morning. Grabbing her badge, she shot her commander a smile on her way out the door.

_I'm really coming back!_

After saying goodbye to Korsak and Frost, Jane made her way to the elevator and punched the "down" button, eager to get to the basement. An enormous grin spread across her face as she realized just how much her life was looking up. _I must be…the luckiest person alive right now._

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><p>Jane made her way to the autopsy room, wringing her hands anxiously. <em>Alright, you can do this, Jane<em>. Without hesitation, she pushed the door open and slipped inside, her eyes immediately falling on a scrub-clad Maura. "Hey," she greeted, suddenly feeling shy and leaning up against the doors as they closed.

Maura looked up from the male she was working on and smiled, her happy surprise apparent from across the room. "Hey yourself."

Jane bit her lip, silently chastising herself for suddenly becoming a chicken. With a jerk of her head, she gestured towards the corpse. "Routine, or…?"

"Routine, thank goodness." Maura started sealing the left cut of the Y-incision delicately. "Nothing since we closed the Hicks case. His brother-in-law tried to poison him, did Frost tell you? The Prozac pills in his prescription bottle were replaced with cyanide capsules. Martin was suspicious and stopped taking his prescription a couple days before they were switched, so when he didn't die, his brother-in-law decided to cut right to the chase. A fire stoker in the sister's house matched the dimensions of the fracture on the back of his head."

"Good, good, that's…great." For once, Jane didn't really care about the closure of a case. "Hey…" She pushed off the door and started to cross the room. "Since…you know, this is just a routine autopsy…and, there aren't any new cases for you to stay overtime for…"

Maura glanced up, the corners of her mouth twitching. "Yes?"

Arriving at the autopsy table, opposite the ME, Jane flexed her fingers anxiously. "Would you…"—_Say words, Rizzoli_—"maybe"—_Okay, better words than that_—"want to grab dinner with me, sometime this week?"

Raising her eyebrows, Maura set her needle down on the tray behind her and said in a teasing voice, "Did you just ask me out, Detective Rizzoli?"

Glad for an opportunity to make light of the situation, Jane tapped into to her legendary Rizzoli sarcasm. "No, I was talking to Cadaver Joe."

Maura smiled down at her tools. She lifted her eyes and opened her mouth to respond, only to stop short when she saw Jane leaning over Thomas Bourne's body, staring at him with exaggerated lust. "Hey there, Joe," the detective rasped seductively. "You seem like you've had a…rough day, am I right?"

Maura chuckled. Jane hammed it up a little more and ran one finger down the man's arm. "Let me take you out tonight. There's an old haunt down by the church. Folks call it 'The Graveyard'. Everybody goes there to"—she raised her eyebrows pointedly—"get horizontal. Whaddaya say?"

Laughing freely now, Maura pulled off her purple gloves and gazed at Jane, who was still staring longingly at the corpse. "And you claim _I_ have a problem with flirting over dead bodies."

Jane glanced up, poker face flawlessly intact. "Well, when else am I going to do it?"

A charming smile settled on Maura's lips as she made her way around the table. "You make a very valid point." Arriving at Jane's side, she rested her hands briefly on the taller woman's elbows, then slid them down to entwine their fingers. "Of course I'll go out with you, Jane," she replied, staring sincerely into anxious brown eyes. "When would you like?"

Jane visibly relaxed. "How about tomorrow night?" She released one of Maura's hands and hopped up onto the empty autopsy table behind her. "Ma's got some big dinner planned for later on today, so I can take care of the necessary family reunion stuff tonight, and then tomorrow"—she clasped her other hand over Maura's and beamed—"I'll be all yours."

The trust and adoration in the detective's eyes caused something to stir in Maura. Involuntarily, her gaze dropped down to Jane's beautifully shaped lips, and she was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to kiss her. Her own grin faltered a little, however, as she reeled herself back in, knowing full well how much doubt still resided within Jane's mind. _She has to make the first move. It would be unfair of me to push her._

While she didn't register the ME's sudden interest in her mouth, Jane did catch the flicker of unease that crossed Maura's face, and immediately became concerned. "What is it?" she asked, sounding worried.

Maura quickly looked up again and, seeing the confusion on the taller woman's face, dropped her free hand reassuringly on top of one of Jane's. "Everything's fine," she replied, and meant it. "Dinner tomorrow sounds fantastic."

Another smile made its way onto Jane's lips. _Perfect. _"Perfect," she said, squeezing Maura's fingers gently. It's a date."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: **Three and a half thousand words, people. In one flippin' day. I'm pretty durn proud of myself! And, it's technically still Valentine's Day in…Kansas…so happy VDay, everybody! Here is my gift to you. Show me the love back, and review? :) I promise, you won't be disappointed. Happy reading!

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><p>At this point, Jane could no longer count the number of reasons for her mother to kill her on her hands. She was pretty sure they amounted to at least the usage of her left foot. The order of the reasons shuffled from time to time, though—it definitely kept her on her toes. As she stood, both hands on her hips, and stared around her room, there was no doubt in her mind which one would be at the top today.<p>

_If she walked in right now, I'd never see the light of day again._

To quote Angela from her younger years, when Jane and her brothers all lived at home, it truly looked like a bomb had exploded in her room. Instead of hydrogen, though, its main component—actually, its _only_ component—was clothing.

Feeling a bit more despaired by the second, Jane kicked aside a pair of black slacks and glanced disapprovingly at herself in the mirror. She had stripped down to her underwear about an hour ago and had made absolutely no progress since. _I'm starting to see where Maura's coming from, telling me I have 'nothing to wear'._

All of her jackets, pants, blouses and button-downs were thrown haphazardly on or around the bed—they were work clothes, definite "no"s for dinner that night. Near her bureau, a pile of old T-shirts and shorts had become Jo Friday's makeshift napping place; the mutt snoozed gently, opening one eye every once in a while when another piece of fabric hit the floor.

"Ugh! Why should this matter so much? She's seen me in everything under the sun!"

Jo gave a bored woof, and sneezed on her Ortiz jersey. Jane shot her a look from across the room. "Thanks. Like I haven't done enough laundry this week." Growling in frustration, she stalked back over to her closet and began shoving hangers aside. "Why…is this…so freaking…_difficult?_"

Out came the black dress her mother had tricked her into wearing for Joey Grant. Jane looked at it for a few seconds, remembered how Maura had called her "gorgeous" when she had it on, and tossed it onto the bed with her work clothes. It felt too…much. Most of the memories associated with the dress weren't that great, and besides, Maura _had _already seen her in it. Jane knew very well that Maura wasn't a fan of recycling clothes.

Next was the red one she wore for her third-attempt first date with Gabriel Dean. She tossed that over her shoulder without a single hesitation—no _way_ should she show up in the same clothes she was wearing the night of the hit-and-run.

"Alright, Janie, we're gonna work on this whole 'being a girl' thing."

The flowery skirt Angela forced her into for her cousin's wedding. The pencil dress that, while it looked nice, made her feel like she was being shrink-wrapped. Leggings…she wasn't even sure where they came from. Two more skirts. A blouse. Something with lace that she didn't look twice at. _Mother of pearl…_

Something in the back of the closet caused her to stop her furious, fabric-flinging frenzy. She reached out slowly and drew the piece forward to appraise it carefully. Pursing her lips, Jane ran a hand over the smooth fabric. "I think this might be it, Jo."

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><p>A few miles away, a similar clothing explosion had happened in Maura's room. It wasn't that she didn't have anything to wear, of course; she had been in and out of several different outfit choices already. No, the number of options wasn't the problem. What had Maura stumped and standing in her closet, covered only by a robe, was her anxieties about Jane and her level of comfort in this date. They had been out to dinner before, just the two of them, but it never really mattered what they were wearing. Now, while the theme for the evening <em>was <em>a little bit more romantic than normal, and casual clothing would not be acceptable, Maura found herself wondering: how dressy was too dressy? She ran a hand over a formal Vera Wang piece she had worn for one of her mother's more recent art exhibitions, and sighed.

"She's fine with taking me out because we've done this before, Bass, as friends," Maura puzzled, looking over her shoulder at her tortoise. "I'm just…I don't think she wants it to be obvious that we're on a date."

Bass, appearing dignified as ever, despite the fact that he had a sleek purple tank top on his shell, didn't respond.

"Some of these clothes are just…I don't know…" Maura shuffled aside some more designer dresses. "They're too _much_. You know? Like"—she began pushing hangers further down their racks one by one—"too _long_, too _formal_, too _shiny_, too _orange_, too _lacy_, too…"

She trailed off as her gaze fell on a simple, yet promising, black V-neck dress with an empire waist. Maura tugged it gently off its hanger and walked out of the closet, holding it up to herself in front of the standing mirror. _Not too short…it'll fall nicely…I believe it's exactly what she would want._

"What do you think, Bass? Should I wear it?"

The tortoise bumped against her bed in his slow attempt to rid himself of the tank top. Maura nodded to herself in the mirror. "Yes. I think so, too."

* * *

><p>Once again, Jane found herself hopping down the hall, trying to shove her flats on mere seconds before her date was due to arrive. "God, I <em>really<em> need to work out these timing issues…"

Jo Friday ran between her master's legs, barking excitedly at the prospect of seeing the one that smelled like flowers again. She made her master so happy. Is that why Jane wanted to smell like flowers tonight, too?

"Hey! Jo, I can't—_aaah!_"

THUD.

Jane growled up at the ceiling. "Great way to start off the evening, Jo!" she exclaimed, slipping a hand under her head to rub viciously the point of impact. "On my back with only one shoe."

A tentative knock came from the door. "Jane? Are you okay?"

The detective jerked upwards immediately. Maura was on time, no surprise. "Yeah…yeah, I'm good!" she called in reply. "Um…"

She scrambled to her feet and slipped on her other flat. Throwing her fingers through her hair and a scathing glare at Jo Friday, Jane skidded to a stop by the entrance to her apartment. She grabbed the doorknob and took a deep breath to calm herself. _Now or never, Rizzoli._

Jane opened the door.

Maura beamed at her, her eyes bright with excitement. "Hi."

Jane was stunned. "Hi."

The first thought that ran through her mind was something along the lines of _holy hell she looks amazing, _followed quickly by _that eye makeup is fantastic _and _mother of God, her hair_.

Maura's mind was running along a similar track. _How did she get her hair to fall like that? I love that lipstick color on her. She put on perfume…poppy…it's wonderful._

At the same time, the two women broke eye contact in order to see what date-night attire the other was sporting.

An awkward silence fell. After a few seconds, Jane raised her gaze again. Maura glanced up as well, looking a little bit more panicked than the detective. They simply stared at each other for a few moments before an smile crept onto Jane's face. She covered her mouth before she could laugh out loud, and muttered through her fingers:

"Maura…I think we're wearing the same thing."

That they were. The doctor had just so happened to have selected the one item of clothing she had in common with Jane. Both dresses had conservative V-necks, no sleeves, an empire waist that tied in the back, and a hemline that fell just past the wearer's knees. The only difference, besides size, was that Jane's dress was a rich purple, instead of stunning black.

The silence lasted a short time. Jane was so amused by the expression on Maura's face, and her own features were twisted up so comically in her attempt to stay quiet, that it took a very few seconds for both women to crumble and burst out laughing.

"Oh, my goodness, what were the chances of this happening?" Maura chuckled, resting her weight on one hip as she appraised Jane's outfit of choice.

"I don't know, but…I'm kind of glad it did." Jane reached left to grab her keys and small clutch from the table beside the door, and snickered when she turned back towards the hallway. "You look stunning, either way."

Maura smiled, but her face fell as Jane shut and locked the apartment door behind her. "Wait—we're going out like this?"

Jane paused, her eyebrows furrowed. "You want me to wear my work clothes?"

"Well, no…"

"Okay, then. We're going out like this." With another snort of laughter, Jane took Maura's arm and began to lead her down the hallway. "Besides, what's a first date without a little awkwardness to kick it off?"

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><p>"Well, I know it isn't The Bow Truck, but…" She raised her wine with a sheepish smile. "I hope it's okay."<p>

Maura grinned back and chinked her glass against Jane's, not about to correct her awful pronunciation. "It's perfect."

Jane had brought them to Par Le Mer, a low-key French restaurant off of Congress Street, just north of South Boston and less than half a mile from the harbor. They were seated by the windows at a cozy table for two, a comfortable amount of space between them, waiting patiently for their salads to arrive. Both women took a drink after their toast, and Jane swallowed quickly, eager to start their conversation.

"So," she began, pausing for just a moment to clear her throat, "I heard a rumor that living with my mother has rubbed off on Constance a little bit. Somebody needed a little bit of…persuasion, before she came after me in prison?"

Anxiously, Maura took another drink of wine. _Oh…so we're starting on the touchy stuff right away._ "Well…I wouldn't say I _needed _it, necessarily"—she took a deep breath—"but yes, my mother did come to me the morning before our first visit and…laid a few very plain things out on the table, in order to convince me to, erm…bring you back home.

Jane nodded slowly, biting her lip as she stared into the distance. "Sounds a lot like Ma to me," she noted, partially to herself.

Maura coughed uneasily, unsure of what she was supposed to say next. Jane's gaze snapped forward again, and she reached across the table to lay a hand briefly on the shorter woman's. "Maura, it's okay. I needed some help with this, too."

Minorly reassured, Maura bobbed her head, and her eyebrows furrowed. "Wait…where did you…?"

Jane pulled her arm back and grabbed her glass. "Well, there was this guy I met, one of my wardmates—"

"This _guy?_"

Quickly, Jane shook her head and waved a hand in the air. "Maura, he was old enough to be my dad. Don't worry about it."

"…okay."

"Right. Well, anyways, the story of how I got there came out—actually, just before you came by—and after you left, he noticed I was acting kind of weird, so…he asked me about it."

Maura processed this for a moment. "Does 'he' have a name?"

"Benji. Short for Benjamin." Jane nervously tucked her hands into her lap. "I should actually write him soon, he'd probably want to know how things turned out, with"—she gestured vaguely between the two of them—"_us_."

"So…I'm guessing he was a help to you?"

"Oh, yeah. Benji knew right away what was going down. He was in for the same thing as me, actually…refused to testify against his daughter-in-law. He said I'd never have willingly gone against the law unless cared about you deeply." She glanced up at Maura sheepishly. "Much more so than I thought I did."

That statement warmed Maura up a little bit. She gave Jane a small smile. "Well, I'm glad you found him."

Jane grinned back. "Me too."

At that point, their salads arrived, and they spent a few minutes in gentle silence, just eating and thinking. They order their main courses before picking up their conversation again, and this time, it was Maura who started.

"Jane…"

The detective looked up. Maura appeared somewhat unhappy, like she didn't want to finish her thought. _Weird. _Jane swallowed and sat up. "What is it, Maur?"

Maura sighed and gazed at the other woman apologetically. "I truly, truly hate to bring this up…but I have to know. What…what happened to Dean?"

This caused Jane's spine to stiffen. Maura rapidly started to explain her reasons for asking. "I mean, I knew he wasn't mortally wounded by my father's bullet, and the EMTs brought him in the same hospital as Patrick, but after that, I—"

Jane interrupted with a firm shake of her head. "It's done between us. Whatever…_weird_ thing we had, dancing around each other all the time…it's over."

An almost unnoticeable sigh of relief escaped Maura's lips. Jane pushed what was left of her salad around the plate absently. "I didn't go see him at all while he was in the hospital, or afterwards, for that matter. He came to me, though, about two weeks ago."

Maura nodded carefully. "What did he want?"

"He just wanted to know why it was over. And when I told him I understood that he was just doing his job…he knew there was someone else between us. There would always be someone else, keeping us from being together."

The ME didn't know whether to feel flattered or guilty. When she didn't respond, Jane glanced across the table and offered a small grin. "I'm _glad_, Maura. Yeah, I was attracted to him, but…that was it. There wasn't any substance. And, that made it…not worth another glance." She stared at her date with sincerity. "I can't tell you how happy I am that I'm here with you."

Maura smiled back radiantly. "I'm happy to be here, too."

From then right through dinner, their exchange was light and candid, just like it used to be. Jane couldn't believe how comfortable she felt around Maura again; going from complete estrangement to "I love you"s and a date in less than a week was overwhelmingly wonderful. She found herself unable to contain a grin several times over the course of the evening, and was delighted whenever the doctor returned it. _This is truly magnificent._

As they were finishing up, a thought popped into the detective's head. She and Maura had discussed so much over the past few days, and yet there was still one detail that escaped both their notice. _Hope._

She had to bring it up. Downing the last of her wine, Jane spoke up before she could talk herself out of it. "Hey, Maura…"

The heaviness in her tone caught the ME's notice. "Is something wrong, Jane?"

Jane shook her head. "No, it's just…" She cleared her throat and fidgeted in her seat. "Um…have you looked into Hope, at all?"

Maura froze for a moment. She glanced down and swallowed, taking her time to wipe her mouth and place her napkin back onto her lap before she replied. "I have not. I've neither had the time nor the resources to pursue the identity of my birth mother."

Pause. Jane studied Maura's face carefully. "Have you thought about asking Frost to do some research for you?"

"No."

Jane bit her lip. She didn't want to push this topic, but at the same time…"Would you…be willing to reconsider that, sometime in the near future? Because I would…I want to help you out. I know how much it means to you, and I want to make it happen. I want you to be able to meet your biological mother."

Another silence fell. Maura took a deep breath, and glanced up with a bit of a forced smile. "I would like that, at some point…but"—she reached over and took Jane's hand in her own—"can we discuss it some other time? I just want to be here, right now. With you."

Nodding, Jane grinned gently. "Okay."

The two of them looked at each other for a few moments, just enjoying their closeness. That is, until, Jane realized that Maura had been holding her hand for longer than was acceptable for a pair of friends. She was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that they were in public—a very few miles away from her childhood home, in fact—and jerked away from Maura, the fear of having somebody she once knew seeing them even remotely intimate overwhelming her want to be close to the doctor. "I…"

Maura's eyes went wide as she realized her mistake. "Oh…oh, no, Jane, I'm so sorry—"

"No, Maura, I didn't mean—"

"I shouldn't have done that, Jane, I know how you feel about this—"

"I just don't think I'm ready to—"

They both stopped talking abruptly as they became aware of somebody standing next to their table. Both women turned to see their waiter, holding out the check, a surprised look on his face. "Um…should I come back?"

Jane and Maura glanced at each other. "No, we're fine."

* * *

><p>The ride back to Jane's apartment could definitely qualify as awkward. Both women were feeling guilty for different reasons: Maura, because she felt she had pushed Jane over a line she wasn't ready to cross yet, and Jane, because she was a little ashamed of the limitations she unintentionally put on herself. Neither of them wanted to be the first to speak, so the whole trip passed in silence.<p>

Maura decided to walk Jane back to her apartment before she returned home. Rubbing her arms anxiously, she followed the detective, silently encouraging herself to speak. _She took a huge step today, Maura. Don't let that slip away because of some little mistake._

Just inside Jane's apartment, Maura unexpectedly pulled the detective into a gentle embrace. "Thank you for dinner," she whispered, tucking her head into her shoulder. "I had a very nice time."

Jane rested her chin on Maura's head and hugged her back. "Thank you so much for…well, everything," she murmured, feeling an odd strain in the pit of her stomach. "I was afraid you wouldn't…you would…"

Slowly, Maura pushed back so she could look into Jane's eyes, her hands on the taller woman's forearms. "We'll move at your pace, Jane. It's okay. I completely understand. We needed to talk, you still need some time, and I have no problem giving you space or help. Whatever you need."

Jane's expression faded from worry to surprised gratitude, mixed with something else the doctor couldn't identify. "You're sure?" she whispered, almost disbelievingly.

Maura slid her hands down Jane's arms and squeezed her fingers, love and compassion written in every inch of her face. "I'm in this for the long haul."

With one last smile, Maura attempted to release Jane and walk out of the apartment, but a tight grip on one of her hands caused her to stop. She turned back around to face the taller woman, confused.

A fire had been lit inside the detective; something about Maura's words sent her reeling. Behind her eyes, Jane's mind was working overtime. No coherent thoughts were breaking through—just a mess of different sensations, all eagerly encouraging her to do just one thing.

A couple of beats passed with the two women simply looking at each other. Then, swiftly, Jane lifted her arm, tucked her free hand behind Maura's neck, and kissed her.

It was short, sweet, and simple, but to both of them, it held all the meaning in the world. Another barrier had been broken down between them; after everything that had happened between the two, after everything they talked about today, they were ready to move forward. Whatever was broken could now be fixed, and whatever walls were put up could now be taken down. The long road ahead could be managed. Together.

Jane delicately pulled away from Maura and opened her eyes, not realizing she had closed them until she saw the lips she had just kissed stretch into a large grin. Maura's eyes flicked open and she stared blissfully at Jane, reaching around to place her hand over the one still on her neck. _Finally._

"I really do love you, Jane."

Emotion upon emotion crashed through the detective as she leaned her forehead against the shorter woman's. _Finally_.

"I love you, too, Maura."

* * *

><p><strong>AN2: **_All the Rizzles-fuzzies!__!_


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **I'm so sorry about being MIA for a little while, guys. Life got in the way big time, and then the site wouldn't let me upload :/ but I'm back now, and ready to get going again! Now, I have to let you know—there's more of me in this chapter than in any previous one, so please go easy on me? Let me know what you think of Jane's voice in this one, I'm a little bit worried about it. Thanks so much! :3

Oh, and before I go, I wanna give a shout-out to my friend itsLisey. She's been really supportive through the last dozen chapters and I'd like to give her a huge "thank you" for all the encouragement she's given me. Go check out her page, she has some really great stuff in the works!

Happy reading!

* * *

><p>Jane lay in her bed, tossing and turning, unable to find a comfortable position. Seated at her feet, Jo Friday stared at her master with disapproval, displeased with the unsolicited ride the writhing detective was sending her on by bouncing the mattress. After several long, unsteady minutes, the mutt barked loudly in annoyance. <em>What was the matter with her?<em>

With a sigh, Jane flipped herself onto her back and stretched her neck to stare down at the dog. "Jo, my moral compass is going crazy right now. Could you give me a minute?"

Jo barked again and jumped off the bed, trotting off to sleep on the couch. Jane growled and rubbed her eyes in frustration. "Okay. I have to do something about this." Slowly, she dropped her fingers down to her mouth. As silly as it sounded, she could still feel Maura's warmth on her lips. She shut her eyes and exhaled slowly; the sensation was reassuring…yet unsettling. _How is that even possible?_ With another moan, Jane ran her hands roughly over her face. "Oh, my _God_…"

Something clicked. Jane froze, fingers entangled in her hair. _Wait. That…just may be it. That might be _exactly _who I need to talk to._ Returning her arms to her side, Jane stared up at the ceiling with apprehension. _I hope this works_. She wrung her hands together, unsure of how to start. _I guess…a simple greeting would be a good way to begin, maybe?_

"Um…hey, Big Guy." No, that didn't sound right. "Uh…Sir. Lord? Yeah. Hey, Lord. Er…" Nervously, she chewed on her lip. "So, here's the thing. I like You. And…You like me, I hope. I mean…yeah, I might take Your name in vain a few times more than _really_ necessary, and"—she gestured vaguely in the air—"my job may force me to behave a bit…_unorthodox_ at times…but I visit You on Sundays, whenever I get the chance. And…I talk to You sometimes, otherwise! Like right now! So…yeah…"

Jane paused with her hands in the air, and realized how dumb she was starting to sound. With a sigh, she dropped her arms to her sides. _Just get to the point_.

"Look, Lord…" She rubbed her forehead with one hand and shut her eyes. "This whole…guilt thing…well, isn't really working out for me. I'm not having a lot of fun, here. I mean…" Frustrated, Jane dug the heels of her hands into her eyes. "Are you _really_ expecting me to choose between You and Maura? Because I don't want to do that. At all. And, I don't think it's fair. I mean, us Catholics aren't the only kinds of Christians out there. We're a large percentage, sure, but what about all the Protestants? Why don't _they_ have to feel the same way we do? How come they get to love You and your Son and anybody else they want to and not feel guilty about it? Not to mention all the other religions that love You, too. _They_ don't feel like this. Why is it just us?"

Biting her lip, Jane sighed again and reeled herself back in. "Look, I'm not trying to blame You for anything, okay? Or call out anybody else's beliefs. It's just…I'm just angry. I hate feeling this pressured. Even though, you know, free will and stuff. And"—she jabbed a finger at the ceiling—"if we're gonna start pointing fingers here, _You_ should have told me I felt this way about her a long time ago. So…yeah. Don't look at _me_ and tell _me_ I made a mistake. _You _could have stopped it with…I don't know…some sort of sign. Like, lightning striking me down. Whatever You prefer."

_Stop talking, you moron. You don't want Him to smite you; what the hell are you even talking about?_

"Okay, no, that's not what I meant." She balled her hands into fists and smacked herself in the forehead. "Nobody deserves to be struck, okay? Keep the lightning to yourself, please. I just…I just want a sign. Is that too much to ask for? I hear all these stories about You sending people signs to tell them whether or not they're heading in the right direction with their life. Am I…I don't know, _good_ enough for one? Desperate enough? You talk to Your people all the time, apparently, Lord, so…talk to me, please."

Jane inhaled shakily and quickly wiped her eyes, feeling herself deflate. "I'm so confused. I try to follow in Your footsteps, whenever I can. But I love Maura, so much. Please…let me know this is all going to be okay. _Please_."

* * *

><p>On the other side of town, Maura was trying to get comfortable in bed as well. Unlike Jane, she couldn't have been happier about how the night had turned out. Though it was awkward at times, all was forgiven when the detective kissed her, sending her on an absolute tailspin. A smile crept onto her face as she fingered her mouth, remembering how soft and perfect Jane's lips felt. <em>It was so right. So very, very right<em>.

There was something bothering her, though, and Maura believed that was why she hadn't fallen asleep yet. Beneath her joy, a feeling of doubt had settled in the pit of her stomach, growing slowly yet steadily larger the longer she was awake. She rested a hand briefly on her abdomen, simply breathing in and out for a moment. Something about the doubt felt distanced and unfamiliar…it was like the sensation didn't belong to her.

_Is this what Jane is feeling, right now?_

Maura tried to close her eyes, clinging on to the happy ending of their date. _It's nothing. Might just be something you ate._

But the sensation wouldn't go away. Eventually, Maura gave up and rolled onto her back, sighing irritably at the ceiling. _There must be something wrong with Jane. I can find no scientific explanation for it, but that must be the problem._

She considered her options for a second, then reached towards her bedside table and grabbed her phone.

* * *

><p>A buzzing noise near her head jolted Jane out of her warped prayer cycle. She groped blindly for a few seconds before she found her cell under her pillow, wondering who in the world would be texting her so late. Her stomach lurched when she realized the text was from Maura. "Jesus, God," she breathed, opening up her inbox. "You work fast sometimes." Anxiously, Jane began to read the message.<p>

"_I know you're worried about how quickly we should be moving, if at all. I can only imagine how hard it is, but remember- I'll always be here for you, no matter what. Get some sleep, now. I love you. ~Maura"_

A grin slowly spread across her face as she read the message several more times. Glancing up at the ceiling, Jane nodded to her Lord. "Thank you," she whispered.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: **You all made me very happy with your positive reviews of last chapter :) I'm glad to know that Jane's prayer/rant didn't seem too OOC; I was afraid it might. But your feedback put my mind at rest and I am grateful. Now, in this chapter, we start to tread some…dangerous waters. And that is all I will say on the subject. :3

On a side note, I'm in the middle of writing a unique two-shot, so I hope you all will keep an eye out for it! I won't give away the plotline, but…let's just say I'm having a lot of fun messing with Jane and Maura in a way they have not been messed with before ;)

Happy reading!

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><p>Boredom. Jane didn't do boredom. Usually, whenever it came knocking at her door, she'd sleep it away, work it away, or drink it away. Unfortunately for her, that rainy Wednesday morning had dawned at noon, so sleep wasn't coming back anytime soon. Anybody she'd typically drink with was at work, leaving Jane with…boredom.<p>

"_Jo!_"

At the sound of her name, Jo Friday came faithfully running into the living room. She halted next to the couch with tail wagging, head tilted inquisitively at her master.

"Entertain me."

Jo barked. Her master was laying upside-down on the couch, her ankles crossed over the back, her head on the floor. "Come on, girl, I'm so _bored_."

Unsure of what else to do, Jo bounded forward and began licking Jane's face. The detective sputtered and tried to push the dog away. "Okay…alright, I'll get up!" With a groan, she flipped herself around and drew Jo Friday into her arms. "You must be hungry, huh? Did I forget to feed you?"

The mutt licked her master's chin once. Jane kissed her head. "Yeah, let's get breakfast."

Jane was in the middle of enjoying her second bowl of Captain Crunch when somebody knocked at her apartment door. Swallowing, she waved her spoon at nothing. "It's open!"

Tommy slipped through the door, damp from the rain and smiling. "Hey, Janie."

"What's going on, Tommy, don't you have a job to go to?" Jane replied, not unfriendly.

"Switched shifts with one of the weekend guys, so today's my day off." Tommy came over to the kitchen and peeled off his jacket, dropping it carelessly on the counter next to his sister. Jane immediately raised her hands and stared at her brother, her spoon between her teeth.

"Really, Tommy?"

One hand on the refrigerator door, Tommy shot her a cheeky grin. "I see the joint didn't loosen you up at all, sis."

Jane pulled the spoon out of her mouth and growled. "Funny, Tommy, real funny."

"Alright, too soon to joke." He peered inside the freezer first. "Look, I'm just glad Maura got you out of there." Not liking what he saw, he opened the other door and rummaged through the fridge. "What did she say, anyways, to convince you to come home? From what Frankie told me, you seemed pretty hell-bent on serving full time."

Jane took another bite of cereal, chewing slowly to give herself more time to consider her answer. "Um…"

Tommy pulled his head out of the refrigerator and stared at his sister. "Look, if it's some sort of chick thing that I wouldn't understand—"

"Oh, you'd understand it," Jane replied, and quickly shoved another spoonful in her mouth to shut herself up.

Tommy shut the door and leaned against the sink, Jane's half-empty carton of milk dangling from one hand. "What, did she just tell you she forgave you and to go testify like everybody else involved?"

Jane glanced up, not for the first time wishing Tommy hadn't been forced into all the Paddy Doyle drama. "Basically."

As she finished off her cereal, Tommy watched her closely. The gears in his head were turning. Jane was stubborn; Maura's forgiveness and a simple request would not have been enough to convince her that testifying was the right thing to do. Close, but no cigar. Maura must have said something else.

Tommy took a swig of milk. For two people who had just resolved a six-week fight, Maura and Jane seemed unusually happy during the family dinner earlier that week. _Why?_ After a couple more seconds, something clicked, and Tommy slowly crossed the kitchen to stand across from his sister. When nothing was said, Jane looked up indignantly. "What?"

With a completely straight face, he asked her: "Did you and Maura go out last night?"

Jane froze. She swallowed heavily and cleared her throat. "How do you mean?"

There was his answer. If it was like before, she would have said something like "Yeah, we met Frost for drinks down at the Robber" or "No, we stayed here and watched the game". No double meanings, no guesswork. They were friends hanging out. But now, something had changed. With an enormous sigh, Tommy dropped both his hands on the counter and hung his head. "Janie, you know Ma's gonna kill you when she finds out, right?"

"Finds out what?" Jane asked, the panic in her voice obvious.

The younger Rizzoli looked up. "About you and Maura."

_Shit_. For a split second, Jane considered denying it. She considered telling her brother that nothing was going on, and leave the discussion for another day. But then she realized that, if anybody in her family was to be the first person to know, it should probably be the person who was least likely to condemn her for breaking some sort of moral code. With a groan of defeat, Jane dropped her head into her hands. "Oh, _God_…"

"Hey, look, I'm not one to judge." Tommy straightened and grabbed Jane's empty bowl, bringing it to the sink. "I mean, how many Commandments have I broken in my lifetime?" He came back and picked up the milk. "Enough to give Ma the ulcer she had while you were at the Academy, that's how many."

Jane rested her chin on one palm and sighed heavily. Why did this have to be so troubling? She watched her brother take a long drink, puzzling over several different things. "Do you think that the Bible says something against feeling this way?"

"Jane, do I look like I've read the Bible from front to back?"

Jane shrugged. "I just mean, would you believe it if a psalm or parable actually said 'Thou shalt not accidentally fall in love with thy best friend'?"

Tommy lowered the carton from his mouth, a slight grin dancing on his lips. "Well, the Bible also says we shouldn't eat pigs and women should be submissive of their husbands. Last time I checked, though, Ma kicked Pop's ass for forty years, and like hell am I going to stop eating her pork chops."

That made Jane crack a smile. "Yeah, that's true." She ran a hand through her hair and straightened with another huff. "I'm just worried about telling her. And Frankie. And Pop. Oh God, Pop. How the hell is he going to react to this?"

"What, the guy who left Ma and is shacking up with some bimbo in Florida?"

Jane glared at Tommy. "Watch it, Tommy, the guy still raised you."

"Whatever, Jane. Let's not talk about him now, okay?" Tommy once again leaned against the counter and stared his sister in the eye. "The point is, whenever you decide to tell Ma, and no matter how she reacts, you've still got me. Alright? I'm here for you and Maura, no matter what."

Truly touched by her brother's words, Jane smiled, but she couldn't stop herself from quipping "When did you become such a sap, Tommy?"

He grinned back. "When I found out I'm no longer the only troublemaker in the family." Coming around the counter, he grabbed his jacket off the corner and came up to Jane's side. "But honestly, Janie. If you need a witness, an ear, or just someone to knock Frankie's lights out, I'll be there."

Jane's smile widened, and she reached out to pull her brother into a hug. "Thanks, Tommy."

"No problem, sis." He pulled back and tugged on his jacket. "I've gotta go. But hey"—he pointed to her as he backed towards the door—"I should congratulate you."

"On what?"

"On taming the wild Isles. If not me, I'm just glad it was another Rizzoli."

Making a face, Jane picked up the carton of milk and tossed it at her brother. "This is yours now, wiseass. And don't go trying to kiss her again; I've got more than one reason to kick your ass from here to Pawtucket, now."

"Don't worry, I know she's off-limits." With one last grin, Tommy moved into the hall. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, Tommy."

Once again, her apartment was quiet. Jane glanced down at Jo Friday, who was still working her way through her bowl of food. "What do you think, Jo? Should I ever tell her?"

For once, the dog didn't respond. Jane laid her head in her arms and sighed into the countertop. "Yeah. We'll wait a little longer."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: **I'm sorry for the wait, guys; I wanted to get this chapter just right, and I think I've finally succeeded. I'll let you be the judges, though—let me know what you think? I always love hearing from you!

Happy reading!

"You're kidding me, right?"

Shaking her head, Maura slid the DVD into the player. "It's the most romantic and heartbreaking story to ever grace the silver screen, Jane, and they're re-releasing it in just a few months. You _have_ to see it at least once."

"But really? _Titanic_?" Jane sat on the arm of her couch with her legs crossed, teetering dangerously but not caring at all. "I'm pretty sure I know how it ends already."

Maura gave her a patronizing look as she passed into the kitchen. "You're missing the point. The movie isn't about the ocean liner and how it sank. It's about determination, spirit, hope, dreams…" She grabbed two glasses and the bottle of red wine on the counter and made her way back to the couch. "The plot's epicenter is the unconventional and unconditional love between Jack and Rose. Their passion for each other defies class, wealth, family, and tradition." Setting the wine down on the coffee table, Maura sat down and smiled up at Jane. "It's a story about defying the odds and love prevailing in the face of adversity."

Jane raised her eyebrows. "Really? Well, there's something I can sympathize with." She uncrossed her legs and slid fully onto the couch, forcing Maura to move over a few inches. She reached for the remote to start the movie, but a hand over hers caused her to stop.

"Jane."

The detective did a double-take, then looked at the doctor with concern as Maura slowly took the remote from her. "What? What's wrong?"

Maura glanced up, her eyes serious. "Off the topic of the _Titanic_…" She took a deep breath and visibly tensed. "I've decided that…it's about time for me to pay Patrick a visit."

It was like somebody had just dropped a boulder on her chest; this was something she was not expecting at all. _Wait…I thought this was all said and done. No more worrying about Patrick and…_Jane's hands involuntarily clenched into fists as an alarming thought raced by. _Does this mean she's…changed her mind?_

Feeling her stomach drop, she dismissed all previous assumptions and shifted so she was facing Maura completely, avoiding making contact with her. "You're…are you sure about this, Maura?"

The shorter woman dropped her gaze to her hands and nodded. "I still have some questions for him, and I'd rather not wait until he's behind bars to get my answers."

Jane stared at the ME. Pure terror had suddenly overtaken her. _Oh, my God, she doesn't want him to be imprisoned. She still hasn't forgiven me completely. Has this all been a mistake? What if…what if…_ Struggling to control her racing thoughts, Jane licked her lips anxiously and rasped, "When are you going?"

"Tomorrow."

_Tomorrow._ She honestly felt like crying. In her mind's eye, she saw Maura approach Doyle's hospital bed and, upon seeing his wounds, remember every detail of Jane's betrayal. She saw everything falling apart again. She saw herself on the witness stand and the hurt in Maura's eyes as Doyle was led away to his life sentence. She saw herself once again at her desk, sending Frost or Korsak downstairs to collect autopsy reports and evidence files. Weeks and months of loneliness suddenly loomed before her. _Oh, my God…I can't testify. I can't do this, I can't lose her like that again because of a stupid mistake_. She dug her fingernails into her palms and blinked rapidly, as if just remembering that Maura was sitting right there. _Shit…shit Rizzoli, calm down…_

"I"—she cleared her throat—"I'll call Korsak and have him contact Doyle's security detail. He'll make sure you're clear to visit." She found herself saying this without even thinking. "O-okay?"

Maura heard Jane's voice wavering and looked up in alarm. "Jane?"

The detective was simultaneously struggling to not get lost in her own head and keep any and all signs of the effort off her face. "Yeah, Maur?"

More than a little distressed, Maura took one of Jane's hands and flinched at how clammy it was. "Jane, are you okay?"

"Yeah." Jane nodded as if she was completely certain. "Yes. Let's just…" She fumbled for the remote with her free hand. "Let's just watch the movie, okay?"

Maura was quick to stick the remote behind her back and grab onto the taller woman's wrist. "Jane, look at me."

She hesitated, but did raise her eyes to meet Maura's. They stared at each other for a few tense seconds before astonishment crossed the ME's face. "Jane, you don't think…" she whispered.

"Don't think what?" Jane replied, trying to sound casual.

Maura sighed heavily. Gently, she moved to grasp both of Jane's hands and stared her directly in the eye. "Listen to me," she said firmly. "No matter what he looks like, no matter what I ask, and no matter what he answers…I _will_ be coming back. Okay? I know what you did, and why you did it, and I've forgiven you. You _must_ understand that."

The corners of Jane's eyes began to sting. "Maura…"

"Jane. Please. Don't go back to that place in your mind." Maura squeezed Jane's fingers. "No more steps backwards. I'm not planning on leaving you…so you better not be leaving me."

A couple of tears jumped ship and started making their way down Jane's cheeks. Maura smiled sadly when she saw them, and reached up gently to wipe the wetness away. "We're both still a little bit broken," she whispered. "But I want _us_ to be the puzzle piece that brings it all back together. Not Paddy. Not the BPD. Not the trial. You and me, Jane. That's all there's going to be once this whole thing is over…and I truly believe that will be more than enough. I love you so much, Jane, and I promise I will never stop."

Jane was positive her heart skipped a beat. There weren't any words to describe what that beautiful pledge did to her…saying "I love you" wouldn't be nearly enough. _Jesus, Mary and Saint Joseph…_no…they were beyond words at this point. She had to show how she felt. Tears streaking down her face, Jane leaned forward and kissed Maura as hard as she could. She reached up to cup the blonde woman's cheek as their mouths moved together for several long, mind-blowing seconds. As Maura reached up to slid a hand behind Jane's neck, a sob broke through the brunette's lips and she pulled away, dropping her chin and putting a hand over her face. "God, Maura, I…I'm sorry…"

"Oh, no, Jane, don't be!" Gentle hands cupped her cheeks and coaxed her to meet Maura's eyes. "I didn't mean to scare you like that. I promise, nothing will keep me away from you again. Okay?"

Jane inhaled shakily and nodded violently, unable to speak. Maura smiled softly and stroked some loose strands of hair behind Jane's ear. "Hey," she whispered. "Jane Rizzoli is too tough for tears, yeah?"

That remark brought a small grin to Jane's face. "I love you, Maura," she rasped, beyond relieved.

Maura's smile widened. She pressed her lips tenderly to Jane's forehead, nose, and cheek before placing a sweet kiss on her mouth. "You still want to watch the movie, or has this been enough of an emotional rollercoaster for one night?"

Jane let out a laugh and shook her head. "Let's just do it. It's what you came here for, right?"

Maura smiled. She reached around to pick up the remote, pressed 'play', and turned around to recline against Jane. As she settled into the detective's arms, she muttered, "You know I came here for you."

Taking one last deep breath to calm herself completely, Jane dropped a kiss onto Maura's head and tightened her grip on the doctor. "I know. I know."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** Thank you all so much for your lovely reviews of the last chapter. We're on the home stretch, now; I've about four or five more updates for you before we bring this story to a close. But keep this in mind- it may not be the end of the tale. I might have something more up my sleeve…;)

On another note, I've a little something for you all at the end of this chapter. Brace yourselves, and don't forget to review! Happy reading!

* * *

><p>It was sunlight that roused Jane from a deep sleep the next morning. She yawned enormously and groggily attempted to open her eyes. <em>God dammit, I forgot to close the curtains again?<em> Squinting up at the ceiling, she grumbled out a number of curses and lifted a hand to rub sleep from her eyes, only to suddenly become aware of an enormous weight on her chest. Blinking rapidly, she stared down her body and came face-to-head with a mess of flaxen hair, attached to arms, a torso, two legs entangled with hers…_oh, shit_.

"Crap, Maura…"

At the sound of her name, the medical examiner stirred. Jane let out a low growl and dropped her arms, one of them landing across Maura's stomach. "We fell asleep during that damned movie."

Slowly rousing, Maura let out an enormous yawn and attempted to stretch her legs. "That's okay," she muttered, absently dismissing the fact that she couldn't really move her bottom half. "Jack dies saving Rose, she takes his name as her own in memoriam, and ninety years later she's lived a long and happy life with kids and he winds up on a beach in Limbo."

Jane looked down at her sleepy friend, surprised. After a few seconds she started to laugh. "Okay, this is the last time we watch two DiCaprio movies in a row."

Maura yawned again and slid her fingers in between Jane's. "It's been a number of weeks, but you get the point." She tilted her head upwards and smiled at the lanky brunette. "Hi."

"Hi." Jane grinned back. "You've got a walk of shame to go on today."

Maura laughed. She sat up on the edge of the couch and lifted Jane's arm over her head. "Well, I took today off, so nobody who saw me yesterday will necessarily see me in these clothes again." She stretched her limbs as far as she could stand it, and Jane sat up as well.

"Yeah, except for my babysitter out there…" The detective rubbed a hand over her face and felt her stomach clench uncomfortably. "Shit, they switch off every evening, don't they?"

"I believe they do." Maura gave Jane's knee a squeeze before she stood up. "Don't worry. I'll find something to change into so it doesn't look like a booty call."

Jane's stomach flipped again at the casual innuendo. "Aw, Maura…" She shoved a hand through her hair and called over her shoulder as the blonde walked down the hall. "You're not staying for breakfast?"

"Well, considering the fact that I plan on being back here for lunch, I wouldn't want to impose on you for a meal I'm not very hungry for," came the answer from the bedroom.

"You wouldn't be imposing," Jane muttered to herself. She was tugging her hair back in a loose ponytail when something cold and wet on her ankle caused her to jump. She looked down to see Jo Friday staring up at her with wide eyes. Smiling slightly, the detective picked up her dog. "You, on the other hand, have no problem begging me for food, do you?" she said, carrying the mutt to the kitchen.

Maura came out as Jane was pouring coffee into a travel mug, dressed in a light green blouse and simple black pants that she'd left at the apartment a couple months before. "These smell surprisingly fresh for having been sitting in a drawer for weeks, Jane," Maura remarked, tugging at the sleeves of the top.

"I tossed them in the wash with some of my things a few days ago. Thought I'd give them back to you at some point."

"Well, that was very considerate. Thank you." Maura accepted the mug with a grin and took a sip. Jane leaned back on the counter and gave her friend a quick once-over, anxiety settling into her stomach.

"You sure you don't want to stay?"

Maura lowered the coffee and looked the taller woman in the eye. "I just want to get today over with, Jane," she replied softly after a pause. "Ask him what I need to ask him, say what I need to say…I'd like to finally be able to move on."

Jane nodded slowly. _Move on_. "Okay. I understand."

Maura smiled gently. She took a couple steps forward, grasped Jane's wrist, and kissed her cheek. "I'll be back this afternoon." With that, she turned around and headed for the door. Jane watched her as she donned her jacket and grabbed her purse, and smiled when the doctor looked over her shoulder with a grin. "Bye."

"Bye."

The door shut. Jane dropped her head back and let out an enormous sigh. "Am I overreacting, Jo?"

The dog ignored her.

* * *

><p>Maura exited Jane's building, digging for her keys in her purse. She shot a friendly smile at the uniform parked on the sidewalk, who did a double take when he saw her. He waved back half-heartedly when she raised a hand at him, and Maura turned away, suddenly feeling nervous. The only responsibility Jane's detail had was to make sure she didn't leave the city until the trial was over, but when she glanced back over her shoulder, Maura noticed the man was still watching her.<p>

_Is this…conflict-of-interest? Being with me couldn't hurt their chances in the trial, could it?_

Shaking her head, Maura got into her car and started it. _You're just worried about seeing Patrick,_ she thought as she turned onto the street. _Stay focused on getting through the rest of this morning._

* * *

><p>Jane flopped down on the couch with a bowl of Trix and flicked on the television, settling back into the cushions. She stared unseeingly at Sports Center's Red Sox predictions, too busy worrying about Maura to care. <em>It's perfectly reasonable that she should want to see her father before he's imprisoned for the rest of his days. She needs some sort of closure. She has to properly shut that door and start moving forward…start looking for Hope.<em>

Jo Friday padded around the couch and jumped up next to Jane, lying so her muzzle was in the detective's lap. Jane set her cereal down on the coffee table and stroked the dog's head gently. "I hope she gets a last name out of him, at least, Jo," she said. "I want her to find her mother."

* * *

><p>Maura walked towards the visitor's entrance attached to the hospital's parking garage, nervously tugging at her clothes. She had no idea what Paddy would say to her once she was inside, or if he'd even say anything at all. <em>He must know why I didn't come to see him. He must know what his actions put me through.<em>

All she really wanted was a name. Yes, it would be nice to know how he found out about the entrapment mission at the warehouse, or if he was actually aiming to shoot either Jane or Frost after taking down Agent Dean…but her desire for those facts paled in comparison to her need to know her biological mother's last name. _I have to be able to find her. Ask her why she left. Why she didn't want to know me. Did she keep in touch with Patrick?_ Maura shut her eyes and rubbed a hand over her forehead, continuing to walk towards the door. _Breathe, Maura. Just breathe. You'll know soon enough._

* * *

><p>A knock on the door cause both dog and owner to look up from their respective spots on the couch. Jane glanced over her shoulder at the clock on the wall, and noticed it had only been about ten minutes since Maura left. "You think she forgot something, Jo?"<p>

The dog woofed. Jane stood up and walked towards the entrance to her apartment, a smile creeping onto her face. "You know, if you forgot something, you can just pick it up later, yeah?" she called out, and opened the door without further ado.

"If I forgot what?"

Her smile disappeared, and all the color drained out of Jane's face. She gaped open-mouthed into the hallway for several long seconds before she finally found her voice again.

"Ma, what are you doing here?"

* * *

><p>About twenty yards from the visitor's entrance, Maura unexpectedly felt a hand clamp over her mouth. Her arms were pinned to her side by another from behind, and she was dragged sideways into the shadows of the garage. Terrified, Maura struggled fruitlessly to get free, but whoever had her came to a standstill just out of view of the hospital door. She whimpered when the grip on her tightened and suddenly felt hot breath on her neck.<p>

"Don't scream, Doctor Isles."

* * *

><p><strong>AN2: **I'm giving you a choice, dear readers: do you want to see Jane's chapter next, or Maura's? I know exactly how each of them will play out, and whichever one goes first does not affect the storyline at all, so tell me what you want! Would you like to know what's happening to Maura, or read the much-anticipated Angela chapter first? It's all up to you guys!


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:** *peaks out from behind couch* Err…hi, guys. Long time no see. *slids into view* I'm so, so sorry to have left you hanging for this long. Real life was kicking my ass, and on top of that, the dialogue in this chapter was flat-out _refusing_ to come out of me. I promise, the next one will come much faster; I've had the dialogue for that one since…a long time. Anyways, if you're still with me, thank you so much for sticking around. You guys voted, and by a small margin, Maura's chapter won. So here you go—chapter 22 of Consequences (_finally_)!

* * *

><p>"Don't scream, Dr. Isles."<p>

Maura's gaze darted around. _Nobody. Why is nobody here?_ Panic flooded through her as she twitched in several directions, mentally rushing through every defensive technique Jane had ever taught her. _I can't use my arms or my hips…kick him in the shins? _She raised one foot and thrust the heel backwards, but her attacker anticipated the action and shifted position. He gripped her even tighter and whispered in her ear again.

"My name is Ryan and I'm Paddy Doyle's second. All his responsibilities fall on me the moment they shut his cell door, and I need to speak to him before that happens. If you want things with the mob to continue to run as smoothly as they have been, Doctor, I suggest you help me out."

_Like hell I will_.Maura considered biting him, but quickly realized his hand had arrested any and all movement of her jaw. Glancing down, she saw her purse lying on the ground a few feet away. _God, I wish I hadn't dropped that_. Letting out a series of frantic mutters, she felt another wave of panic as he shifted his hold.

"I'm not the one threatening your future, Doctor Isles. What happens if word gets out that you're his daughter?"

Maura's stomach dropped. _No…_

Ryan pressed on. "He won't be there to protect you anymore. You'll be in a lot of trouble…more trouble than that detective of yours can handle."

_What the hell is that supposed to mean?_ "You…" Maura angrily attempted to speak through his hand, trying as hard as she could to free herself.

"Hey, hey, _hey_." Ryan emphasized the final _hey_ with a shake, and she immediately stopped moving. He growled into her ear. "I'm going to let you go. If you want, you can scream, but I've no intention of getting caught, and you and that detective of yours will be on your own. Got that?"

Without waiting for an answer, he released her and Maura stumbled forward, gasping for air. She spun around and recognized the man—he was the one that broke into her house when Patrick had been shot. She looked him up and down, breathing heavily. "So," she panted after a moment, "if I bring you in with me…he'll tell you how to protect me?" Her eyes flashed with anger. "Teach you how to interfere in all the right ways?"

Ryan's expression didn't change. "Exactly."

Maura stared at him. His eyes, so wild when he demanded she fix Paddy, were cool and devoid of any emotion. "And if I say no?"

"I know so much about you, Doctor. More than you want people to know. More than it would be _safe_ for people to know."

She straightened a little. "Is that a threat?"

"Is that a yes?"

Their staring contest continued for a few long seconds. Then, without a word, Maura gave an almost imperceptible nod. She turned around, swept her purse off the ground, and started for the entrance again. Ryan followed close behind.

* * *

><p>Two uniforms were stationed outside of Patrick Doyle's hospital room. As Maura and Ryan approached, they ceased their light conversation and stood at attention. One of them held out his hand to stop them. "Names?"<p>

"Doctor Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner." Maura pulled out her ID at the same time the second officer retrieved a dog-eared piece of paper from his front pocket. She surrendered her card and, after a moment, the officer nodded and handed it back to her. Both uniforms began to eye Ryan. The man didn't bat an eyelash as Maura waved off their suspicious stares. "He's with me."

The men exchanged a long look. For a second, Maura was afraid they wouldn't let either of them in, but the first officer nodded to his partner and opened the door. "You have ten minutes."

Paddy Doyle appeared to be asleep as the pair entered the room. He was hooked up to a small number of machines, all of which Maura could name and give a brief history of the origins of, but at the moment she only cared about getting Ryan out of there as fast as possible. She glanced sideways at her unwelcome companion and leaned forward slightly. "Doyle."

The old man's eyes opened immediately. His mouth twisted into something between a smile and a grimace as he looked from the ME to his second-in-command. "I never thought I'd see the day," he mumbled, his voice gravelly with exhaustion, "where you two would be standing together, so…amicably."

Ryan's shoulders tensed and Maura's fingers tightened around the straps of her bag. This was one of the moments where she absolutely hated Patrick Doyle; she would never stand amicably with any member of the Irish mob under normal circumstances. Glaring at Ryan, she said curtly, "Five minutes."

Without hesitation, the scruffy man stepped up to Patrick's side, crouched down, and began to converse with him in hushed tones. Maura stared anxiously around the room and was only briefly allowed to wonder what she should do to pass the time before her bag buzzed twice, signaling the presence of a new text message. Quickly, she dug through her purse and unlocked her phone.

_Ma here. Handling it. Love you. –Jane_

Her jaw tightened. "Dammit," she hissed through her teeth. The unusual number of spaces before "_Love you_" was making Maura nervous. She knew Jane's ticks—finger tapping was a sign of intense anxiety. _"Handling it"…_she must have said something by accident that made Angela suspicious. _And when Angela thinks one of her children has a secret…_ Maura shivered. Glancing up at Paddy and Ryan, who were still muttering to each other, she considered leaving for a split second. She'd go straight back to Jane's and talk to Angela, tell her everything was okay, either provide a distraction or help her understand…

Suddenly her stomach clenched, as if her being itself was rejecting the idea. That wasn't the right course of action at all. Maura took a deep breath and reconsidered. _Jane's a big girl. She has to deal with her mother on her own. Just be there when it's over, that's all you can do._ Shaking her head slightly, the ME opened up a new text message.

_I'll be back soon. You can do this. I love you, too. ~Maura_

As she dropped her phone back into her purse, Ryan stood up and laid a hand on Patrick's shoulder. Maura straightened, and the two of them made eye contact. Wordlessly, Ryan glanced back down at Paddy one last time before he started for the door.

Right beside Maura, the man hesitated. "I'm sure we'll see each other again."

"I pray that we don't," she replied curtly. "Leave the way you came."

When the door shut behind him, the room fell silent, save for the steady beeping of Patrick's heart monitor. Father and daughter simply looked at each other—one mildly intrigued, one stonily indifferent. After several long moments, Paddy took a deep breath and opened his mouth.

"I was thinking you wouldn't come at all."

Maura tilted her head to one side. "I almost didn't."

"So why did you?"

"Why did _you_?"

She didn't need to elaborate. Paddy looked away before he answered. "I had to."

"There were three officers in the building with me and two stationed outside," the ME bit. "You didn't have to."

Paddy inhaled slowly. He turned his eyes to the ceiling, and down to his feet. When he glanced over at his heart monitor, Maura knew the argument was over. She sighed, running a hand over the front of her blouse, and decided to switch gears. "How did you know I was going to be there in the first place?"

Pause. Meeting her eyes, Paddy breathed steadily for a moment before answering. "I hear things, I don't hear things…I'm always putting the puzzle pieces together."

Maura pinched her lips and nodded. _I can put puzzle pieces together, too_. "You were following me, ever since my mother's accident."

"You can understand why."

Her teeth clenched. "I had a detail. I had Jane."

"Ah. Detective Rizzoli." Patrick winced as he brought a hand up to his stomach. "She doesn't hold back, I can tell you that."

"_Don't_." Maura shook her head, hard. "You're beating a dead horse, Patrick. She did what she was supposed to do, and one can't argue with the facts. You were interfering with police business, wielding a firearm, and had just taken down two men—one you killed, and the other was a federal agent. You refused to lower your weapon, further endangering two more lives…lives of people I care about, nonetheless!" Realizing how loud she had become, Maura took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Jane had every right and reason to shoot you," she said in a low voice. "We are _not_ talking about this any more."

A long silence fell. Patrick simply looked at Maura, his expression unchanging, and the ME stared back with intensity. Neither of them seemed to want to look away first.

"You didn't come here to ream me out, did you?"

Letting a slow breath out through her nose, Maura felt herself begin to relax. "No, I didn't," she replied honestly.

Paddy let silence fill the room for several more seconds before he said, looking down at his hands, "Shannon."

Maura's forehead creased. "Excuse me?"

"Shannon." Patrick glanced up. "I'm assuming you came here for a name, so I'm giving it to you. Shannon."

A moment passed, and something clicked. Maura's eyes widened slightly. "You mean—"

"Yes. Hope Shannon. That's her whole name."

Her mouth may have been hanging open. She wasn't entirely sure. _I can't believe it._ After all these years of searching, giving up and searching again, Maura finally knew her birth mother's name. She opened and closed her mouth several times before she found words. "Well…so, where—"

"—should you start to look?" Paddy shook his head very slightly. "No idea. She left Boston a couple months after you were born. Never told me where she was going."

"Oh." Still reeling, Maura attempted to process all of this information. _I can find her now. I can actually locate my birth mother. All these years…all that searching and waiting and wondering…I finally know exactly who she is…_

A sudden knock caused Maura to jump. _Oh, goodness._ Clearing her throat, she leaned towards the door. "Yes?"

"Time's up, Dr. Isles," one of the officers said, his voice muffled through the wood.

All of a sudden, Maura's heart felt just a little bit heavier. She turned back towards the hospital bed, and noticed the light smile on Patrick's face. "What?"

Paddy gave a light shrug. "I was just thinking about your mother. You're a lot like her. I know you two will get along."

_If I can find her_. Sliding her bag into the crook of her elbow, Maura prepared to leave the hospital room. "Well. Thank you, Patrick, for giving me her full name. I do appreciate it."

Patrick heaved a long, tired sigh. "You speaking at my trial?"

"No, it's conflict of interest. I'm…still deciding if I want to watch."

_Knock, knock._ "Doctor Isles?"

"Yes, I'm coming!"

Feeling a little strange, Maura met Patrick's eyes, and nothing was said between the two for a couple moments. Then, Patrick asked, "Will you come to see me?"

Maura bit her lip. She thought about the very few times they had met, and how none of them were on her terms. She thought about how he was always there, in the shadows, and how, despite the resulting unfortunate consequences, he stepped up to protect her when her life was in danger. Yes, she could give him an hour every couple of years. "We'll see each other again."

The smile was back. Patrick gave a sigh of contentment and shut his eyes. "Take care of yourself, Maura. And keep an eye on that detective of yours. She's gonna give you a run for your money."

The door opened. "Doctor," the officer said, sticking his head inside the room. Maura glanced into the hall, and then back at her father. Patrick's breath was evening out as he allowed sleep to take him over. Inhaling deeply, the ME nodded one last time in his direction and left the hospital room behind. She made her way out of the building, thinking about everything they had discussed in their short time together. _That's it, then. This is the closure I've been looking for. Once the trial is over, I can start to search for her. Hope. Hope Shannon._

As she approached her car, Maura groped around for her keys and brushed her phone aside in the process. Her breath caught suddenly as what was happening back at Jane's place hit her like a ton of bricks. "Oh, God," she said aloud. "_Angela_." Without further ado, she slid into the front seat and jammed her key into the ignition. _I'm coming, Jane._


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:** I want to apologize in advance for everything that comes out of Angela's mouth in this conversation. This was, by far, the hardest chapter for me to write in this story. I had to recall a very sore memory of a similar conversation I had with my own mother a couple months back in order to really capture the emotions needed for a breakthrough…or maybe, rather, breakdown…like this. In real life, I never got so far as Jane does with her mother, but the argument was painful. I really shaved it down in order to keep from offending people too much, but…yeah, I'm extremely sorry for all the things Ma Rizzoli says here. Please, let me know what you think, and if I should change it at all. I'd love to hear your opinions.

* * *

><p>"Ma, what are you doing here?"<p>

"What, a mother can't drop by and see her daughter every once in a while?" Without waiting for an invitation, Angela pushed past Jane and walked into the kitchen, dropping the paper bag she had in her hands onto the counter. She glanced over her shoulder. "_Especially_ after said daughter has just been released from prison."

Snapping her mouth shut, Jane shut the door to her apartment slowly. "A stint of two weeks, Ma. And a _phone call_ would have been nice…"

Angela raised her eyebrows as her girl approached the counter. "I wanted to surprise you, but it sounds like I was _too_ much of a surprise. Who did you think I was, when you yelled through the door?" Suddenly, the elder Rizzoli leaned closer to Jane, causing the detective to retreat several inches. "Did you have a man here last night?" she inquired in a stage whisper, her eyes wide.

"Oh, God, Ma, no!" Jane pulled a face and waved a hand in the air. "That's the _last_ thing I want to be dealing with, after all this crap—some guy stumbling about the apartment, acting stupid and just being…" Stopping before she could dig herself into a hole, Jane settled for shaking her head hard. "No, Ma. Maura was here, that's all."

"Oh. Well, okay." Seeming satisfied, Angela began to pull various grocery items out of the paper bag and lined them up on the countertop. "I'm so glad you two are getting along so well again—for a while, I was afraid things would never go back to normal."

The detective couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. _Things have gone far past normal this time around, Ma_. "Yeah, I'm happy about it, too."

Angela glanced up and, noticing grin on her daughter's face, smiled as well. "You look like it." Continuing to empty the bag, she decided to touch back on the previous subject. "So, why would she be coming back later? Didn't she spend the night?"

Jane's stomach dropped. _Oh, crap. _She had to tell Maura that Angela was here. _I gotta warn her._ Taking a deep breath, she slipped a hand into her pocket and replied simply, "We've got a lot of catching up to do."

"Hmm." Angela picked up several cold items and made her way over to the refrigerator. The second her back was turned, Jane yanked out her phone and punched in a new message to Maura.

_Ma here. Handling it._

"Speaking of catching up, have you seen the last few episodes of _Salem West?_"

In her peripherals, Jane saw her mother turn around, and quickly slapped her phone against her leg. "Uh, no." The hospital procedural was the only television show she and her mother both watched, and Jane could barely remember half the characters. "Haven't watched in about a month."

"Well, good."

Surprised, Jane raised an eyebrow. Picking up a few other perishables, Angela gestured vaguely at her daughter. "These doctor shows, I don't know why I keep watching. Incurably sad, all of them."

She turned around again. Remembering what she was doing, Jane lifted her phone. She noticed a large number of spaces had appeared after "_handling it_"—apparently, she absently tapped the space bar repeatedly out of anxiety. Deciding to ignore it, the detective added a quick _"Love you"_ to the end of the text and hit the "send" button as Angela faced her again.

"…not to mention the plotline is going to Hell in a hand basket. _Writers_ these days…I swear, Janie, one of these days I'm going to gain some self-control, and just stop watching altogether."

Jane frowned; having lost track of the conversation briefly, she was a little confused. "We're still talking about _Salem West_, right? Ma, you love that show."

"Well…" Her mother shook a box of angel hair. "When they killed off Richard, I lost some interest in the story, and…do you remember those two women, Georgia and Felicity?"

"I think so…"

"Yes, well, apparently they're _lovers_"—the elder Rizzoli spat this word like venom—"andthey've up and decided they're going to have themselves a little wedding in a few episodes! Isn't that _great?_" she griped with as much sarcasm as she could muster.

A line appeared between Jane's eyebrows. She didn't like where this was going. "Well…what's wrong with that, Ma? I mean…to each his or her own, right?" she asked carefully, anxiously.

With a shake of her head, Angela opened one of the nearby cabinet doors. "I just think it's ridiculous, how much shows these days highlight these types of things." She shrugged and made her way back to the bag. "It happens, and I know it happens, but I don't need it to be thrown in my face every time I turn on the television!"

"…I highly doubt it's thrown in your face _every _time you turn on the TV, Ma," the detective ventured, feeling her face start to burn. She didn't like where this was going at _all_.

"You know what I mean, Janie." Angela sighed heavily and shook her head, examining the back of another box of pasta. "I honestly don't know what this world is coming to."

A sick feeling had settled into the pit of Jane's stomach, and it was quickly spreading to the rest of her body. She had listened to her mother complain about things like this before. Usually, to avoid conflict, she simply ignored her until the woman was tired of speaking, but this time it was really hitting home. "Why don't you stop watching the show, Ma, if you don't like that sort of thing?"

Angela looked over at her. "I just told you, Jane, I'm thinking about it."

"Well, how about you stop thinking about it and just do it already? I don't want to listen to you complain about it anymore!" Jane snapped suddenly, not at all surprised by the hostility in her tone.

Her mother, however, was. "Where in the world is this coming from?" she asked, more bewildered than angry that her daughter had spoken to her in such an unexpected, hateful way.

"This is coming from I'm sick and tired of hearing you preach your thoughts every time something comes up that you don't like!" Jane spread her arms wide and shrugged dramatically. "I _tried_ to like the same thing as you did, Ma. I thought it'd be nice to have _one_ thing to talk about with you, so _Salem West_ is the only thing not sports or John Wayne- related on my DVR! And now"—Jane jabbed a finger in her mother's direction—"because you decide you're too close-minded to even tolerate somebody thinking differently from you, we lose the one thing we have in common, and I have to listen to you complain about 'what is this world coming to', like two women in a relationship is the first sign of the apocalypse!"

Angela's mouth gaped. She set down the jar of mayonnaise in her hand with a loud _thunk_. "I have a right to my opinion, Jane," she replied sharply.

"Yeah? Then I have a right to say I don't ever want to hear you opinions again."

Angrily, Jane pushed away from the counter and made her way over to the refrigerator. Angela followed her with her eyes, jaw still hanging. "What has gotten into you?"

"You know what's gotten into me, Ma?" Jane slammed the refrigerator door shut, a bottle of water now clutched in one fist. "The lack of a filter you have between your brain and your mouth. You don't…_think_ before you let your opinions fly, and you don't seem to care about how much they might hurt somebody!"

Angela held up her hands defensively, her eyes wide. "How in the world am I hurting you, Jane? What I think about same-sex relationships in no way affects your life!"

"_No_, Ma! In no way should it affect _your_ life, what other people decide to do with the people they love!" Furiously, Jane slammed her unopened water next to the sink and turned away from her mother, hand over her mouth to keep an angry sob from escaping her lips. She hated this. She wasn't supposed to be this angry anymore. But when her mother spoke, something just…_snapped…_

Completely floored, Angela had dropped her hands and simply stared at the back of Jane's head for several long, tense seconds. When she couldn't take the silence any longer, she attempted to approach her daughter.

"Janie…"

"I'm in love with Maura."

Angela froze, and Jane squeezed her eyes shut, feeling tears spill out of her eyes. She was over the edge now, and there was no turning back. "I'm in love with Maura, Ma, and I…I didn't want to tell you this way, but…there you are." Turning around, Jane refused to look at her mother as she crossed the kitchen. "And I…_really_ need you to leave right now, because…" Her voice caught as she seized her mother's keys off the counter and shoved them into the older woman's palm, still not looking at her. "I can't…I can't do this. I'm sorry. Just…please, go."

Silence filled the apartment. Angela stared at Jane, fingers closed around her keys, thoughts racing. For once in her life, she was at a loss for words. She didn't know what to think, what to feel, what to say, or what to believe. Without even thinking about it, Angela brushed past her oldest child and walked straight to the entrance of the apartment. She pulled the door open and paused for the briefest moment, wondering if words would come to her, but they didn't exist. Angela made her exit into the hall, slamming the door shut behind her.

The second she was alone again, a gut-wrenching sob escaped Jane's lips and she dug the heels of her hands into her eyes, caught between the urge to throw the nearest breakable item at the wall and to crumble right to the of her feelings had rendered Jane completely motionless. _It never should have happened this way._ She hated herself for letting an onslaught of emotions shove her over the edge of this particular cliff. _We were supposed to be together. We were supposed to help her see right, see reason: not kick her out of the apartment after dropping the bombshell in a bout of fury. Ma's never going to come back here. She's never going to forgive me for this. I'd be lucky if I ever see her again._

She couldn't move. She never wanted to move again. In the middle of her kitchen, Jane Rizzoli stood, paralyzed by her mistakes, until her apartment door opened once again.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: **This story will get done, you guys. I promise. I haven't forgotten you, my lovelies! The updates will come!

On a side note, I'm a little bit afraid of this chapter. The confrontation at the end was difficult to write, and I really hope you all like it. Let me know, okay? I love you all! Happy reading!

* * *

><p>Jane was so wrapped up in her own thoughts, completely unaware of how much time had passed, that she didn't even flinch when Maura's hand suddenly folded around her wrist. "Jane?"<p>

When she didn't respond—whether or not she was able to, Maura wasn't sure—the shorter woman placed her other hand on Jane's cheek and attempted to look her in the eye. "Jane, what happened?" she asked softly.

Jane didn't move. She couldn't move. Nearly a full minute passed before Maura fully realized this, let out a small sigh and slid an arm around the taller woman's shoulders. "Come on," she whispered softly, leading her over to sit on the couch. "Just sit. I'm here," she hummed as she began to rub Jane's back gently.

The sound of her mantle clock filled the long, heavy silence between the two women. The detective kept her head in her hands as Maura ran her fingers slowly up and down Jane's spine and across her shoulders, wishing she could take all the hurt away. Slowly, she leaned over and murmured: "What can I do?"

There was a pause, and then Jane tipped sideways. Her cheek landed on Maura's shoulder and she nuzzled her head into the ME's neck, letting her arms fall to her sides. "Just…be my friend," she breathed heavily in reply.

Maura rested her chin atop her friend's head. "I can do that." After a few moments of silence, she felt tears soaking through her sleeve. With a small sigh of pity, Maura dropped a quick kiss on Jane's hair and wove her arm under her's. "Shh, it's okay," she soothed, and guided Jane to recline back on the couch with her. "We can sit for a while. We'll talk later. It'll be okay."

* * *

><p><em>BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM<em>…

The incessant pounding on her apartment door around an hour later left Jane with not a single ounce of doubt about who was on the other side of it. After jumping violently when the ruckus began, the detective flew out of her seat the moment she realized it wasn't going to stop. Reaching for the knob, she started to yell before she even opened the door. "For God's sake, Frankie!"

He stood in the hallway, positively fuming, but Jane was too angry herself to notice. "I hope you have enough to pay for damage—hey, I didn't say you could come in!" she exclaimed as he stormed past her into the apartment.

Frankie spun around, eyes snapping with anger. "What the hell did you do to Ma?"

Jane froze, still holding the door open, her eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean, what the hell did I do to Ma?"

"I _mean_"—without warning, Frankie's voice doubled in volume—"she showed up at my door about twenty minutes ago, suitcase in hand, and asked if she could stay with me for a few days."

A sick feeling settled into the pit of Jane's stomach. _Oh, shit_. She shut the door and crossed her arms, staring at her brother with what she hoped was annoyance. "Well, that _is_ strange," she said sarcastically, voice wavering a little bit. "Usually she just turns up and makes herself at home without anybody's permission."

"Don't try and talk your way out just yet," Frankie snapped, jabbing a finger in his sister's direction. "I'm not finished."

"Say what you need to say, then," Jane shot right back.

"Okay, so, she starts unpacking. Real quiet-like, very strange for her. So I ask her if she wants some lunch, and she doesn't respond."

"Get to the punch line, Frankie!"

"The punch line _is_," he shouted, staring daggers at his sister, "that when I go over to see if she's okay, I hear her muttering the Hail Mary over and over again! She hasn't done that since Tommy went off to jail!"

_Shit, shit, SHIT. _"So you just _assume_ that it was me who did something to her, right off the bat, Frank?"

"Yeah, considering she was _saying your name in between every other word!_"

The room was suddenly far too small. Jane's resolve shattered and was replaced with pure fear before she could think twice. "Oh, _God_…" she whispered, bringing a hand up to her mouth and turning away from Frankie. _God damn… _She wanted to melt into the floor.

"Jane, what the hell _happened?_"

"Frankie?"

They both spun around at the sudden sound of Maura's voice. The ME had just finished showering, to wash the smell of Ryan and Paddy's hospital room off of her, and was standing at the end of the hall, dressed in the same black pants and blouse, each article a little more wrinkled than before. She glanced from Rizzoli to Rizzoli, taken aback by the volumes both of their expressions were speaking. "Was…that was you banging, wasn't it? Is something wrong?"

Frankie threw an arm in her direction. "What the hell is _she_ doing here?"

Jane couldn't speak. She couldn't bring herself to do anything but wait for the realization to dawn on her brother's face. "Wait a second…"

"Frankie…" Maura began to speak, moving towards him, but stopped suddenly when he stabbed a finger in her direction.

"_You're _a part of this, too, aren't you? That's why she showed up at my place, isn't it? _Isn't it?_"

"Hey, Frankie—" Jane tried to interrupt and snapped her mouth shut when her brother shot her a glare fit to kill.

"No. I'm asking her, now. She can't lie." Frankie faced a wide-eyed Maura, staring at her with the most accusing expression she had ever seen. "What did you two do to my mother, Doctor Isles?"

The ME's mouth opened and closed several times, her vicious internal battle between instinct and loyalty clearly visible on the outside. "I…we—"

"_Maura!_" Jane barked suddenly, causing the shorter woman to snap her mouth shut. Having finally pulled herself together, the detective stepped forward to face her brother. "You don't get to speak to her like that, you hear me?" She shoved his shoulders, forcing him to stumble backwards towards the door. "Not here"—she pushed him again for emphasis—"not at the station"—he was almost at the door—"not _anywhere_. You don't force her to do _anything_, you got that?"

Frankie pushed Jane's hands away. "I'll do whatever I have to do to get some damn answers."

Jane stepped forward, nose-to-nose with her brother. "Why don't you mind your own God damn business?"

"Ma's in my house; it's _become_ my own God damn business."

"Well, then, why don't you go ask _her_ what this is all about?" Jane countered, the words slipping out of her mouth before she could think about them.

"You know what? Maybe I will." Without another word, Frankie yanked the door open and made to step out into the hallway.

"_Wait!_"

Maura's sudden interjection caused them both to freeze and turn around. She took several steps forward and grabbed Jane's arm, looking desperately into her eyes. "Jane, do you really want him to hear this from your mother?"

"Hear what?" Frankie questioned, his eyebrows furrowing.

"I…of course I don't, Maura, but nothing we say will make this any better, on _anybody_."

"Hear _what?_"

"Jane…"

The pleading in Maura's eyes struck Jane straight through the heart. She had already messed up once by telling her mother out of anger; she didn't want something like that to happen again. With a sigh, Jane consented. "Okay." She laid her hand across Maura's and lowered her eyes to the ground, speaking to her brother's shoes. "Frankie"—she cleared her throat, hoping to rid herself of some of the hoarseness from yelling—"okay. Um…the…the reason Ma flipped out and is now living with you is because…because I gave her some news this morning."

The younger Rizzoli's forehead creased. "News? What news?"

"It…" Jane took a deep breath, and redirected her gaze to a spot over Frankie's shoulder. "I didn't…time it very well, and it wasn't really something she wanted to hear."

Frankie frowned. "Jane, for God's sake—"

"Maura and I, Frankie…" Jane swallowed forcefully and squeezed her eyes shut; then she opened them and stared right at her brother. "We're together."

A heavy silence fell. Frankie stared from one woman to the other in disbelief, trying to figure out if this was a joke or not. "You're…together."

Both of them nodded. Blinking rapidly, Frankie tried to understand further. "You two are…together. Like…romantically together."

Another nod. Another long, tangible pause. Nobody moved as Frankie's eyes continued to dart from Jane to Maura and back again; he was desperately trying to understand. "And you just…told Ma."

Jane hesitated, but jerked her head all the same. Her brother tilted his chin up, and he looked at his sister for a very long time. "Wow. I…wow."

"Wow…wow what, Frankie?"

"Wow, as in…I need to go, wow."

Jane's stomach dropped to her shoes as Maura's grip on her arm tightened slightly. "Wait, Frankie—"

"No, Jane." He stepped into the hallway and glanced over his shoulder, his face showing nothing but stunned disbelief. "I…I just can't, right now. I'm sorry, but…yeah, I can't."

He walked down the hall, running a hand through his hair, and didn't look back, even when Jane called out for him to stop. When he was out of sight, she stepped back into her apartment, feeling a strange tingling sensation spread across her entire body. It was a couple of moments before she spoke. "I don't believe that just happened."

Maura shut the door as quietly as she could and followed the detective to the couch. "Jane…"

"I just told my brother that I'm in a relationship with a woman." Jane sat down on the cushions with a _whumph_, her mouth wide open as she stared incredulously into space. "Hours after I told my mother the same thing. I said I'm in love with a woman…and actually meant every word of it."

Maura sat down next to Jane, unsure of what to feel. "Look, Jane—"

"I just need a…a few minutes, okay, Maur? My moral compass is kind of going crazy right now." Without further ado, Jane dropped her head into her hands and tried to shut out the world. _I just need a few minutes. _She barely noticed when Maura began to rub her back again.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:** If any of you are still with me, I love you all dearly and wish I could hug each and every one of you right now. I am so, so sorry about the lack of updates; I lost sight of this story for a while and am just now getting back on track. Like I've said before, it _will_ get finished! I swear it! :3 for now, happy reading! I'm hoping to get the next chapter up much, much faster than this one.

* * *

><p>"<em>So what you're telling me, Maura, is…finding out you and Jane are involved was enough to make Angela move out of this house?"<em>

"Yes."

"_That's why she's gone?"_

"Exactly."

"_You being in a relationship with her daughter is the reason Angela is no longer here?"_

Sigh. "That is _precisely_ what I'm saying, yes."

"_Well, I think that is absolutely absurd."_

_I agree, _Maura thought as she idly picked at a loose string on Jane's comforter. Out loud, she replied, "Mother, you must understand. Angela is a devout Catholic and raised her children to be just the same way. It's…more than a little shocking to find out that somebody isn't who you expected them to be, who you _raised_ them to be."

"_That's no excuse for leaving a child behind. I know I may sound hypocritical to you, but believe me when I say I never purposely stepped out of your life because of who you were, and I am shocked that a loving woman like Angela would do something like this!"_

Maura stood up and began to pace the bedroom, agitated. "I think you're overreacting. Angela just needs some time to process this—there is no doubt in my mind that she'll be back. Did she take everything with her to Frankie's?"

"_Aside from a few odds and ends, yes."_

"Well, there you go." Maura gestured wide with her free arm. "Angela is made of odds and ends. If anything, that just further proves my hypothesis correct."

Through the phone, Constance sighed. _"I so hope you're right, darling. How is Jane holding up?"_

Maura stopped pacing and pinched her lips together. Jane hadn't shed a tear since Frankie left and was currently banging about the apartment, attacking every surface with a dust rag and a can of Lysol disinfectant. "She's compulsive cleaning at the moment."

"_Oh, dear, is it that bad?"_

"I think"—Maura glanced apprehensively at the door—"she may be pretending everything she scrubs is either her mother or brother's face."

"_Well, that's just awful!"_

"Maura!"

She jumped, and clamped the phone to her shoulder. "Yes, Jane?"

"Food's here!"

_Oh. _Maura raised her cell to her ear again. "I'm sorry, Mother, I have to go. Our lunch just arrived." She sat back down on the bed, exhaling softly. "Are you okay, being there by yourself? Or do you need me to come home?"

"_Oh, no, my dear, I'm sure I can handle a couple hours on my own. I'll be sure to call you if I need you, though."_

"Okay. You're positive?"

"_Bien_ _sûr. Goodbye, my dear. Give Jane my best."_

"I will, Mother."

* * *

><p>"I never thought it would be like this."<p>

Maura looked up from her last bite of eggroll, surprised. She and Jane had barely spoken all throughout their meal, Maura assuming her friend just needed more time to process everything that had happened, and now, the doctor found herself unable to think of a proper response. "Um…"

"I mean"—Jane picked up every Chinese food carton with one sweep of her arm and turned towards the sink—"I don't know what I thought it would be like, but I just never…" Sighing heavily, she let the cartons tumble from her arms and into the trashcan. "Not like this."

With a soft click of her tongue, Maura picked up their two plates and went to join the slouched detective at the counter. "Jane…"

"Maybe I thought a mother's love was enough? Or…Frankie and I had a solid enough relationship? It's just…" Jane let out an aggravated moan, dropping her head into her hands. "God, I feel like such an idiot."

Reaching for Jane's shoulder, Maura started, "You shouldn't—"

"But I _do_." Blind to the doctor's attempt at contact, Jane turned around and dragged herself to the couch, where she promptly slumped into a half-seated, half-lying position. "I _do_."

Maura took a moment to think before she moved again. Slowly putting one foot in front of the other, she made her way over to Jane's side and sat down. "Why?"

"Because…ugh." Jane ran her hands over her face, visibly and audibly frustrated. "I don't know. Everything is my fault, but at the same time, I have no idea how I could have prevented any of this from happening. I mean, sure, I could've…postponed saying anything for a while, but the truth would've eventually come out, and then who's to say they wouldn't have had the exact same reactions?"

Maura shifted her position so one leg was tucked under the other and she rested one arm on the back of the couch, staring at Jane. "Well, who's to say they _would_ have reacted the same way, if you had approached them at a different time?"

"Exactly. And that's why I don't know who I'm angrier at, me or my family." Letting her hands fall into her lap, Jane rolled her head to the side and gave Maura a helpless, pleading look. "I just wish things weren't so…_complicated_."

Those words hung in the air for a few moments before Maura gently took one of Jane's hands between her own. "Well, _we're_ not complicated."

The detective snorted and stared down at their entwined fingers. "Oh yeah, all the evidence points to 'simple as can be' when it comes to our relationship."

Not even the slightest bit phased by her friend's sarcasm, Maura cocked her head to one side. "Well. Let's see if I can make some things…a little _less_ complicated." She reached up with one hand and began to toy with a loose strand of Jane's hair as she spoke quietly. "I…simply adore you."

Jane looked up. Maura smiled lightly, and continued on. "You are simply the most courageous person I have ever met. It's simply astonishing how large your heart is and how much you are willing to sacrifice for not just your family, but for Frost, and Korsak, and me as well. I simply could not be more grateful for having the opportunity not only to know you, but to cherish you as my best friend and allow our relationship to grow into so, so much more. You're simply mine. I'm simply yours." Lifting up her second hand to wipe away the tears that had begun to track down Jane's cheeks, Maura turned the detective's face so she could stare right into the big, brown eyes she loved so much. "And I will honestly, wholeheartedly admit that I am simply, madly, and irreversibly in love with you, Jane Rizzoli. It doesn't get much plainer than that."

A watery smile slowly spread across Jane's face. "It doesn't, does it?"

Maura smiled back and barely shook her head. Jane put a palm over one of the hands on her cheeks and squeezed gently, swallowing a sob as she tried to speak. "Maura, I…I love you so much I can hardly stand it. I'm not as good with words as you, but…I hope you know that. I love you so much it hurts. A really, really good kind of hurt. Okay?"

"More than okay," Maura whispered.

"Good," Jane whispered back, relieved.

"Good."

Another pause settled between the two of them, and both became aware of how close they actually were. Jane saw Maura's eyes flick quickly down to her lips, and she felt her smile widen. "It's okay."

Their eyes met again. Jane placed one hand behind Maura's neck and tugged until their foreheads were touching. "I want to kiss you too."


	26. Chapter 26

She left Maura at her apartment that afternoon and drove to the BPD alone. Cavanaugh had told her to steer clear until Monday, but Jane knew her mother was going to be there for her afternoon shift and she had to, at the _very_ least, apologize to her. Growing up in her house taught Jane that the worst thing to do when Angela was upset was to let her stew in silence, and to leave her alone with something like _this_ hanging over her head…

Jane shook her head to clear her thoughts and flexed her hands against the steering wheel. She was on thin ice already and this was too important. She never should have sent her mother away in the first place.

Pulling up to the great stone building, Jane realized that the last time she had been this anxious before setting foot in the Boston Police Department was the day she took her detective's exam. No amount of deep breathing or relaxing thoughts were going to calm her nerves—it was better to just rip the bandage off and get it over with. She threw her car into park and got out, striding towards the front doors as if she belonged there.

Through the glass walls of the café, Jane saw her mother packing up. Her stomach squeezed as she slowly pushed her way inside the door and started to walk to the counter. Angela was putting her apron in her bag when she spotted Jane, freezing the detective in her tracks. A smile barely hinted the corner of Jane's mouth and Angela's expression immediately hardened. The older woman turned her eyes downward and began to hasten her movements, stuffing the apron into her bag and zipping it up with more fervor than necessary as Jane attempted to approach her.

"Ma…"

Angela didn't look up as she swung her purse over her shoulder and made her way out from behind the counter. Jane's heart was in her throat as she followed her mother out the back of the café and through the lobby. "_Ma_."

Pushing open the front doors with a sort of finality, Angela jogged down the steps of the BPD and had already started down the sidewalk when Jane came outside herself. "Ma, please…"

No response. Jane jumped down the steps two at a time and landed on the concrete, her legs almost giving out under her when she did. At the sight of her mother's retreating back, almost all her energy seeped out of her, tears filling her eyes as she tried to swallow the feeling of despair rising in her chest. _This can't be the end. It can't end like this_. The world was starting to spin around her and she couldn't think clearly at all—it was all she could do to remain standing. Wiping her nose, Jane breathed out a sob and gathered herself. "_Ma!_" she croaked desperately.

The break in Jane's voice stopped Angela in her tracks. She whirled around, expression hard as stone, and stared at her daughter. "What?" she barked.

"Please…" Weakly but as carefully if she was approaching a deer in the woods, Jane took a couple of steps forward. "Please, Ma, just let me explain—"

"Explain what?" Angela snapped. "You made it pretty clear this morning that you didn't want to explain _anything_ to me."

Jane swallowed hard and drew closer. "I was angry," she said, "And I was upset, and I am so, _so_ sorry I acted the way I did. I do want to talk to you, Ma, if we could just—"

"What's there to talk about?" Angela interrupted again, her face contorting in anger. "Your _lover_?" She spat the word at Jane like it was poison. "All the sinful things you've done with her? I had quite enough of that when you were dating men, and now—"

"I haven't done _anything_ with Maura!"

"Oh really, Jane? Nothing? You're just in love with her and that's all there is to it. A _woman_."

_A woman._ The word landed like a stone in Jane's stomach and as it sank, Angela did nothing but glare at her. The detective was aware of the looks they were getting from people passing them on the sidewalk, but she was paralyzed. She had messed up. She had dropped a bomb on Angela's head in the heat of the moment and selfishly sent her away to process this enormous change on her own because Jane was afraid of the consequences…_these_ consequences…and now Maura was nothing more than _a woman_ in Angela's eyes. Someone leading her daughter away from the life she was supposed to live. The _good_ life. The _right_ life. And Jane blew it up in her mother's face.

Without breaking eye contact, Angela shook her head slowly. "All those years thinking you were just being difficult," she said quietly. "You really had me fooled."

"I fooled myself too, Ma, I didn't plan this," Jane replied, tears glistening on her cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

The older woman stared at her for a long time. She seemed to take her time studying in the tears on her daughter's face and the desperation in her eyes and after several moments, she finally looked away. "I need to think."

Jane was taken aback by her abruptness and her eyebrows furrowed as Angela once again turned her back. "Ma—"

"I said I need to think, Janie!" Angela snapped over her shoulder, and resumed her rapid walk down the street.

Jane watched as Angela moved away, unsure of what to feel. A tugging sensation in the back of her mind compelled her to let the conversation end there; her mother's unconscious use of her nickname had caused the tiniest spark of hope to ignite and she wasn't going to risk losing that by calling her back. _Let her think. Maybe the next time you talk, you won't screw up royally again, you unbearably stupid idiot._ Wiping away the wetness on her face, Jane came back into focus and realized some people were still watching her cautiously. She frowned heavily.

"Can I do something for you?"

The small group dispersed instantly and she started for her car, glad her hard Rizzoli resolve was returning. Looking down at her trembling hands, she was suddenly overwhelmed by thoughts of Maura and exactly what she was fighting for, what was making all of this worth it. _Maura_. Jane closed her fists and quickened her pace. Her ties with Angela and Frankie may be hanging on by a thread, but Jane knew she was always going to have family. Maura was her family. They were going to figure this out and they were going to do it together.

Jane couldn't wait to get home to her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Well, here we are again! A year and a half since I last updated this story. I owe you all five hundred and fifty apologies for the outrageous delay. I've said it before and I'll say it again: no matter what happens or how long it takes, I am not going to leave this story unfinished. It's my pride and joy and I am so, so grateful for anybody who has stuck with me for this incredible amount of time. To new readers, welcome! I hope you've enjoyed the ride so far. As always, reviews are appreciated. Let me know if my writing has improved in my time away! I'll see you all again soon.


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